Can I get away with a 97 word blurb? I've been given to understand it's supposed to be at least double that, but I can only just make it to 133 and that includes a lot of unnecessary crap. The story is only 31k anyway. Also, this is more or less a continuation of the Magical Scottish Blurb topic, but I figured it would be better to just start over. Here's the latest attempt: Near the end of the 16th century, witch hunts were all the rage in Scotland. A smart man like John Fian would know this was a particularly bad time to make deals with the Devil, but like so many before him, the love for a flame-haired farmer’s daughter called Agnes got the better of him. We’ve all been there, at one point or another, right? Based on historical events that seem questionable enough to begin with, this is the heretofore untold story of love and desire, shaggy cows, and pubic hair around the turn of the century. The tone is supposed to be irreverent. It's not a serious book, and I kinda want people to think, "Well, this is gonna be weird." But I do want it spelled correctly, so is the comma after "we've all been there" supposed to be there? And I could do with a better word than "heretofore." I appreciate the haughtiness of it, but it doesn't flow well in this particular sentence.
Did you mean to imply that that so many before had fallen in love with the flame-haired daughter or that love in general got the better of so many? I'd also change the first sentence like this: In the last part of the 16th century, witch hunts raged. A smart man like John Fian knew it was a particularly bad time.... And: Based on questionable historical events, this is the never-told story of ....
I actually did, yes. Or at least, a flame-haired farmer's daughter called Agnes. Not necessarily this one. Thought it would be funny, but that you have to ask suggests this flame-haired daughter was just very popular... Dammit. I'll have to think of something else. Linguistically, I understand the change, but I meant to suggest witch hunting was the dumb trend of the time, like we have, I dunno, TikTok? How terrible would it be if I kept it like that?
Not terrible at all. They do have different meanings, and your version better captures what you are trying to say. Or maybe .... witch hunts trended....
