Basically, writing a novel where we follow the prophetic Dark One, and his descent into darkness (and eventually triumph). I have linked to the 7 pages I've written below just so you can get the context: [link deleted by moderator] The novel starts out on his thirty-first birthday, where he sits on the executioner's block. This is sorta a flash-forward. Then, we go all the way back to when he was a child, where he also found himself on the executioner's block, but was saved by dark spirits that protected him. In my story, I'm having difficult figuring out where to start for a few reasons. So, first off, at the start of the book, I explicitly mention that at 6, 11, and 14, this Dark One tries (unsuccessfully) to fight the Chosen One (the prince), who is hiding behind his gates. However, I wanted to show the Dark One from a young age so we can understand his descent into darkness. Basically, after the failed execution as a child (all the blades would shatter, and any attempts to imprison him would not work, as the dark sprits protected him), he was sent off to a far away village, where people feared and loathed him. They hated him, and isolated him. This, of course, made it a self-fulfilling prophecy, whereby he became the evil person he was destined to be. The scene where we show him in this village, and mention how he was exiled there immediately follows the scene where they tried to execute him as a baby. I was thinking of starting at six or so, but then I come back to two problems: first, that's a pretty big time jump. Would that be too jarring for the reader? And second, we already know that at six (and for that matter, 11 and 16), he attacked the Prince's palace unsuccessfully, and it may spoil the entire thing to let it be known upfront. I could always take out the references to these attempted sieges by the Dark One, but I kinda liked the jokes that they're included in. I considered possibly using multiple time jumps to show just small snippets of him growing up, before settling at maybe 19 or so, but unsure if such a quick elapse in time would be too long, and not sure if I could effectively portray how his upbringing contributed to his evilness in only a couple short chapters. Any thoughts on this? Would love if someone could take a look at the pages I've written, and see if maybe there's a better way to do this. Basically, wanting him to be evil, but have the reader sympathize with him, and eventually have him find himself amongst sympathizers who want to fight back against the Chosen One's tyranny. But still have to figure out a way to make that jive with him being evil and such.
What occurs to me is that a plotting problem in the first 7 pages might be ok to just leave aside and ignore until the first draft is complete.
I was coming in to say basically the same thing. You won't know the actual shape of the story until you write a first draft. That's when you can see the problems and start to solve them in revisions or re-writes. Sometimes it's as simple as moving this part over there, or sometimes it requires some re-writing.
So, @w. bogart, @evild4ve, and @Xoic, I think I've figured it out a bit better. So, when I started this, I really just wanted to tell a story from the perspective of the Dark One, rather than the Chosen One -- and that still applies. But other than the former being treated like garbage, I didn't really have a concept/story behind it. However, I think a much more interesting take on things is that neither one of them can kill each other. They've tried over the years, and nothing seems to work. They're both protected by equal and opposite forces. However, the Chosen One is given (or was created by a sorcerer) a magic mirror sword that allows him to see and know things. This sword shows him that the one weapon he can use to defeat the Dark One is located in the salt mines. So, assuming there's some sort of element or weapon or something deep in these mines, he begins upping his workforce there, even going so far as to have his army frame people for petty crimes so that they're sent to the salt mines as punishment. Years of this forced hard labor has made life in the salt mines tough, and there is growing dissent amongst the slaves. One of these workers is a young woman who grew up in the mines, and who, you may have already guessed it, is actually the weapon that can defeat the Dark One. She has powers that allow her to manipulate salt (probably won't explicitly mention this), and this is learned after the slaves revolt, and she figures out she has powers for the first time. Word gets back to the Chosen One, he eventually finds her, and siphons her power, finally getting the weapon he needs to defeat the Dark One. Obviously, in some way (which I'm still trying to figure out), the Dark One defeats the Chosen One, and brings peace to the land, blah blah blah. The theme is that we are not bound by our destiny. The Dark One was meant to reign terror upon the land, but instead, he was their savior. I've thought of him sparing the prince, as he realizes that, just as he himself was made evil by those around him treating him bad for being the Dark One, the Chosen One was only a product of his environment, further rooting the theme into the story. Thoughts on this? If I go with this, now I have to figure out three things: 1. How the Dark One ends up defeating the Chosen One 2. Whether he spares the prince or not 3. Where to start my damn story after the flashback. Was thinking 16 or so, but not sure if starting the first paragraph or so of the story at 31, going back to him being a newborn from the second paragraph to the sixth page, and then forward again all the way to 16 would be far too long of a skip -- especially with the fourth sentence in the entire story saying we needed to go back to the beginning of his story... Edit: If I do the thing where he spares him, I've also thought of having the Dark One wield the mirror sword which can only be wielded by the Chosen One), and have him see in the mirror that HE has BECOME the Chosen One.
When I read descriptions like this, I see:- The antagonist has a plot device that pressures the protagonist. They both go to the location to find the MacGuffin. The location has a negative register. The MacGuffin is the love interest and has some agency in the location. The antagonist finds the love interest and (without her consent?) pressures the protagonist. Often the question is "is this a good fantasy?" and the answer is "sure, I guess" but I think two useful points arise with this one:- 1. Lose the magic mirror sword and go straight to establishing the love interest. Structurally, the sword is redundant - a duplication of the love interest. The creative brain duplicates story elements when it can't decide between two slightly different stories it wants to tell: it puts both on the paper. 2. Salt-Mine Lady is more interesting than the Chosen One or the Dark One - because she gets to choose between them and isn't burdened with a pre-ordained destiny or any need to "Save the Kingdom!" She isn't a familiar fantasy-trope. Consider making her the main character. She could be a sarky, feminist take on willy-waving in the genre* She could be a comedic bimbo, oblivious to the consequences of her choices She could be a stone cold bitch, playing the two hapless men off against each other She can be anything - and it's immediately going to be more interesting than a Dark One or a Chosen One. Even postmodern deconstructions of Dark Ones and Chosen Ones were old hat by the time of Thomas Covenant (1977) or The Last Unicorn (1968). King Haggard tho. *To be fair: all these are old hat too - e.g. the sarky feminist one traditionally runs off with a minor female character at the end.
There was a mention of the Dark One and Chosen One getting their powers from an external source. What if due to say being hung over, or some other cause, the external source screwed up and gave the powers to the wrong person, the Chosen One getting the Dark Ones powers for example. Might be something to have fun with.
Hmm, so someone elsewhere also pointed the MacGuffin (specifically my idea for the end, where the Dark One becomes the Chosen One, and I see the problem, how it takes away the human element. I've thought of another angle to the story that might be better for the plot, and put the focus more on the woman as more than just a MacGuffin: I could fudge with the timelines a bit. Maybe the dark one and the Chosen One have been around for a longer time, and could never find a way to kill each other. The Chosen One became obsessed with finding a way. He has perhaps ALWAYS had the magical sword, or had it for a very long time, and when it tells him that the weapon he needs is in the salt mines, he begins forcing people to dig there. In this situation, there have been numerous generations of slaves in the salt mines, which might be better story-wise, as they'd have their own sorta culture by now, and pretty much be their own little "faction." Well, the woman in the salt mines helps lead this slave rebellion, and that's when it's discovered that she's the ultimate weapon that can take down the Dark One. She's still a MacGuffin in a sense, but more along the lines of Alina Starkov from Shadow and Bones, wherein she leads her own faction, and has her own deep story, and not being used only as a prop/plot device. And it also allows her to make a decision of who to help (or not help).
Wouldn't be a bad idea if I was going full comedy, but I do want to ground it with quite a bit of drama. On an unrelated note, would it be weird if my Chosen One is born before my Dark One? I like idea of my Chosen One, maybe at 9 or 10, trying to have the Dark One beheaded. Thought of reversing it, or having them born simultaneously, but I dunno, the idea of the "good guy" trying to have a baby beheaded is the kinda story I want to tell, lol.
I was thinking more of a funny error that sets everything else in motion. Similar to the Angel and Demon working together to hide their mistake in "Good Omens" by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett. You are already leaning toward making the Chosen One the bad guy, this just puts a reason behind it, and adds a subplot of the external source trying to fix the mistake before it is too late, the ticking clock. Perhaps the external source thinks killing one will release both their powers, so it can fix the mistake, so it pushes for the execution, which fails. A comic mistake doesn't require going full comedy. Just tossing out ideas here.
I am a fan of Deus ex Machinas for solving problems in first drafts. Then, in later drafts, add foreshadowing so they are no longer Deus ex Machinas.
