I am getting really frustrated with writing hand gestures as action beats. It's so hard to do without sounding clumsy or wordy. The problem occurs when I need to convey that the pov character "indicated their environment" rather than a specific location or object within the environment. The way someone might use their hands when saying, "Look at this place!" or "You live here?". But as an action beat, not simply implied in the dialogue. eg. from my current work (He gestured at their surroundings. “Not just this place...) See how clumsy that is? Any suggestions would be appreciated. P.S. I can't just do it in dialogue. I need frequent action beats to break up dialogue that goes on for 1000+ words. (Which happens a lot in my stories.) And I'm running out of ideas.
it's not really that clumsy in my opinion, unless it clashes tonally with the rest of the work, I suppose.
I don't see what's wrong with what you have, and you could just change it up occasionally with something like 'Forcefully, he pointed at the photo'. "Then explain this". (Yeah I know this uses an adverb and italics, which both should be limited, but you get the idea.) Or 'he waved his hands, shaking his head' or 'he extended his arm to the stairs, inviting them to proceed', etc. But my question is why do you have 1000 words of dialogue with no description or internal monologue/introspection? You can break up the dialogue with more than beats (unless it's a script). One book that I think may be helpful is 'Emotional Beats' but for the mundane beats that just explain what's happening, I don't see why you think it's an issue. By the way, I like the book but haven't really used it much, intending to really get into it while a first draft sits. FYI, the copy I got didn't have the title on the spine, in case that bothers anyone. I also have been making a note, often with a highlighter, of the beats I see in stuff I read, planning on reviewing them later. I don't intend to copy them, especially the really creative ones, but use them for inspiration (which I know is a fine line between plagiarism). Of course, beats which show up and are ubiquitous are fair game (when appropriate), like 'he craned his head around', etc.
This particular conversation is happening while two people are walking. I have other conversations where they are riding in a wagon. I can only describe the environment so many times before it becomes repetitive or breaks the flow of the dialogue. And I usually do have introspection, but this is one of those rare cases where the dialogue needs to move fast and the character doesn't have time to think. I will keep your suggestion in mind for conversations where it does apply. Thanks! P.S. I've settled on " He indicated their environment. " for now. I can always change it back to " He gestured at their surroundings. " if I get any complaints
I like physical gestures in stories. It adds a heavy visual element, like whipped cream on hot chocolate. My solution to your specific situation would be to experiment more. There's a million ways to write the same thing. “He gestured at their surroundings” is just one of many. A couple of folks have already given some good alternatives, but here's a few I've come up with ( I'm presuming it's a guy and a gal, and that they're in some kind of desert ): “He swung his arm out, underlining the vista, 'Not just this place...'” “He ran his hand across the background of barren hills, 'Not just this place...'” “His hand soared out, reaching towards the hazy mesas, 'Not just this place...'” “He lazily lifted his hand, indicating their surroundings, 'Not just this place...'” “He pushed his hand out in front of him, drawing attention to the dusty flats, 'Not just this place...'” “He tapped at the dry air, 'Not just this place...'” “His coat rustled as he lifted his arm, directing attention to their surroundings, 'Not just this place...'” “Mid stride he lobbed his hand in front of him, pulling her sight to the ditches and dunes, 'Not just this place...'” “Like an old bartender serving a drink he dragged is hand out in front of him, bringing her attention to the landscape, 'Not just this place...'” “He threw his hand out in front of them, arresting her vision, before returning it to his fist, 'Not just this place...'” None of these might be right for your writing, but the idea is that there are many ways you could do it. And you don't have to stick to just hand gestures. You can do head nods, or have somebody kick at the ground, or gesture with just their shoulder, tap a piece of the environment, spit, give a look, stop doing an action, etc....
I think I'll settle on this, for the current revision. “I think it’s beautiful.” “It is, but it still feels wrong.” He swept his arm out over the landscape. “And not just this place. There’s something wrong with… everything, everywhere.”
He indicated the apartment—maybe the entire neighborhood—with a sweep of the hands. Interesting, I wrote this without checking any exsisting answers. Looks like sweep is the winnah! I hope you're not writing about hand gestures a lot though. That would get really weird and tedious after a while—like what is this, a book written by somebody who uses sign language? Always flapping his hands all over the place? I'd be thinking something like this if I'd encounter more than 2 or 3 such references within a few pages. There are other nonverbal ways to indicate the same thing: His eyes swiveled across the room, taking it all in—possibly including the neighborhood visible through the windows—even as distaste colored his face. Or if it can be more than just a single beat maybe something like— "OK, what? What is it? You've had that same look on your face since we first hit the neighborhood, and it's stronger now. I know it isn't the greatest neighborhood, or apartment, but hey, you take what you can get." Of course you said you prefer not to use dialogue. But in this case it's dialogue indicating a facial expression (that I wouldn't care to try to describe in narration). Anyway, just trying to show some different ways to approach it. And I apologise for the blatant em-dash abuse, sometimes I can't help myself. I would edit them down in a later draft of course.
Just saying that he gestured is very generic. I think you want to say exactly what the gesture is. It looks like someone beat me to this advice and that you're on the right track with it now. Good luck.
"In-between" dialogue always gets me, too. Am I allowed to link off-site? I like the attached site when I'm lost trying to think of gestures... https://writershelpingwriters.net/2012/09/physical-attribute-thesaurus-hands/
