1. Tobin Rickard

    Tobin Rickard Member

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    Getting past embarrassment

    Discussion in 'Research' started by Tobin Rickard, Apr 4, 2017.

    I have a WIP right now that relies on a very heavy thing for the protag. He was sexually assaulted by my antagonist in school. The antagonists motivation is the fact that he is a pedophile.

    I am struggling with the equal feelings that the story needs to be told but that it may make people look at me differently if my antagonist is too real.

    Intellectually I know I can write the draft the way it needs to be and that I can use the knowledge of how these people think that I gained in my research phase to build a convincing character. Emotiknally I fear the thoughts of others. Wondering if thats how I think.

    Has anyone else dealt with this? If so, how?
     
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  2. Simpson17866

    Simpson17866 Contributor Contributor

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    Welcome to the site!
    Not really, actually: I've been studying psychopaths and serial killers ever since I was 15, and I've never had trouble showing my father my stories about murder because he's the one who got me hooked on the crime genre to begin with. Do you have anybody in your life who you know enjoys stories about vicious criminals like the one you're writing?
     
  3. Tobin Rickard

    Tobin Rickard Member

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    I do. And I've written quite a few stories about murder, and in one I intentionally attempted to make the serial killer a "sympathetic" character. I think there's a different feeling involved when it's about this sort of subject matter, though that might just be me. I think for me it's the fact that the antagonist is a pedophile that's the biggest concern. I fear the stigma that may come from delving too far into that kind of mindset.

    Nobody is going to worry that I'm a murderer based on reading about a killer in my story, but I fear they may look at me like a pedo. if I were to write the character too accurately.
     
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  4. Simpson17866

    Simpson17866 Contributor Contributor

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    That's never actually made sense to me. Rape is one of the most evil, hideous, vicious tortures ever invented, but one would think that murder would be considered more evil than torture (though obviously both would be a thousand times worse than one or the other.) If it's possible to write about fictional murderers without being considered a potential murderer, then shouldn't it be just as possible to write about fictional rapists without being considered a potential rapist?
     
  5. Tobin Rickard

    Tobin Rickard Member

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    I tend to agree. The thing I fear, I guess, is that, due to the plot of the story, I both have to include the rape scene, as well as I have to have it included from the antagonists point of view. Which means I have to include it in such a way that it is an enjoyment to him. It was hard enough to get myself to write the scene, but now I fear someone reading it.

    They say writing is bearing a piece of your soul, which I agree with in a way. But I also have to say we can form that piece of our soul into whatever we want.

    I don't think I'll ever like this scene, but I also won't remove it. It's a required piece for this book that I've spent the last 3 years working on.
     
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  6. Simpson17866

    Simpson17866 Contributor Contributor

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    How much research have you done about how to write rape specifically?
     
  7. Tobin Rickard

    Tobin Rickard Member

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    I've researched how pedos think, watched a couple of documentaries on their thought process, and have known one in my childhood.
     
  8. Orihalcon

    Orihalcon Senior Member

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    Have you ever considered the notion that writing can also be a means of further exploring a subject matter you didn't know (as much) about before? I think I've expressed this sentiment quite a few times these past few days. What you're doing is an exercise and challenge in empathy, too.

    This might help you a bit but I'm not sure if it lets you overcome your fear entirely. On one hand, you can't control what someone thinks, and it would be a challenging read. People who object saying things like 'how can they write something like this?' usually don't understand this empathetic aspect that went into it. On the other hand, there is the fear of being personally confronted by an accusation. I would refer to the exercise in empathy as well as communicate the importance of the inclusion of the perpetrator's perspective. You should ask that your accuser, indeed any reader, respects your effort in bravely entering this dark and emotionally challenging place instead of berating you for it.
     
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  9. Tobin Rickard

    Tobin Rickard Member

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    I think my ultimate fear has to do with my wife, who was -- as was I -- affected by this very thing as a child. I worry she would read it and think differently of me for writing it the way I have to for the plot. That said, I finally had a conversation with her about it and she belayed that fear. Frankly I don't care what anyone else thinks of it, as long as she's okay with it.

    Thank you for all of your help with this. The subject is a tough one no matter who you are, but I think it's an important one to tackle.
     
  10. Masked Mole

    Masked Mole Senior Member

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    I can totally sympathize. One of my best stories is about a guy who becomes extremely abusive and mentally unstable. I haven't showed it to some close family members, because I don't think they could handle it well.
    I showed it to people in a writing workshop. If they had been disgusted with me, I wouldn't have cared all that much because I didn't know them well. But I got some great advice in the end.
     
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  11. big soft moose

    big soft moose An Admoostrator Admin Staff Supporter Contributor Community Volunteer

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    IMO theres nothing wrong with writing about rape/absuse from the abusers point of view so long as it doesnt become apologia (ie you probably want to show him justifying it to himself, but it needs to be clear that you as an author are not justifying it ... that said it is something that will be difficult to get published

    incidentally if you want some examples of how these people think google 'nambla' - not from a work or family computer I hasten to add - do prepare to be sickened though
     

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