So the original draft went like this: But I'm starting to see that I'm not describing the general's reaction very well, and I think the reader might be missing it. He's supposed to look at him with an expression that says "Are you really asking me this?" or "Do I really need to answer that?" or in a modern setting one might say "...really? c'mon." But I want to keep his reaction as nonverbal. I tried "The general merely cocked an eyebrow at him with an expression like he were suspicious of Baum's intelligence." but it felt too... mean? too cruel? The point of him not saying anything is meant to emphasize how obvious the answer should be, not cast the sergeant as incompetent. I tried "The general merely cocked an eyebrow at him with an a disapproving glare." and it is an improvement, but I feel like it's not quite hitting the nail on the head. Any thoughts?
I actually think it's fine they way you have it. It's clear and gets across what you want it to. Adding more to it actually takes away from it, IMO.
If you feel it needs more work, watch some old Star Trek, and try describing Spock when he does his eyebrow expression.
Yeah, I think it's fine too. The readers are usually paying more attention than you think. All said, you could modify the Baum's dialogue if you want max clarity. After all, he's there, he's experiencing the expression first hand: "Apart from the tactical benefit of her clairvoyance, I mean. There appears to be something personal driving you."
If I wanted to clarify it, I would write "cocked an eyebrow quizzically at him". But I don't mind the use of adjectives, some people prefer not to use them.
