When it comes to description I think a lot of writers focus on describing what they want readers to see. But what about the other senses? How much time do you spend on description when it comes to the other senses? Lately, I've been incorporating scent into my writing. This is sort of new in the fact that the way things smell, feel, and sound is playing a bigger role in my stories. I think these things can add texture to a story. What about you guys? How often to you use or think about the other senses when writing your stories?
Bring the senses into a description, sets a tone for a scene in ways a simple decsription can. A sunny day in a meadow, with the smells of new growth, and blooming flowers on the breeze. Sets a bright tone for the scene.
While I get where you're sort of going with this, I'm not too sure I would consider tone and description as the same or even really related. I mean you can write a story in any tone you want and that doesn't really have any barring on what sort of descriptions are in the prose, right? How descriptive is your writing? What do you feel is the biggest sense for an author to use, drawing readers to a deeper feel or undressing with a story? Just wondering...
My thinking is more along the line of memory links that can be stimulated by the senses. Scent is a strong link based on what research I have seen. With that in mind, by including more detailed sensory information, we can potentially use the readers on memories to increase the immersion in the scene. If you want a more hopefully tone for the scene, then using a spring setting, with that sensory input, can set that tone on a subconcious level.
Oh, I get what you're saying. It's interesting you bring up smell specifically. I've leaned into that one with my last short story. I think it might be an underutilized sense in description. But done right it's got a lot of potential to be more powerful than just the more-often-than-not relied upon sight. Of course, you don't want to overdo anything. Just hoping branching out a little where have a greater outcome for the overall story.
I'm a descriptive writer, maybe because in real life I am a particularly visual and tactile person. Over the years, comments from betas have ranged from "too descriptive!" to "I love it- I feel like I'm there." Most of my descriptions are aimed at settings rather than personal appearance and none involve graphic depictions of violence or just plain nastiness. Stephen King's The Stand was an excellent story, as I recall, but I could easily have done without blow by blow details of the flu.
It is a tool that needs to be used with a light touch. But like a light brush stroke, it can have a large impact on the picture. The research I mentioned is here https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-athletes-way/202103/why-smells-and-memories-are-so-strongly-linked-in-our-brains
I know this thread is not getting a lot of attention, but I wanted to mention a short story by Vladimir Nabokov titled "Sounds." It is one of my all time favorite short stories. And obviously sounds are at the root of it more than in other short stories. It's so beautifully and masterfully done.
The current story I'm working on focuses on sensory experience as part of the narrative. The MC has a heightened sense of smell, so I use scent quite a bit. The memory aspect and establishing tone is central to how I approach it, like w. bogart mentioned. The descriptions must tie back to the POV character's responses and have a narrative purpose, otherwise it becomes distracting, in my opinion. For sounds, I search for verbs that suggest noise through onomatopoeia, which adds "hearing" into the action (motion) without it becoming a direct focus. Words like whip, clip, rattle, clink, plunk, crunch, thump, crack, smack, crinkle, etc. Taste and smell are intertwined, so that can lend to interesting descriptions. For touch, I try to incorporate texture, temperature, weight or volume, and pressure as possible focuses. Similes work nicely for relating the senses to memory or encourage/reveal desired associations. The other use for senses I've learned is to apply them metaphorically. People do this naturally in speech, so incorporating it into writing can create more vivid abstract experiences. Rudimentary examples might be "a cold stare" or "sweet song." Being very specific goes a long way. "Sweet song" is generic, while "honey song" is a step more evocative. I'm still learning, but this is where I am at with using the senses in description. I hope this thread receives more responses. Thanks for the story recommendation! Here is a link to read it online for anyone interested: Nabokov_ Sounds.pdf - Google Drive
I think I do a decent job incorporating the non-visual senses, especially in the flash stuff I've been writing lately for these contests. It's not usually a main focus, just something I sprinkle in to flesh out the world. In the one I just wrote, however, sound is almost a theme. The creatures constantly scratching and scraping the window glass plays a big part throughout. There's also his daughter's deafening screams early in the story. When he first picks up the gun he says he'd forgotten how heavy it was, so I at least touched on another sense there. In another, the little girl smells the rubber of her gas mask, and when she stomps, she enjoys the sound of her rain boots slapping the pavement and echoing off the wall across the street. In another, I have a very cold room and several sounds, like a record playing, extremely loud hinges and creaking floorboards. These are 650 word stories, so there's not a ton of sensory stuff, but what's there makes the world more real, I think. Judges have mentioned my descriptions in a positive light, which is cool. Also, I love Nabokov. I've only read a couple of novels, though, no shorts. I'll definitely check out that story.
@HemlockCordial and @Rzero -- When you guys get a chance to read the Nabokov story I would love to hear your thoughts on his use of sounds in this piece. What sort of things did bring in sound do for the story? By titling it "Sounds" he's basically asking or telling readers to pay attention to the sounds in this story. Why do you think he did that? Or of course whatever you want to say or thought of the story. And it would be great to hear from anyone else who check out this story the @HemlockCordial posted a link to in his post.
I write romance, so touch is important in conveying pleasure and interactions between characters. More erotic. I am not referring to erotica I am referring to the sensual relationship without the in out mechanics. Falling in love. Remember your first kiss? I bet you closed your eyes.
I might just be misunderstanding you, but doesn't the tone directly impact the way things are described? Wide-eyed kid exploring the world: The station was bigger than anything he'd seen before. Imposing columns rose up above him until they met the ceiling while so many people around him wandered around, or rushed to catch their train. Ornery old man who'd rather be at home replying on forums: Did a station really need to be this big? Pretentious art-deco columns held the ceiling up, and all these assholes mindlessly puttering about just got in the way of him trying to get home. Roughly the same description, quite a different tone. And I think that just happens if you don't stop the story to describe things. Like, if you're telling the old man's story and the reason for him to go to the station, but when he gets there, you start telling the reader what the station looks like. Describing the ceiling even though the old man doesn't even look up.
Maybe it's a mix of scene/story tone and perspective. Those two things get so tightly wrapped together it can be hard to tell which is contributing what to the text. Edit: or it might be simpler to say that all elements impart something to the tone, which is the pool that ultimately informs the prose.
Sound became the axis around the narrator's sense of freedom and transcendence, I think - the moment he realized he held no strong attachment to his lover and began to drift away. It happened while she played piano: "On that happy day when the rain was lashing and you played so unexpectedly well came the resolution of the nebulous something that had imperceptibly arisen between us after our first weeks of love. I realized that you had no power over me, that it was not you alone who were my lover but the entire earth." It reminded me of an experience from when I was a teenager. I'd been homeless for a while and stayed in a shelter at night. After school, I would walk to the shelter - several miles - in a dense, urban area. Once, I zoned out and ended up lost. At first, I panicked, but then the thought hit me: "I don't have anywhere to be. I have no home, and no one is waiting for me. What does it matter if I am lost for a while?" In that moment, all my senses sharpened - I noticed the way the sun hit the sidewalk, and the blue of the sky, and smells of street, and rush of cars, and I walked aimlessly, drinking in everything around me as if I'd just come alive for the first time. Similar to Nabokov, I came to the conclusion that I was not tethered to a particular place (or person) but belonged to the earth - a small fragment of something so large that all my concerns became insignificant. And of course, that awareness only lasts for a short time. This passage also speaks to this theme: "That day I was on a crest of a wave. I knew that all my surroundings were notes of one and the same harmony, knew - secretly - the source and the inevitable resolution of the sounds assembled for an instant, and the new chord that would be engendered by each of the dispersing notes. My soul's musical ear knew and comprehended everything." I think sound in this story is a vehicle for an idea. His lover's notes on the piano, clean and contained, couldn't drown out the rain - the notes of the world much larger than hers, and one to which he wanted to experience, and he hadn't understood that until that day. A sound strikes and then disappears or fades. Sounds are impermanent. There are many ways to analyze it, but this take captured my attention the most. What are your thoughts on these questions deadrats? Why is this one of your favorite stories?
My current WIP features a blind witness to a crime, so yes, I had to totally change the way I would normally write POV for this particular character. I even had a friend blindfold me and accompany me on the city bus to go shopping downtown for a day. (The story is in an urban setting and public transit is part of the main plot.) The exercise really made my character more authentic and served as a humble reminder to count my blessings. I have definitely gained a lot of admiration for vision-impaired people who get around town and take care of the daily tasks of life all on their own.
That reminds me of Birdbox. And they way they blindfolded the camera with just the tiny bit at the bottom where you could see the ground as it moved and made the audio more intense.
That's an amazing exercise! Yeah, try to experience what your character will be expeirencing if possible, that lends a lot of authority to the writing. But someone who's brand new to blindness (simulated or otherwise) is a fumbling noob compared to someone who's been blind for a long time. It's really true that the other senses expand and take over when one of them is missing in action. I talked to a blind man once after seeing him navigate perfectly along a crowded sidewalk as if he knew exactly where he was, and he said it's like echo-location. You learn to tell by the sound quality, including the tapping of the cane, where there are open areas around you and where there aren't, and he always knows exactly where he is on the sidwalks (assuming he's on home turf of course, and hasn't gotten disoriented). I just looked for some info on this and apparently there have been some new developments in brain science that indicate none of our senses work independently of the others. We see better when it's coupled with what we hear and feel etc. The brain’s mechanisms for vision depend on other senses And of course, it's long been known that in blindness other senses begin to map their information onto the visual cortex, expanding their capabilities and relating them specifically to what we normally think of as visual information. So walking blindfolded is like riding a bike for the first time. Whereas you'll be fumbling and falling all over the place for a while, once you've gotten your 'sea legs' under you, you'll be much better at it.
Thanks for the article, Xoic. I found the optogenetics part very interesting. Fascinating method of isolating specific areas of the brain to assess functionality of those senses.
Hmm. I write "historical-fiction-blended-with-mythology-with-added-jokes" (i.e. like comic fantasy, except that in my worlds, mythological creatures are mighty scarce, and any magic has to make sense. I do rigorous and methodical research, to make sure the story-worlds make sense). The time periods I use are varied, but are usually pre-B.C. I only wrote one post-B.C. novel (set in the 1st century AD), with no magic or mythological creatures whatever. My current novel (in development hell, and stuck in the planning phases) is 11th-century AD. Because of all this, my first priority is what my characters can see. Who knows what 6th-century BC Babylon looked like? Or 2nd-century BC Athens, or 3rd-century BC Sardinia, or 12th-century BC Greece? What people can smell and hear usually takes a backseat, but since I normally write in a city somewhere, I incorporate a city smells and noises. That obviously depends on where my MC is! Let's see -- some examples: 1. In the slums? Rubbish, barking dog or two, rundown and/or decrepit buildings. 2. By the docks? The smell of salt, the crying of gulls, the waves crashing on the shore, and perhaps a bell or two. (No "ARR matey", please -- we are not in a bad pirate movie!) =P 3. In a watering hole? Someone playing dice or cards, barman asking you what you'll have and keeping his "Peacemaker" club handy 4. In the market? LOADS of noise, people bartering, slaves running here and there to look for ingredients for their masters, delivermen with carts -- want some action? LOOK OUT, RUNAWAY CART!! Horses panic; lots of whinnies and snorts. Forget about anyone jumping on a horse and riding out of there Hollywood-style, the horse says "Neigh!" (Sorry). 5. Eating dinner in a tavern (or the Roman equivalent, cauponae and/or tabernae)? Someone making food or pouring drinks, people ordering, maybe a drunk looking to make my MC's life hard! 6. Attending the king/emperor ... by invitation only, of course. Civilised noises, please! Candied grapes, respectful hushes, a scribe attending on the emperor --- that kind of thing Those can set the scene (like props for for a movie or live theatre), and then be augmented or even replaced by something else (or unexpected). What that is depends on who the MC is, and even what time it is. There's one constant: one, two or more guards can be in any of the above scenes -- patrolling or drinking, helping or not. The guards will be more smartly dressed (but not necessarily smarter!) in a palace scene. I'm not sure if all this helps you, deadrats, but it definitely reminded me to insert more smells and noises into my 11th-century AD novel ...
Have you read Fritz Lieber's essay Fafhrd and Me? He created the city of Lankhmar as a composite of ancient Rome and New York (where he lived), so he could make it feel real, despite being a humorous fantasy place filled with magic and weird things.
I haven't, but as I said, I write historical fiction (with an emphasis on 'historical') ... so my first rule (or one of them, anyway) is to stay away from anachronisms. Mythology is OK, but it has to be the kind of mythology that the characters would have (or at least might have) believed in. For example, a story that features Vikings might also feature a little Norse mythology. A story that features ancient Greeks also features a little Greek mythology, and so on. Sorry: since (say) the Greeks believed that the undead would be reeking corpses covered only with the ripped remains of sheets, then my Greek hero/heroine sees exactly that, not Bela Lugosi-type vampires with fancy waistcoats and mock-Transylvanian accents. They clearly don't belong here. In short, I take a real setting and try to create a fantastic, sword-and-sorcery-type (or even 'sword-and-no-sorcery-type') adventure in it. Magic is exceptionally rare, and I always try to understand how it works, so that my characters do too. As for my heroes, they're not great warriors like Aragorn, or cunning rogues like Fafhrd. They tend to be 'ordinary people in extraordinary circumstances'. They're a little like Bilbo Baggins, except they don't meet wizards, wear armour or battle dragons; at least, not literal ones. I can't recall the last time I read Fritz Lieber, but I'll try to find and re-read his books again.
Lieber was very keen on historical accuracy, as was Lovecraft, with whom he struck up a correspondence through letters for a few years, shortly before Lovecraft's death. There's a book of Lovecraft's letters to Lieber called Writers in the Dark. The original intent was to publish both of their letters, but there was a problem with getting permission to use Lieber's letters, which are in Lovecraft's estate. Lovecraft went to great lengths about the importance of knowing history accurately, and praised Lieber for his knowledge of it. In fact the first of the Fafhrd and Mouser stories to get published was not set in Lankhmar, but on Earth in a very particular period and place (I forget exactly where/when), and it recieved a new beginning for the Lankhmar series when those were first collected in paperback form, saying that Fafhrd and his little friend went through a maze of caverns and spoke to a wizard named Ningauble of the Seven Eyes, whose caves connect up different worlds and times. So for this one adventure they were firmly in our historical world. But for the rest of the series they retreated back to their own world of Nehwon (No-when spelled backwards)—a very fanciful place filled with wizards and magic. In those days there was a primitive form of internet whereby writers would correspond through letters and send each other unpublished manuscripts. In fact they would have groups, so several authors would all be able to read the manuscripts before they got published. Lovecraft belonged to such a group, and brought Lieber into it as well. In fact Lovecraft was responsible for Lieber getting published in the first place. He sort of lobbied for him to various publishers of weird fiction until one of them gave him a shot.
