This problem has been going on for a while in that I struggle to read/edit my own work because it just sounds terrible. Every word makes me cringe. I don't know if this is an instinct telling me it is pretty bad and my overall writing needs a lot more work or my inner critic going into over drive. Even if I leave a piece months, write something else and come back to it I still cringe and can't read it. I've tried re-drafting and I still don't like it. I don't hate it while I'm writing it. I need to be able to read my own work in order to edit it. I used to be able to post work without concern but lately I don't want other's to read it either. I'm not scared of what they'll say needs improving, I'm very thick skinned. I don't know why I'm having this problem. I don't know if it's in my head and something to pay attention to. Someone must have suffered the same problem. Any advice? Thanks for your time x
The only advice I can offer is to push through the cringe and do it anyway. It really is the only way. Force yourself to sit down and edit what you have, with the goal of making it just a little bit better than it was before. Then edit it again with the same goal, and again, and again (with breaks in between if necessary) until it stops making you cringe quite so much.
I've felt that many times. I'll read through whatever I thought was brilliant yesterday and think, "Who am I kidding?" I think it's natural. It means you have standards. I would focus on your revision abilities. Can you fix obvious drek? Can you take a disaster paragraph from another writer and correct it so that it's still in the writer's voice, or your own? How about your author-idol? Can you imitate their style and put it in that paragraph? Try to, and once you're done, really ask yourself: What are they doing that I'm not? Then take your own troubled paragraph, break it apart so that each sentence has a different line, and see if you can spot anything horrible. What would your idol have changed? The key thing is to find a precise aspect that you find honestly lacking. You need to define it. You don't want to just feel that the writing as a whole is bad. You need to be able to say the dialog's weak, or the flow is bad, or the structures are clunky, the description is forced, etc. Then find master works (in your genre) that exemplify the proper technique and just blatantly rip them off. It's only practice. Take whatever tricks they have. Paste them in Word and delete phrases. Fill them in like Mad Libs. Try to make something new. Why does it hold together better than your own work? I'm reminded of Raymond Chandler who copied the Perry Mason novels scene for scene, matching each section's length and purpose. He recognized what he was missing, knew who could actually do it correctly, and so he swiped the layout. Eventually those secrets became a part of his style. (I've told this story too many times. Pretend you didn't read it again if you're sick of it.)
My advice is revise revise revise. Then, after revising, revise again. Do it until it sounds smooth and natural.
Congratulations, CL. You've reached the point of discernment in terms of your own writing. That is a huge step forward. How about you just keep writing and for a while just don't worry too much about what you've already written? I've written a lot of stuff that is truly bleh and some stuff that is truly good. I learned to let the truly bleh go by regarding it as valuable practice and not trying to polish it into something worth sharing with others or even rereading myself. Last year, I abandoned a novel on which I had spent considerable time and effort. I took it out after several years of putting it aside, began working on it, and insight! I hated the thing. It was boring. Yay! Freedom to abandon the project granted, and I've written happily ever after.
I've heard this called the struggle between the eye and the hand. Your eye is your ability to see how good or bad your work is, and your hand is your ability to do the work. These develop in a sort of stair-step progression—first your eye improves, which makes you able to see clearly any imperfections in your work. This part can be depressing, but it's followed shortly by the development of your hand, meaning your work improves. Then a little later your eye will improve some more, and the whole process ratchets on.
Yeah, my work can make me cringe and in fact it can make me wonder if I'm working backwards. I've started a new novella and it sounds rougher than things I wrote eight years ago. But if I'm truly honest with myself I know some works are rougher than others, some take a while before I can grab that tone/style that I want and it might take multiple drafts until I can be satisfied with what I wrote. There are some things though I've abandoned totally. One novel of mine (Crimson Waters) I found to be uneditable. It was too dense, too repetitive, and the sinister plot too subtle that my idea far surpassed what's on paper. If I ever decide to go back to that story I'll probably start fresh. I agree with Seven Crows on find out what's turning you off. For me it's usually maintaining a tone thing. If I can get find the right tone - word choice, attitude of my characters, angle of sentences, my writing goes much smoother. But for others it might be something else - pace, character, character motivation, the flow or rhythm of dialogue etc. Once you discover what's irking you it's much easier to tackle that then to feel it's everything. Also know that edits/revision/rewriting can fix almost anything. It might feel like junk now but revision works. One thing that perks me up is looking at James Joyce's draft for Ulysses - he looks like he reworked and rethought every word - twice.
How are you judging your writing? Sometimes repositioning your perspective helps. Look at your oldest work and read your latest, taking note of all the improvements you've made over the years (or months depending on how long you've been writing). Sometimes we get stuck in the moment and forget our judgement is relative. Introduce that relative perspective and you'll eventually learn to appreciate your own efforts again. Never judge your own ability by comparing to other writers.
No! It's one of the worse books I've read in my life. I'll never get those months back. Looks like he wasted his time, too, as it comes to this particular reader.