Hey all. I'd like your thoughts and suggestions on a new mc for a new story I've begun. This story is set in 1880 in an alternate universe where the American South won the Civil War. Name: Thomas Bee Kemper Age: 19 Birthday: July 21, 1861 Nationality: Confederate. Home: Malvern, Arkansas Occupation: Farmer, lives at home still Now, here is where the character becomes more..... interesting and intense. He is an abuse victim. He was born out of rape and his mom, with this stigma, ended up marrying a man who is an abusive alcholic. There is a backstory on how the law did step in at one point (which did happen back in olden times if the community became aware, there are stories of wife-beaters being lynched) this only intensified the abuse as the local judge didn't feel comfortable jailing the main supporter of this mother and child. Thomas sports at least one permanent scar from his father. He dreams of one day standing up to his abuser, but like his mother, he's been cowed by the physical, verbal and emotional abuse. He blames himself if he gets beaten, believing it's his fault. The twist is that he actually is courting and will become married to the daughter of a local rich landowner who is willing to go up the money to be with him. He will eventually escape the situation he's in but I fully intend to write him as realistically as possible. Terrified of becoming his step-father, having PTSD, using his relationship as a desperate attempt to have some love in his life. He'll suffer headaches and he may become suicidal at one point. My goal is for him to be the mc of a full trilogy with the end if his character arc being able to return home, stand up to his step-father and free his mother. I have talked about this character to people on a Civil War message board I visit and they are all for my tackling the character. Especially since I'm actually going to try depicting how childhood abuse messes with the survivor for years after, perhaps never escaping and finding peace. So, what are your guys' thoughts on the character and how do I best write him in a way that the reader is actively rooting for his progression beyond feeling obligated because he's the main character?
I like some of what you've done so far but the truth is, to me, an abusive backstory isn't that interesting, or at least not as interesting as how this childhood affects him now. All the lies this treatment has installed in him and how, even subconsciously, these events run his life. Those psychological scars can constantly impact his life and make him his own worst enemy. Your character needs a goal to achieve, but often the want is far more interesting. And it's even more interesting when the want to is the opposite of what the character believes. So a character wants love but believes he/she is unlovable. That creates conflict. Conflicts is a driving force in your story. I think your on the correct path but this character is still undeveloped and not as interesting as he could be. Characters often come to life on the page. Make him relatable. Gives him flaws and show the cause of those flaws. Makes those flaws be a problem for him.
I'm not sure why people look for approval for their characters. The reality is is that we can't say how a character is and their ultimate impact, until you actually have a story to put him in. So far you just have an idea and ideas are very low resolution. I can't make a judgement of good or bad just on that. As Oscar Wilde once said, there's no such thing as an immoral story. Stories are either well written or poorly written. That is all. So yes, you can have this sound idea, but if the story is poorly written, then all your work is for nothing. So, quit asking permission and get writing.
I'm not asking permission. I have self-published many books before. This was simply to see if there were any thoughts on how to improve this particular character. So, to paraphrase you: quite being high-horsed.
To paraphrase, no one knows until you actually start writing the story. So, YOU quit being so high horsed. How your character will come off, depends more how he's played out in the context of the story then it is in a vague character profile. That's really where how well you understand the subject matter will be handled. Your profile doesn't carry how he talks to other people. It doesn't tell me how he treats them. It doesn't tell me if his language is crass or vulgar. It doesn't tell me any significant vices of his. And you might call this high horsed, but let me tell you the real truth: sometimes all a reader needs to make you root for a character, is just make them a good person. That's it.
True, everything changes once you get further into a story and the character starts developing and reacting to what's going on in story. Now, I thought you were still going after me for asking people's opinions on this character when I saw tbe notification. Which that's how the original post reads, that somehow I lacked the resolve to write unless I got tacitly permission to do so. Thus why I responded in kind. But I see that you are offering more valid thoughts on character creation as a whole. Truce? Edit: I see you keep editing your post. It's the way the initial response was worded that made it look both high-horsed and resulted in a response in kind.
I'm just going to ignore you. You don't want to hear advise from me obviously. EDIT: I love how you can't take responsibility for name calling.
Let me get this straight: -You come into my thread and get after me for "asking permission" when I was simply asking on if there was anything to improve my character. -I respond in kind and I'm the bad guy. -Then when I agree with what you are saying and try to resolve it amicably, you get mad, keep telling me to go away and I'm won't accept what you are saying? Yeah.....you've got issues.
Was going to respond earlier, but got busy and when I went to respond, got into a really weird heater argument with someone about this topic. But I like the idea you pose that there needs to be some goal that he is striving towards. His current goal is simply to buy an engagement ring and gain her father's blessing to marry his daughter. But beyond that and his eventual return to settle his score with his abuser, there's not too much in the way of goals as of yet.
There needs to be conflict and that comes from a characters goal, this is normally something they know they want. What can help is figuring out a characters need. So in your characters case his goal might be vengeance against his abuser when what he really needs is to come with terms with it and see it wasn't his fault. Then you make the want behind that goal the driving force. He must sacrifice or be prepared to sacrifice things to achieve this goal. So he loves this girl and and wants to gain her father's approval. He also wants vengeance. How could those to goals conflict? How could his obsession with vengeance get in the way of him getting the approval of this man? Make him have to make choices. He chooses badly say and achieves his goal of vengeance but has to let the woman he loves go - his ultimate sacrifice. But he feels no different because his need has not been met. Instead he's alone and heart-broken. Now he can either accept this fate or not and try to make better choices and win her back. That sort of thing is how you develop a character and their goal. The goal can change as your character grows but his need remains the same. Edit: Kallisto has made some very good points about how it's hard to give feedback on a character profile without seeing them in action, although I don't think you were asking permission just asking for character creation help which is very different. Some people can write a character knowing very little about them others can't. Best of luck and I hope something I said was useful.
:kitty: @Kallisto, @Harms88 knock it off, both of you. I'm too busy to parse this all out, but the next flareup comes with points.
It's been resolved. I tried to resolve it peacefully but we ended up having to mutually blocking each other.
Mod hat on here. I echo Iain's stance (although my owl wings prevent the stick and shield.) Starting and/or participating in you did/I didn't/you are/I'm not exchanges is not permitted on the forum any more. Too many perfectly good threads (like this one) went toxic in the past and had to be shut down, because of this kind of behaviour. If you see sparks turning into flames, walk away AND/or report it to us. The minute the word 'you' enters a bad-tempered exchange, that's when trouble begins. If you have something to say that disagrees with another person's remarks ...depersonalise it. Attack the opinion, NOT the person who gave it.
