What can I do to motivate my main character more?

In an early section of the plot, I find the main character's motivation be kind of weak, and I was told so as well.

In order for the plot to go where I want it to go, the main character who is a cop, has to be protecting a witness in a crime case, a witness who knows too much.

The police cannot give her 24 hour protection, since the police do not have that kind of resources for that long, as oppose to just putting the witness up in a hotel. I want the main character to protect her without being assigned to it. So he is not being paid, but just going to do it anyway, cause he doesn't want to see harm come to her, but it also may be an hour opportunity to call for back up and catch the crooks, if they should find her as well.

So I want him to go out of his way and do it, even though he is not assigned this job, but was told his motivation is kind of flimsy, since in real life, innocent people need protecting all the time, and the police are not going to volunteer and do it, of course. So I thought of 3 possible scenarios to motivate him more:

1. The villains break into her house and she calls 911. The main character gets the call, drives over saves her and helps her escape, and this causes him to go above and beyond to protect her, after the near possible death experience of both of them now. However, I was told by others that the villains wouldn't break in and try to kill her but instead just phone her with death threats to shut her up, or come to her door and bribe her not to talk. They wouldn't break in with the intention of murder at this point, as that's too risky, cause now they would have a murder on their hands. So this one may not work therefore.

2. She fears for her safety, and fakes a break in to her place and calls 911, and this causes the main character to drive over. When he arrives, she says they left when they heard him coming, even though she faked it, hoping this would cause the police to guard her, in which case it compel the main character to.

3. The main character could be assigned to protect her. However, this causes problems in the plot as well, cause I want to so that when he is with her, he does some things like choose to investigate and look into things, which he wouldn't do if he was officially assigned as protection.

So I want him and her to be together for the plot onwards, but also he has to do some things that he wouldn't be doing if it was official paid protection. Do any of the these 3 sound like they could work possibly, or do I need to come up with something else to motivate him?

 

Give them backstories! This is the fun stuff I daydream all the time when I write. Maybe he thinks the bad guy is someone he knew; maybe she reminds him of his dead wife; maybe he hates his boss for the indifferent; maybe she is kind of crazy but a loving daughter. Go wild and be imaginative and have fun!
By the way, of the three reasons you mentioned, I like the second one the most.
Give him a reason to care. And sometimes the more personal the reason the better.

 

Oh okay, thanks. Well I didn't want to come up with too much backstory though, because the guy is suppose to be an everyman type, caught up in an extraordinary situation, but if I give him a backstory with possible tragedy in it, then he is not really an everyman so much, is he?

I asked a couple of other people and you are the first one so far to say the second one is the best, cause others felt like she was way overreacting and being unreasonable by breaking into her place. Does it make her look that way?

 

Oh okay. The first one was my first idea, however, some people told me that if the main character cop leaves, and she is all alone, then the villains would not break in and there would be no physical struggle. They would just threaten her or bribe her if she was alone. But they wouldn't try to kill her, causing her to call 911.

They would only break in and try to kill her, if they saw that a cop was already protecting her, and therefore, a bribe or threat is not possible with them there. Did the readers have a point and they wouldn't break in and attack if she is alone?

For the second one, yes is deceptive and this plays into the plot later on. But I didn't want the reader to necessarily know she was deceptive, because I wanted to save that for later. So if she fakes a break in and makes a fake 911 call, would this give away too much, too soon, I wonder... Or maybe that's good to do that, cause it gives the reader more to chew on maybe?

 

Why not she's beautiful and add some sexual tension? Or the guy that is after her is someone this cop has been after for a long time and she's finally the right bait.
The faking the break in sounds interesting cause if you play it right you could cast doubt on her story for the reader.

 

Does it make her look that way?
Maybe just a little. But I think I like that she's overreacting because it shows me just how much she fears for her life. I guess this is a matter of personal taste, and everyone has their favorite, but what's important is how you the writer feel how about it. Which situation give you the strongest sympathy? Trust your own emotion scale!

if I give him a backstory with possible tragedy in it, then he is not really an everyman so much, is he?
I get what you mean, backstory makes it sound much more serious. But thing is, the reason doesn't have to be complicated or tragedy. Maybe he falls in love with her in the first sign; maybe he just wants to be the guy who acts differently, and you just need to hint at the why.

A detective story could go dark as The Mentalist, or light as Phych, or sad as Monk. If you read agatha, a lot of her standalone books are featuring ordinary people, and they work pretty great without a geniu like poirot or miss marple. The choices are endless and it is really up to you to decide which way your work goes.

 

Oh okay thanks. Well I don't think that a backstory would work for this character for this type of story without it being kind forced maybe... Does the backstory have to come back later or play a larger part, or can it just be for this on motivation and that's it?

 

I think it can, but it's hard to say without knowing what you have in mind. It kinda depends on what the backstory is. And I just want to say that it doesn't have to be a backstory, just something that pushes them together.

 

Oh okay, yeah for sure. I'm thinking of different things... One thing that gets me thinking though, do you think what the one reader said was correct though, that they wouldn't break in and attack her, unless she already had police protection; and that if she were alone, they would just try to bribe her and threaten her instead?

Oh well actually, I wasn't planning on having the cop and witness getting together romantically at all though. I want them to stick together for a section of the story, cause the cop is interested in getting further ahead in the case, but not actually get romantic.

 

I think its the motive of the villains that is lacking more than that of the main character. You/beta reader said the gang wouldn't risk having a murder on their hands. Well, what if someone influential was a part of the group? Someone who would risk everything to avoid exposure. Some of the best thrillers have higher/equal stakes for the antagonist when compared to the protag. As for the hero, he could simply care about her. Maybe he has a sister or daughter who's the same age. It can be as simple as that; it's not unreasonable to want to protect people and do the right thing.

Further, maybe she's not the first witness. Perhaps, on the very night of the attack, our hero is perusing dusty old files and finds a pattern: "suicides" just prior to trials involving similar cases. There's no time to call on the force! They wouldn't believe him anyway since he's got a rep. of only being a few theories away from Alex Jones level detective work. He rushes to her home, coming on the scene right before the hubbub. Nothing. It was just another dumb hunch. He's about to leave. But wait! Men wearing ski masks approach, staging implements in hand...

 

To be honest, I don't follow the logic of said reader. If they are going to attack someone, why would they wait until there's a cop? Of course, they might try bribes and threats first. But if she gives in, then there wouldn't be a story to tell, right? I hope this makes sense.

 

Oh I didn't mean to imply they would wait till there is a cop. What I meant was is that if there is no cop, and she is alone, the villains would just threaten her or bribe her, and then leave, and there would be no break in or attack, cause she has been taken care of with threats and bribery. Is this true, or does that make sense?

 

Yeah, sounds about right.

 

Okay then, so in order for the villains to break in and attack, which is what I want, then I have to have the cop already there, watching her then, for them to provoked into breaking in, is that right? Which means that the first option, out of the three, will not work then?

 

As for the cop's motivations: couldn't he already know her? She could be a relative, friend or ex, and all of those provide reason for him to go above and beyond while not leaving you having to explain why he doesn't do this for every case that he hears of.

 

Oh it's just that if it were someone he knows, I thought it would be too much of a coincidence perhaps. Also, he wouldn't be allowed to involved on a case of a friend or relative, or ex, cause then it would be a conflict of interest, wouldn't it?

 

People who know police officers are as likely as anybody else to be a victim of crime, so I don't think it would be seen as a coincidence. And yes, he wouldn't be able to be part of the official case, but I thought he was doing this on his own time.

 

Oh okay I just felt it would come off as too much of a coincidence, cause main character cop already knows someone else in the case though. So if it turned out that he knew two people, that are completely unconnected to each other, than wouldn't that be a coincidence in the sense, that knowing one is okay, but is two, too much then?