Create titles for stories that do not exist. And if you've got the energy, describe the story with a short text. The Glassening of the Bluest Fields High energy bombs are dropped on an alien planet's agricultural fields. Dance of the Disc Jockey Autumn McMillion, a radio show host, does her final appearance. Dreaded Dreams Horror tale where someone's nightmares become reality.
Karma Cleaners A high-tech instrument is bought and sold, typically to the wealthiest of society. It's used to clean up one's bad karma.
Neat idea. Blossoming Cherries Set against the rise of the daimyo class, at the beginnings of feudal Japan, Kichimo Hoiri attempts to defend his village against marauding samurai. I'll Give You A Pizza My Mind After baker Raffaele Esposito, from the Naples region, creates the first modern pizza, imitators try to steal his thunder. Raffaele is not impressed, and a feud erupts. (Genius note: Signore Esposito is indeed credited with creating the first modern pizza. The word "modern" is important, since there is considerable debate about who created "the first pizza", period, and when, and where). Tulip Maniacs Aäron de Vroom, a spice merchant from the port of Brouwershaven (a small city on the Grevelingen, in the Dutch province of Zeeland), observes the beginnings of the tulip craze. He laments the idiocy of his Dutch brothers, and tries to warn them it will end badly. Some listen and some don't. One tulip merchant, jealous of de Vroom's relative success, tries to accuse him of being in league with the devil. How else could de Vroom claim to foresee this? When the tulip market collapses, the accusations gain force. Aäron de Vroom must now refute the charges, before some of the more credulous populace decide to prosecute him and drive him out of town! (The tulip craze in Renaissance Netherlands is, of course, real. As for the rest, I made it up)
The Never-Ending Question A 20s-something aunt juggling two part-time jobs post college graduation and questioning her future, is suddenly thrust into the role of surrogate mother when her divorced sister decides she needs go on a holistic retreat and drops her five-year-old on her doorstep. Alice's days are suddenly filled with trying to explain a complicated world to a complicated little girl and making sense of her own life in the process. The Pursuit of Quiet John Dawyer, the reclusive CEO of a successful tech startup, misses his connecting flight to New York. For five months, his disappearance goes unnoticed as an AI decoy manages to fool not only his employees, but the world. His estranged half-brother, who helped found the company also mysteriously disappears after leaving a Post-It Note, writing "I just want some peace and quiet." Detective Bryan Fowler is assigned the cold case years later as he nears retirement. He plans to leave it in the freezer when a mysterious chatbot starts messaging him what seems to be clues to their disappearance.
Bringing Up Daisies The autobiography of a wearied 1920s-30s nanny, whose many upper-crust and upper-class female charges over the years were all named after flowers - Rose, Lily, Iris, Ivy, Amaryllis, Heather, Jasmine, Daisy (of course), and so on. And they were all delightful gels, of course -- charming to a tee, generous to the help (including our nanny), members of the local horsey club, perhaps not overly intelligent but who is these days ...? ... and oh, so, so very sociable when meeting each other. "Dah-ling! You look simply wonderful! You really must come over for tea. Let me introduce my husband, Alfred Royce-Manningham, of the Devonshire Manninghams ..." Upon which the other would reply, in clipped tones reminiscent of the BBC, "How perfectly delightful to meet you, Mr Manningham. Let me introduce you to my husband, Baron Folderol. Very old family. Came over with The Conqueror, you know ..." And it would be all very stiff and formal "Ah, Mr ... Manningham, was it not? A pleasure to meet you. How d'you do", and handing 'round of tea in a cup that probably cost the equivalent of 25% of our nanny's salary, and very little cucumber sandwiches, and making talk even smaller than the sandwiches. The husbands, of course, would all be dressed in immaculate but almost identical grey suits, white shirts, blue or red ties, and a little pocket square peeking from a pocket, like a mouse too afraid to come out of its hole. They would all talk of the same things: shooting grouse or fox in the Shires, making a big score in the stock market, or "I say! How about a game of bridge?" And they would all be named David, George, Geoffrey, or Ian. Our nanny's name for them was Interchangeable Ians. The point of all this, our weary (and retired) nanny stresses, is that if these female charges had been called -- say -- Honeysuckle, or Rhododendron, things might have turned out considerably differently. Perhaps more invasive. And with greener thumbs. (I'm so sorry. Once I started writing this, I couldn't stop)
Deafen The Heavens A man screams at an indifferent sky, but if there is a God up there, he's probably got his headphones on. Will his prayers be answered or is he doomed to be a Neitzschean abyss-shouter? Vapour Dinousaur A boy reads Carl Sagan and becomes obsessed with the idea of a dragon that takes up zero space yet exists nonetheless. Nature's Purity An isolated country is threatened by unrest when the citizens start drinking a powerful tea brought in by a stranger
Bingo Stealth - An action-thriller in which sprightly grannies who play Bingo save the world from the dastardly Dabber, who wants to rub everyone out.
Blue Hair Bomb Aging grandparents in a assisted living apartment decide to get even with a local gang by picking one of the members who is about to die to shuffle their walker in the midst of the gang and push the Semtex button. This sacrifice became admired and spread to other senior centers.
Lord of the Flies. For a bet, an upper-crust British lord exchanges places with his butler, just so he can inspect the staff and make sure that all the male servants have not forgotten to zip up their trousers. MacBet. Shakespeare goes to the races and puts a fiver on a Scottish horse. (Plus the sequel, MacDebt ... Shakespeare has to find the money to pay the bookies) Not a book, but just for fun ... Duck! Lawsuit, Duck! A song from a banned Disney movie becomes the jingle for a company that creates one of the first escalators. As the actor in the commercial reaches the top, he comments, "Boy ... that escalated quickly." He is then set upon by lawyers acting for Ron Burgundy, who emphasize the fact that only their client is allowed to use that phrase. And the commercial ends with a choir of commuters singing cheerfully, "Escala-doo-dah, Escala-hey!" (And yes, I'm older than dirt. How'd you know?) ;P
West for the Grail. With a hop, a skip, and a jump, the grail hides itself in a tray of similar-looking wooden cups being sold in a dusty bazaar, somewhere in the Middle East. A late 1930s tourist spots it and thinks it'll look marvelous on his mantlepiece at home. He asks how much, and is told, "That old thing? Yours for a desert song, effendi!" The stereotypical American tourist, complete with a loud suit and chewing gum, sings a desert song (which begins with the words "Wooden cups are hard to find - doodah, doodah; I'll buy yours, but never mind - oh, doodah, day.") The seller is impressed by this unlikely and unfamiliar (to him) song, and gives away the cup, which is stowed away on the Good Ship Homeward Bound. (Shirley Temple's nowhere to be found ...) After many more adventures, and with an orchestra welcoming the ship home to New Yawk, the grail arrives at its new home. Huzzah! Only it doesn't want to stay there. So it leaves its new owner, and heads for the nearest museum, preferably one headed by a mild-mannered archaeology professor who also owns a bullwhip and a fedora. After all, the grail reasons, it belongs in a museum ... ("Quest for the Grail")
Subsonic Sasquatch - A group of Bigfoot invents a machine that slows down the tempo of time and finds that the number of beats per minute does not define life.
The Tell-Tale Art. The murderer gives himself away by creating beautiful life-size oil paintings of how he killed the old man and hid the body.
"A Chicken Named Super Henny-Penny" This would be a children's story of a fourteen-year-old hen and her life full of adventures on the farm. Her origins are unclear, but it is thought that she is named after one of Foghorn Leghorn's hens, Henny Penny. But, you see, she is a special hen, so she is given the title "Super". Why Super? Well, it sounded like a fine title to a five-year-old. However, as the years go by, Super Henny Penny proves indeed to be super. Not only does she have a stroke at the old age of ten, she recovers quickly, learning how to walk in a straight line again. She makes sure to keep her life full, and though she is too old to lay eggs, she would lay imaginary ones, every day without fail. She roams freely throughout the farm, often with her best friend, Golden Gal, a bright yellow hen who thinks she is a turkey. The two have many adventures together, always exploring and full of mischief. When winter comes, Super Henny Penny gets the luxury of her own private nest in the boot tray of the farmhouse, and if she was supervised, she is allowed to sit with the family during meals. The twist in this story is that is is all true. Every bizzare detail. I grew up on a farm and my brother and I named Super Henny Penny when I was five. The incredible part is that when she died, it was because of an accident, not old age. Everything about her sounds so farfetched now that I think about it, but I think she would be a wonderful character in a kid's book. She had so much personality and was such a lovely hen, quiet and gentle but loved to get her beak in everything!
Robinson's Cruise. It was only supposed to be a three-hour tour. Good Bite, Moon. The story of a young woman, who - under the influence of any moon at all - becomes a crazy, dance-on-the-table, rip-off-your-sable, hard-smoking, hard-drinking, swearing-like-a-wounded-sailor maniac. (You expected her to be a werewolf, didn't you? Be honest). Her name, of course, is Clair the Loon. How could it be anything else? (Sorry, Debussy).
I Found an Egg about a man who finds an egg in his fridge, with everything else pilfered, presumed to be done by a midnight burglar who had a hankering for jelly and beans (the only other things in his fridge at the time, besides the egg). The only problem is that he did not himself put the egg in the refrigerator, so who on earth did???
Gosh. A fowl deed, was it? Don't egg me on! Some people can't take a yolk. (Sorry. But you could use some of these for the title). Goodnight, Doom. A story of a child's increasing obsession with a first-person shooter.
*bows* Thank you, thank you. I'll be here all night. All right, I'll leave your feathers alone. I'll just duck away and ... get down.
