Captain Jack

I’m thinking of a short story. I’m wrapping up my revisions on the novel and need something to write. So I had an idea bloom in my mind. I thought I’d try sort of a young person’s short story with animals instead of people. The short story will be in four parts. The main character is named Jack. These are the four parts: Jack of spades; Jack of clubs; Jack of Hearts; Jack of Clubs. In spades he will show his prejudice. In clubs he will attack an enemy. In hearts he will change his mind about the enemy. And in diamonds he will be rewarded with treasure.

Here is a small snippet. Jack of spades. This is where he shows his prejudice.

Jack scurried up to the crow’s nest. His mouse nose sniffed the air, and he caught a stronger whiff of the massive beaver, whose back soon broke the surface of the water. He saw light shining on the dark, slick fur. Finally, the animal left the water on short legs and waddled up onto the bank.

Jack’s lips curled in a smile. He looked out across the lake, the lake that was now open to him, and saw the distant sail he’d chased since dawn -- until the beaver had swam between them. He descended to the deck. “Mister Catsbane, the beaver is gone. I believe it’s time to proceed.”

The canvas fell as mice untied the sails on all three masts, which were almost as tall as the reeds that drifted past as the ship gathered speed. Jack raised an eyeglass, and the distance leapt closer. “Frogs,” he said. He’d thought as much.

“Aye, captain. They’re up to no good, being this close to the Rodent Kingdom.”

Jack watched the frogs’ ship grow. The day was nice and clear, and he could make out the amphibians crowded on the decks and in the rigging. He saw one hop along the bowsprit, that mast that pokes out at the bow. Then he noticed a mouse with a wooden leg. “Pirates, Mister Catsbane. And there are frogs and mice aboard, working together. I can’t imagine how this happened, but we must put an end to it. I’m going to drive every frog from this lake.”

Catsbane nodded. “You’re well on your way to it. You’re a dangerous mouse, Captain. Aye, the best mouse in the Navy.”

“I do my duty.”


Anyone think it is a good idea?