Flow

“All that we are is a result of what we have thought. The mind is everything. What we think, we become.” –Buddha

Ever since I first learned how to write, I have kept a journal. The first journal I ever kept, consisted of pictures. I told the story of my life with colored pencils and crayons. Never markers, they smudge too much and cause my fingertips to turn colors. I crammed my most important thoughts onto five by seven sheets of blue paper, that had hard covers on both the front and back and even an awesome small gold key to go along with it. I made the key into a necklace, stringing it around my neck with pride, and wore it everyday.

As I got older, my journal changed with me. From black composition notebooks like Harriet the Spy to plain one subject Five Star notebooks with a homemade collage glued on the front. My journals were both a journal and a scrapbook, because I love to collect memories, so I can always hold them at an arm’s length—to grab at a moment of insecurity or fear, or when I had something important to say and no one to say it to.

I liked to keep to myself, because I didn’t want people to know me. Because once they did, they automatically had the power to hurt me. So I only allowed myself to be… me, on these sheets of paper.

With each journal I have kept, I have written my life down. It is within the pages of each notebook, that I allow all that I am to be written. It is because of these pages in a notebook that are so meaningless to other people that I have sort of, found out who I am. It is the only time I don’t have to walk on eggshells, or be afraid that I’m going offend someone, or have the fear of sounding naïve when stating my beliefs…

It is with each journal entry, that I allow myself to flow. Once my pen hits the paper, I am gone, into a world where I can say anything and everything. I’m so focused on what I’m writing that time passes me by. I’m in control of what is written next, and it’s nice to know that for once, I have the power to say anything.

That is my experience with the term flow. Everyday, flow consists in my life… because I allow myself to be taken onto the pages of a notebook where I don’t think about anything else, except what I need to say next.

I’m just “in the zone.”

“If the desire to write is not accompanied by the actual writing, the desire must not be to write.” –Hugh Prather