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  1. Kayne
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    Kayne New Member

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    Broken ProM1C3(stuck)

    Discussion in 'Plot Development' started by Kayne, May 22, 2009.

    for years I've had this idea of a sci-fi story in which a little girl grows up protected by an android of sorts, I know how to end it but starting is the trouble and how to make the android evolve emotionally in such away people become attached to him as a character.

    I was thinking of writing it through the machine's eyes but that'd seem detached bu it'd be perfect for showing the change problem is it could get boring and bit too analytical. then I thought the girl but I'm not that great on writing 1st person for female characters.

    I was thinking going third person but it still seems detached.

    the closest I came to starting it was a kind of reminice moment somebody leafing through a photo album talking about the android in question which I decided long ago the name would be Promice or ProM1C3 (prototype Military-version#1 Combat-level#3) the reason they'd be leafing through the album was because I intended to kill him off at the end in a heroic-or heartbreaking manner, but I just can't seem to get the process right without it feeling somewhat out of place
    any help suggestions???
     
  2. Marcelo
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    Marcelo Contributing Member

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    You can write in 1st and 3rd person. For example, most of the story can be from the girl's POV, but in 3rd person. Some chapters can be from the machine's POV, in 1st person (this would show us how the machine sees everything, understanding it better).
     
  3. TheNewGuy
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    TheNewGuy Senior Member

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    That sounds like a way too cliche way to begin your story; I'm sorry.

    You don't put characters in a room together and make them talk about the glory days. Sounds a little like the Princess Bride (a great movie), but much lazier.

    However, starting the story at a place where a character is thinking about the android when they have to make a hard, climactic decision might be a little more interesting to the reader than a bunch of people looking at some pictures.

    Also, perhaps it is not the android changing, but the people who become emotionally affected by it because it is what it always is, and they are the ones changing?

    Just a thought. Keep thinking. :D
     
  4. arron89
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    arron89 Banned

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    I don't think there's anything wrong with telling it from the androids perspective. In fact I'm pretty sure that would be the only way you could interest me in that story.

    At the moment, this sounds sorta like bicentennial man, which was a nice movie cuz it wasn't completely unbelievable and cliched. So yeah, write from the robotsperspective, make it cold and analytical, let us develop through him.
     
  5. Rei
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    Rei Contributing Member Contributor

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    If telling a story from an android's perspective was boring, there would be fewer episodes of Star Trek that involved Data observing humans.
     
  6. JavaMan
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    JavaMan Senior Member

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    Young girl and an analytical man - it happens all the time in real life. Your mistake is thinking that that the analytical man should be boring, predictable. He should be resourceful, pragmatic, instead. Often, the young (coming of age) women/teens fall for someone who is of such as mentioned.

    Let me take another route. Anyone who knows anything at all about the sociological science would tell you that older, richer, established men often prefer, and have better success with younger, more (within the same principle sense) attractive women. A look in any "People" magazine will tell you the same!

    To keep the purity of the love - or whateva! ;) - let the guy stay alive, but just go away for some reason.

    Just my op'!
     

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