1. Paki-Writing
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    Paki-Writing Member

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    child sexual harassment

    Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Paki-Writing, Jul 4, 2009.

    There was an article in the New York Times the spoke of sexual harassment kids face from other peers. For example, girls having their breasts grabbed. The article is here: <link removed>

    Do you think something should be done about it, or should the children just accept it as a part of school life?
     
  2. SonnehLee
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    SonnehLee Contributing Member Contributor

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    Cog is going to come in here and tell you to at least summarize the article better than that...just saying...
     
  3. hiddennovelist
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    hiddennovelist Contributing Member Contributor

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    ^That he is.

    And I think that sexual harassment isn't something that should be ignored or accepted as a part of life in any forum, whether it be school, work, or anywhere else. People shouldn't have to just deal with something like that happening.
     
  4. fantasy girl
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    fantasy girl Contributing Member

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    if you have been have been sexually harrased and bullied all the way through your high school life, I think, if you see it from the victims point of view somwthing should be done about it. It might just be a bit of fun for some people but for others it can be really hurtfull.
     
  5. Unit7
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    Unit7 Contributing Member Contributor

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    I despise the very idea of allowing it be considered acceptable. You do this sort of thing in the work place and you can bet your ass you will have a law suit to deal with. Sexual harrasment should not be tolerated ANYWHERE.

    How on earth could this even be considered OK? Look I understand that these people may not fully comprehend what they are doing, but that doesn't give them a free pass. How else are they going to learn? By allowing them to slide gives them this notion that its acceptable. Which they will carry on when they graduate.
     
  6. Gallowglass
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    Gallowglass Contributing Member Contributor

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    It's not part of school life. I've never seen it, anyway. Never heard of it, either. Then again, I'm not American. It might be common over there, in which case a lot of laws that deal with things like this need to be changed.
     
  7. Hsnodgrass
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    Hsnodgrass Senior Member

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    Can we just call an open season on the douche bags who perpetrate stuff like this? I would honestly lump shooting someone who sexually harasses someone else into Darwinism. It goes against the grain of decency which is an essential part of our culture which, in turn, is an essential part of our livelihood. Bit extreme of an example yes, but it gets my feelings on the matter out in the open. I'm also slightly drunk.
     
  8. Ashleigh
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    Ashleigh Contributing Member Contributor

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    I used to have a lot of what you might call 'sexual harrassment' in school (though I guess it depends on what you define as being sexual harrassment), mostly in ages between 12-14, and after that people grew up a bit, and stopped commenting on girls developing and instead just made sexual comments in general during classtime, such us shouting out vulgar things and blowing up condoms and sending them round the class, etc. ( I know, eew).

    I had -

    - My bottom pinched
    - My bottom slapped
    - My breasts poked and prodded
    - My bra strap pinched so it came undone
    - It announced in the class by a boy that 'Ashleigh has the biggest t!ts in the school'.
    - Rumours sent round that I'd had breast implants, because all the other girls were still flat up and down as ironing boards, and I was a size C in just year 7 (11 years old) and my body developed shape very quickly.
    - rumours that I was sexually active at the age of 12, just because my body looked womanly very early on.
    - other sexual comments, especially when I got my first boyfriend - vulgar questions about 'how far' we'd gone (which they went into specifics about, very grotesquely) and more rumours.


    The list goes on really. It DOES happen in schools, an awful lot. Kids aren't mature about sex and growing bodies - it's more fun to embarrass other people than have others be aware that they themselves haven't grown yet. Especially with boys.

    I think there should be something done about the more bullying side of it, but otherwise, I guess you could say it teaches young people (girls especially) to stick up for themselves and handle gross comments like that, which they will inevitably experience in later life. On the other hand, it could make alot of girls and boys very shy about their sexuality, and effect them in ways that cause them to be a recluse in school and later life, for fear of somebody sexually harrassing them.
     
  9. Henry The Purple
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    Henry The Purple Active Member

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    ^^nasty! Schools really are the killing grounds...

    Sexual harassment is unacceptable at ANY age imo, even young children who probably don't fully comprehend what they are doing. If you allow a child to get away with it just because he/she 'doesn't know any better', then there's a greater chance that they will persevere with the behaviour into their teen years.
     
  10. Banzai
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    Banzai One-time Mod, but on the road to recovery Contributor

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    As with every thread dealing with controversial subjects, this one will be closely watched. As long as everyone remains respectful toward everyone else's beliefs, the thread may continue.

    ***FAIR WARNING!**** In the past, we have simply closed the thread when it gets too heated. This time, whoever takes it to the point that requires it to be closed will also be subject to an infraction.

    We have had a very poor track record with contraversial threads in the past, and this is why we will follow a zero-tolerance policy on this one.

    So please keep the tone respectful at all times.
     
  11. Neha
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    Neha Beyond Infinity. Contributor

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    Sexual harassment is one of the worst diseases of society. To tolerate it, makes the victim at fault too. At ANY level.


    We don't really have sexual harassment in school as such. I know for a fact that the boys are afraid of "harassing" any girl, because they're afraid the whole gang of girls would call them out.

    *shrug*
     
  12. Lavarian
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    Lavarian Contributing Member Contributor

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    I sincerely hope that's not the only reason.
     
  13. Neha
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    Neha Beyond Infinity. Contributor

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    well that's the reason I know for sure.
     
  14. hiddennovelist
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    hiddennovelist Contributing Member Contributor

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    Not necessarily...I've worked at one job where I turned someone in for sexual harassment and they were actually fired for it-and this was because there were several girls complaining.

    At another job, I had a guy progress from harassment to stalking, and he never got in any trouble for anything, despite me talking to managers about it over and over.

    I agree 100% with this. Even if a kid is doing something and doesn't fully realize that what he/she is doing is completely inappropriate, letting it slide because "oh, they didn't know any better" just tells the kid that it's something they can keep doing because no one is going to stop them.

    While I agree that going through that teaches young people to stick up for themselves, I don't think that anyone should have to go through something like that in order to learn about sticking up for themselves. And it's really sad that so many people do.
     
  15. Gallowglass
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    Gallowglass Contributing Member Contributor

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    It's hardly as common as that article mentioned in the OP no doubt states. No-one at my school would try it. I've never even heard about it, and I've spoken to people across the Highlands, the United Kingdom, and the world. This is actually the first time I've thought about it much.
     
  16. hiddennovelist
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    hiddennovelist Contributing Member Contributor

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    But just because some people aren't aware of it doesn't mean it doesn't happen.
     
  17. Banzai
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    Banzai One-time Mod, but on the road to recovery Contributor

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    Exactly.
     
  18. Cogito
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    Cogito Former Mod, Retired Supporter Contributor

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    I find it difficult to believe anyone would argue that children should just accept sexual harrassment.

    Sexual harrassment, and outright sexual assault, is far more common than most people believe. Until recently, the perpetrators have been secure in the knowledge that victims are afraid to speak out, Victims were often accused of "bring it on themselves", or of making it all up ("My Cedric would never even THINK of doing something like that, you lying whore!"). Even now, MALE victims are often afraid to speak up, and authorities will even assume that the male MUST have been the one who initiated it. Furthermore, an abuser preferentially selects victims he or she believes will be timid, and reinforces that by tearing down the victim's self-esteem.

    Sexual harassment and abuse flourish where everyone believes it "can't/doesn't happen here."
     
  19. Gallowglass
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    Gallowglass Contributing Member Contributor

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    I'm not saying it doesn't happen. I'm saying that it is probably nowhere near as common as any media article would make it seem, and that anyone near here who admitted doing it would get the **** kicked out of them (excuse my lack of English vocabulary ;)), probably by the person they did it to.
     
  20. Azhigher
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    Azhigher Senior Member

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    While I think everyone would generally agree that sexual harassment is a negative thing that we should try to reduce, I think it's a slippery slope trying to put a definite line in the sand about what exactly constitutes sexual harassment.

    Little kids getting kicked out of school because they kissed a girl on the cheek is ridiculous, but sadly that's what this PC culture has spawned.
     
  21. marina
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    marina Contributing Member Contributor

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    I don't think anyone's talking about a little girl getting a kiss on the cheek. That makes me think of elementary school stuff. They're talking about verbal abuse: gays being made fun of, girls being called stuff, etc.

    If a kid tells their counselor or principal about this and the school does nothing about it, I would think the school would face a possible lawsuit for their inaction--especially if it resulted in the kid refusing to go to school, or the kid trying to harm themselves because of the humiliation they've been dealing with at school.

    In 9th grade, we had Challenge Day. Not sure if any of you have participated in this program. But it basically makes kids who might potentially face abuse, as well as those who may tend to be the perpetrator of such abuse, recognize the problem and become empathetic towards each other. It also reinforces the idea that no one should have to put up with that kind of behavior.

    One thing I have to disagree with was the comment someone made above that if you are the victim of sexual harassment and you tolerate it, you're at fault too. Some people don't have the emotional or mental skills to fight against harassment. They say nothing and may seem to others to be tolerating it, but this is because they fear retribution, or they think they deserve it, or they lack the sense of self-worth to stand up against it. They are completely innocent.
     
  22. Ashleigh
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    Ashleigh Contributing Member Contributor

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    Yeah, I agree- nobody should have to put up with any kind of harrassment. However, it does happen (and it's worsening), and I can't see it stopping, unless young kids are taught some bloody manners for once from an early age. Too many kids are growing up without being taught to respect people and have manners, and atleast be polite to others. The numbers of rude, spiteful children just seem to be growing and growing...the more there are, then the more sexual harrassment we can expect to see when they're teenagers. People seem to have lost the value of respecting eachother's bodies and privacy and are passing it on to their kids.

    I think in order to stop it happening, the respect needs to be displayed to them from the moment they're able to speak independantly - i.e, toddler age. That way, the the majority will continue to grow up under the same rules as better people. (But, I think it's inevitable that there will always be people that choose to be outlaws. Some things are just out of societies control - in that case, monitoring from the schools needs to be strengthened all the more.)
     
  23. ValianceInEnd
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    ValianceInEnd Active Member

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    My god, I can't imagine kids treating one another in such ways. It really is plain disgusting the way (primarily women) they can be treated. I personally am a very hands to myself kind of guy, I never touch a girl anywhere unless it's in a friendly nature with someone I know very well (i.e. grabbing an arm to lead or hugging). I couldn't imagine anyone just walking up and grabbing an inappropriate place on purpose. It's just sickening. :mad:
     
  24. hiddennovelist
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    hiddennovelist Contributing Member Contributor

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    The problem is, though, that something as simple as that could happen and result in very negative consequences for the person who did the cheek kissing. I think that's the point he was trying to make...of course, sexual harassment is terrible, especially when the person experiencing it is in a situation where nothing is being done to put a stop to it. On the flip side, though, there are people who will take advantage of serious policies against sexual harassment and get someone in serious trouble who really doesn't deserve it.
     
  25. marina
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    marina Contributing Member Contributor

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    Hm, I see your point. Perhaps, though, as Ashleigh said, the respect needs to be taught at an early age. So maybe a small disciplinary action in elementary school for inappropriate behavior is appropriate. As for someone taking advantage of policies to get someone in serious trouble who doesn't deserve it, I'm thinking you're talking about someone lying about being harassed. I would think action could not be taken against someone without sufficient proof--or else the school could possibly be subject to a lawsuit by the person; he could claim he was wrongfully accused and suffered by the action taken by the school.
     

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