Hi all, I'm in the middle of polishing Not Pink having finally finished the fleshed out version. Comma's are giving me issues and I have a few sentences that I'm hoping someone can either okay or point out what's wrong. The tense is present tense, first person pov - As he rises, I dip down, taking his place. She smiles again and hurries to pick up, not only, the missed pieces but to triumphantly hold up the ones I didn't spot. Loren hangs off Max’s arm, weighing down his swing He didn’t bother cleaning me, just tugged me to the police station. Thumbing the bills, he mumbles under his breath things like (,?) 'I don't need this now.'