1. mammamaia
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    mammamaia nit-picker-in-chief Contributor

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    days of future passed: 2 YOOLGAR

    Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by mammamaia, Jan 21, 2012.

    as for why romney scares the bleep outa me, it's not only his total break with reality on the issue of making a living, but also because of what any of those gop yohos'd do to the rest of us if they got anywhere nearer to 1600 PA Ave, than in a tour group following a cute young chick around the velvet ropes... here's the nightmare i've been having about the RNC chairman's annual address a couple of years hence:


    2 YOOLGAR*

    by maïa

    Ah, the sweet “right”ness of it all!
    Give thanks to God who caused the fall
    of the Evil Left who’d bereft us of good
    and righteous ways, that not crushed would
    have damned us to Satan’s protocol.

    Praise our blessed Lords Newt and Mitt,
    who, to their eternal benefit,
    joined their might to save our souls
    and lives so endangered by the trolls
    who to lead our land were so unfit.

    So fair of skin and whitest of heart
    are our leaders now, that no upstart
    of darker hue inside or out
    will dare again to think about
    upsetting our Aryan applecart.

    And now, since all you born-again folk
    had cast off that darkie’s leftist yoke,
    we enjoy a welcome renaissance,
    from that Democratic insouciance
    that nearly dealt our God’s death stroke.

    Isn’t it great that today we can
    impose a total abortion ban
    on all the sluts who’d love to kill,
    claiming rape against their will,
    by Daddy or a delivery man?

    And that we don’t have to cater to
    those wailing women and children who
    can’t accept their earned punishment
    for not obeying and won’t repent
    for all the misbehaving they do?

    It’s also God’s gift to us that we
    can make our faith de rigueur, finally,
    so no false god-worshipping ones,
    who’d wanted to take away our guns
    can go on preaching such heresy.


    Another thing to be thankful for
    is that we can go on waging war,
    now that all peaceniks are safe in jail
    with no more right to be allowed bail,
    thanks to our new Homeland Treason Corps.

    We also shouldn’t forget to thank
    our benefactors, the New World Bank,
    whose restructure of our finance laws
    so advanced our most noble cause,
    that our billionaires’ tax bills shrank.

    In addition to every other boon,
    one of the very most opportune
    was the banishment of all who would
    commit sodomy, or gay lustihood
    and gals who with their own sex commune!

    Last, but certainly not the least,
    is the freedom to slaughter any beast
    that we determine is in the way
    of progress, or seen as food or prey,
    sans the nuisance of being policed.

    Yes, oh yes, my conservative dears,
    these have been two of our finest years,
    all due to you and your valiant fight
    to vanquish The Left, restore The Right,
    so God’s Chosen, Christ’s rightful peers,
    can reap the rewards of our plebiscite!

    *Year of Our Lords Gingrich and Romney
    (2014 CE to us atheists and all other-god followers)

    [mods: not meaning to start an election season battle royal with this, only injecting a bit of my warped humor into the fray, to keep it 'light'... hugs, m]
     
  2. Cacian
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    Cacian Banned

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    Dear mammai...this is an interesting read..I am still reading it.
    I read the introduction and in order for me to understand this poem better I have few questions if you do not mind
    who is romney?
    what does this mean?
    1)gop yohos'd
    2)1600 PA Ave
    3)'a cute young chick around the velvet ropes'
    4) Yoolgar.

    thanks!
     
  3. Link the Writer
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    Link the Writer Flipping Out For A Good Story. Contributor

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    Mitt Romney is a republican presidental canidate running for election come November 2012.
    1600 PA Ave is where the White House is.

    The others? No idea.
     
  4. Cacian
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    Cacian Banned

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    Hey thanks link that's great.
    I would have never guessed:redface:
     
  5. Cacian
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    Cacian Banned

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    dear mammai
    I know reread the poem and getting to understand better what you mean.
    just a question
    so you are not a republican/conservative so are you a democrat?
     
  6. TheIllustratedMan
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    TheIllustratedMan Active Member

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    1) GOP stands for "Grand Old Party", which is another name for the Republican Party in the United States. A "yahoo" is a crazy person, and the 'd is a contraction for "would". So she's saying that, "the crazy people in the Republican Party would."

    2) 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue is the address in Washington, D.C. where the White House is. The White House is the home and office of the President of the United States.

    3) "a cute young chick around the velvet ropes" refers to a tour guide showing a group of tourists the White House. Areas would be cordoned off where the public is not allowed, and the typical way to show an area that is off-limits is to use a "velvet rope", kind of a thick roll of velvet with clips on either side that clip to stands. You might have just two stands on either side of a door, with a velvet rope between them, or you might have a series of stands, all linked by velvet ropes, denoting a path to be followed.

    4) YOOLGAR is an acronym that mammamaia made up, standing for "Year of our Lords Gingrich and Romney". Newt Gingrich and Mitt Romney are both candidates seeking the nomination for President of the United States from the Republican Party. There is a chance that if one is nominated, he will ask the other to run with him as the Vice Presidential candidate. Maia is parodying the BC/AD format for expressing the year (Before Christ/Anno Domini, "Year of our Lord"), and saying that this piece takes place in the second year of the reign of Romney and Gingrich, and the speaker is idolizing them as gods. Of course, she's being ironic about it.

    Hope that helps!
     
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  7. Cacian
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    Cacian Banned

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    Hey TheIllustratedMan thank you for such grand explanation.
    I now understand what this is all about.
    So many words one does not understand. Just because one reads English does not necessariy make it all clear.
    YOOLGAR is sure a striking acronym.
     
  8. mammamaia
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    mammamaia nit-picker-in-chief Contributor

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    hey, thanks for saving me all that time and typing, 'TIM'!

    but i have to correct one item... a 'yahoo' is not a 'crazy person'... it comes from 'gulliver's travels' in which the 'yahoos' were a 'base' form of humans gulliver encountered on one of the islands he landed on...

    i'm glad someone finally commented on this, cacian!... was wondering why it got so many 'views' but no comments...

    as for my politics, i was a conservative republican in my 'old life' but became disgusted with politicians of all stripes, so didn't vote for over 15 years, till obama came along... i guess i'm more a liberalish democrat than any other label, but really eschew such labels and now just vote for the person, not a party... that said, i can't avoid being against all that the republican party now stands for... as you can well tell from this piece! ;-)
     
  9. Cacian
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    Cacian Banned

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    does that mean the 'yahoo' search engine took the name from the book?
     
  10. TheIllustratedMan
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    TheIllustratedMan Active Member

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    Sort of.

    Maia is right that the word comes from Gulliver's Travels. Over the course of the last 300 years, the word has entered common usage, to mean someone who is not-right-with-modern-society (is that fair, Maia?).
    However, the word can also mean an exclamation of joy. "YAHHH---HOOOO!!!!" I'm not sure when this usage came about, quite possibly long after Gulliver's Travels, but I believe that it's this meaning that the website is looking for. So: when you find what you're looking for, you shout, "Yahoo!"
     
  11. Cacian
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    Cacian Banned

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    Oh I see a bit like Eureka! interesting.
    Thanks:)
     
  12. mammamaia
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    mammamaia nit-picker-in-chief Contributor

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    the characters in the book were actually 'brutes'... which is a few steps beyond merely being 'not right with society'...

     

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