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  1. AHewlett
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    AHewlett Member

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    Dealing with this plot...I'm going crazy over it!

    Discussion in 'Plot Development' started by AHewlett, Mar 28, 2011.

    Hey everyone,

    First I would like to say that this looks like an amazing forum to get some wonderful ideas and chat to authors who share the same love of writing.


    Secondly, I need some major help on a story idea I've had since I was fifteen. At this moment in time, it's not written or planned as I would like it to be because I don't know how it's going to go and I'm unsure whether to turn it into a script. The plot itself is jumble of ideas which I've written down and I just need some to either say, "Girl...you're crazy. What makes you think that this would work!" or "Here's a few pointers, notes and ideas for you to take away with you and work out yourself since it's your idea after all!"

    Anyway, here's the idea (warning: some users may not agree with it):

    1. It's a somewhat love story between a seventeen year old girl and a late 20's to early 30's man.
    2. This guy is the Vice-President of her family's business which was founded in the 1800's and has become a world famous advertising business.
    3. The guy had a serious affair with the girl's mother but the affair ended when they were nearly discovered and the mother didn't want her image to be ruined.
    4. The girl and the guy first met when she was fourteen years old at the annual Christmas party at the parents home. He was having the affair at the time so that's not when their relationship started.
    5. She fell in love with him at first sight almost and when she was sixteen, she kissed him at the office but he threw her out afterwards because he didn't want to know her.
    6. During that point and when she's seventeen, they finally begin the relationship which isn't about love on his part.
    7. The big secret (not sure whether I should mention it but here we go anyway): No one really knows who the heir to the business is when her father retires, she has two elder sisters that could take over but no one seems to know. However, people find out at some point that she was made the heiress when she was ten years old by her grandfather and her own father is just the front until she's ready to take over which is when she's twenty one.

    And that's all I have at the moment. I gave the warning since I know some people would be a bit grossed out and I know the law says that the age of consent is seventeen so I know all about that.

    Any help would be brilliant as I'm going insane over this story and I need to get it out of my system.

    Thank you,
    Anne-Marie.
     
  2. art
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    art Contributing Member Contributor

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    Doesn't seem a jumble to me. Seems pretty coherent and ripe with intrigue and possibility.
    (The age of consent in the UK is 16..different elsewhere)
     
  3. AHewlett
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    AHewlett Member

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    Thanks! I knew the age thing might be a bit of a problem, especially the age of consent being 17 in New York which is where it will be set. But then it's when they have a sexual relationship is when I should start worrying. Like someone said to me "Love has no bounds."
     
  4. Finhorn
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    Finhorn Senior Member

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    I think what will help you most is this bit of advice: Write the story. When it's on paper you can edit and change stuff (like ages if you need the wider audience) and fix plot holes. But until then it's only a dream and we can't do much for you.

    Right now, it seems better as a romance novel than a movie script. Most scripts tell stories by watching things happen. Books (especially romance novels) are more often character driven. This lets your reader explore feelings and pose little "what if's" in their heads.

    A quick word on plot. A definition that I think works well here is "two stories conflicting and intertwining." You seem to have two stories but no conflict. "A guy dates a slightly older woman then her daughter. Neither relationship is about love but the sex is good." And "A girl falls in love with an older guy (often intimacy issues / fear of commitment will cause this). She discovers that she better go get a business degree so she doesn't run the company into the ground and can live happily ever after."

    These two stories, though they have the same characters in them, aren't enough to be a plot. We need wants and desires from the guy and the girl and we need them to come into conflict. What if the guys a gold-digger with no real talent as VP. He wants to please who ever's in charge. The girl wants him to love her so she fools herself into thinking that he does but knows that he doesn't. This stems both internal conflict and external as she gets ready to take over. Then in a role reversal he decides that he really does love her and has to convince her that he's changed without ever admitting that he used to be a letch. Now the conflict is internal for him and external for her.

    That's probably not what you were thinking but you won't know for sure until you start to write it. Like the other poster, art, said, you've got potential here so now it's time to get started.

    PS - A note on age of majority. If I'm not mistaken, (I didn't look this up) child pornography in the U.S. is defined, in part, as the elicit depiction (written, drawn, or photographed) of someone under 18, regardless of what the local age of consent is or whether the person is real or imaginary. All the novels I remember with explicit sex scenes or descriptions take care to mention that their characters are all over 18. The others imply the sex (Billy hugged Sarah close. The next morning...) or have the characters talk about it -- one of the few times you should tell instead of show. -- "Are you going to have sex with him?" "We did last night."
     
  5. AHewlett
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    AHewlett Member

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    I didn’t realise there was two stories rolled into one until you pointed that out and you’re right which is what I need to take into consideration when I begin writing.

    Also, you’re right when it comes to conflict. I haven’t got any at all and I quite like your ideas though one note that I’ve always had about the guy was that he started working at the business part-time to pay for his college tuition. One conflict that a friend suggested to me was that at some point between the age of sixteen to now eighteen (as you also pointed out), her grandfather could possibly deem her too young to take over a business and would need a lot of experience to take over a large business empire even with a degree. So, the grandfather asks this guy if he would be interested in taking over the business instead which she finds out about and this causes her stress because from the age of then, she has known that she would take over.

    To me, this would cause conflict between the two. She would feel betrayed by her grandfather and angry at this man for taking away her inheritance as it were. He would be rather pleased that all his hard work has been finally recognised and he would no longer have to rely on any relationship with this girl to get higher up the tree.

    Also, adding onto that idea is that it could be revealed to be a ploy to get her into mind as well as to focus on her future, her career and the business empire.
     
  6. Cogito
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    Cogito Former Mod, Retired Supporter Contributor

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    A story concept means nothing. I can tell you now, it has all been done before. What matters is how you write it, the characterization, the flow, the imagery, all of it.

    There's no benefit in asking what other people think of the concept! They'll either say,"Sounds great," or, "it sounds like a ripoff of..."

    If the idea stirs you, write it. Then ask people what they think of the final story. After they tell you what they don't like about it, revise it, usually several times, until you're happy with it or until you throw up your hands and say the hell with it.

    Please read What is Plot Creation and Development?
     
  7. AHewlett
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    AHewlett Member

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    Right, I'll do that thanks!
     
  8. Daisy215
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    Daisy215 Member

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    The age of consent is different everywhere, where is the story taking place?
    Where I live it's also 17.

    I like the idea, I'm a sucker for romance myself.

    I think that the plot needs more conflict, other than the age difference, perhaps you could use her being an heiress to the company as something to create tension or a conflict where they can't be together.

    Also her being so willing to persue a relationship with him might not be to realistic, she would struggle internally with the idea.
     
  9. KillianRussell
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    KillianRussell Contributing Member

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    A great novel on the subject matter other than Lolita is Anita Shreve's "Fortunes Rocks", that being said..IF our characters do not have some depth, readers drop of leaving us alone with a plot that driving us crazy
     
  10. AHewlett
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    AHewlett Member

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    @Daisy215 - I'm setting the story in New York City which I've looked up and nearly every site has said 17 but as Finhorn pointed out, I have to take into consideration if there's going to be any explicit sexual content and if there is then I'll have to change her age.

    I agree with needing to find conflict. I know in some companies that co-workers aren't allowed to have a relationship with one another, I don't know if that applies to a CEO and a VP but I can always look that up. So that idea does have merit so thanks for that.

    And I agree with you over the relationship which I will certainly keep in mind and add into it.
     

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