1. Slappydappy
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    Slappydappy Member

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    Does your family get in the way of your writing? MINE DOES

    Discussion in 'General Writing' started by Slappydappy, Jun 6, 2012.

    I am moving out soon, but man, it's just ridiculous around here. My mom is a house mom, so she always needs help or griping about something. My little brother is loud as hell.

    I have to constantly go to the library or to a cafe to write. If I stay here, I will have to deal with so much crap. It's impossible to get an hour of writing in.

    Who else has this problem and how do you get around it?
     
  2. Cerrus
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    Cerrus Senior Member

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    I can completely understand you. My mom is a house mom as well, and there are three, yes THREE babies in my house. (My baby brother, my other baby brother, and my baby niece.) So it's very busy around here. Unfortunately I'm too young to just go to some cafe to do whatever so I'm home almost ALL the time. This stuff doesn't get in the way of my writing, as I don't write much anymore, but more so my drawing. Right now I have a job a graphic novel artist and I haven't even found the time to draw some character sketches. Usually right about now at 8 or 9pm I've got my free time. My only word of advice is to just make use of any time you can get.
     
  3. jen_h
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    jen_h New Member

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    Well,
    at my house I am the housemum, so yeah they get in my way a lot, and unfortunately I can't just go off and leave them to write, because they've gotten used to eating and stuff like that. My solution to this problem has been to get up a couple of hours before everyone else and get my writing done first thing. That way no matter what else happens that day, I've gotten my writing in.
     
  4. BBane
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    BBane New Member

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    I used to be in a similar boat, then I killed them...and ate them (to consume their essence). No, wait, that's what one of my characters did.

    I actually bought an old Remington typewriter and set-up shop in my tool shed at the far end of our yard. It's dark, dank, and full of creepy crawling things--a perfect space for writing romance?--but most important it's quiet and isolated enough for me to carve out a few good hours per day in.

    You just got to find a way, wherever and however you can.
     
  5. madhoca
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    madhoca Contributing Member Contributor

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    Same here. Or, like now, I write at work instead of doing my work. Oops. Must go.
     
  6. Mckk
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    Mckk Moderator Staff Supporter Contributor

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    Growing up it was never a problem for me, as I have this ability to zone out of everything around me. Plus I put on my own music. Have you tried putting on some headphones? I used to write in the living room (in the days when there were no laptops and there was only one family desktop) where my mum is always watching TV and my parents are really rather loud - they just talk very loudly, that's all, or shout requests like "What'd you like to drink?" from the kitchen. Didn't bother me. And then when I acquired a laptop, I was often in my room. I also often wrote after everyone went to bed and wouldn't sleep til 3am or so.

    Nowadays, I'm married but without children so noise is even less of a problem for me, and my husband lets me play my playlist all the time (no headphones) and he never disturbs me unless he's looking for a few hugs, which is just cute so I don't mind :)

    So... I guess my solution is an unwavering ability to block things out :D
     
  7. killbill
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    killbill Contributing Member

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    Yes, family can be distracting specially when your 'creative juice' is flowing and you don't want any disturbance. But, on a subconscious level being with my family is one of the main source of all the emotions I bring in to my writing. Also, ironically, when my family is away and I have all the alone time, I mostly procrastinate and do very little writing :)
     
  8. GHMP
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    GHMP New Member

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    I wish I'd be moving out soon...

    I live in a house with 5 other people, but the main problem is my sister. Watching TV is her only hobby.
    I don't have the ability that Mckk has of being able to zone out everything around me.

    My way of coping is only writing in my room, where people don't really disturb me. I only have a laptop there that's older and not connected to the Internet. It overheats if I don't point an electric fan on it, but the noise of the fan drowns out the excessively loud TV, so I don't mind too much. However, if I tried to run something other than Word, it'd probably crash despite the fan.

    I also like programming, but the laptop I have can't really run any kind of game engines or anything for that, so I need the desktop for that...unfortunately, it's only like, 5 yards from the TV in the living room. So I pretty much wait until after everyone's in bed to program, and stay up until about 5:00 or 6:00 AM before I start programming. During the day and before people are in bed, I'm usually in my room, reading something or writing on the laptop. Without access to the internet, I can't do any research or learn much, really, so that makes my time during the day a bit less progressive.

    Putting on music doesn't really help me that much, since I pretty much find it hard to think with too much sound around me, regardless of what kind of sound it is.

    In short, I pretty much deal with it by becoming a nocturnal being, and accepting the fact that 75% of every 24-hour period is going to be spent not making much progress on any of my projects.
     
  9. Tesoro
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    Tesoro Contributing Member Contributor

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    I never had that problem growing up, being an only child and living with just my mom. In fact I got so much writing done, and still I stayed up until like 3am because I couldn't stop writing. My advice is to go to the library (I doubt it there's anyone on here too young to go there) and find a quiet spot at least for an hour or so a day. That means a lot in the end, even though it's not as much time as you would want. Sometimes even bus/train/subway rides can be a good time to at least let your ideas out using pen and paper, the old fashioned way. :)
     
  10. minstrel
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    minstrel Leader of the Insquirrelgency Staff Supporter Contributor

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    I was never able to stay up too late at night. When I was still living with my parents (back in the 80s!), I made it a habit to get up at about 4:30 in the morning. That basically guaranteed me about three good, silent hours to write in before anybody else got up. I look back on those days with great fondness.

    My roommate now is in a convalescent home recovering from hip replacement surgery (he comes home here on Saturday), and I've found myself drifting back into my old early-rising habits. That's how I'm able to be typing this post at 4:00 am (I'm in California). With any luck, I'll be able to maintain an early schedule after my roommate gets home. If I can, my production will probably at least double!
     
  11. Aimster
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    Nope. I'm an only child from a single-parent household, so it's never been a problem for me.

    Saying that, it's both a blessing and a curse. I've always been quite lonely because of this, which is probably part of the reason I originally started to write. (If you don't have friends, why not just create yourself some? :rolleyes:)
     
  12. TWErvin2
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    TWErvin2 Contributing Member Contributor

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    I think you'll find that there is always something that will put pressure on writing time. Family, school, work, and all the responsiblities in life. It's all about managing and making writing a priority. Maybe not the top priority, but up there enough that writing does occur.

    It never gets easier, unless maybe one works up to a career in novel writing, but even then there are other responsibilites and likely family.
     
  13. chicagoliz
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    chicagoliz Contributing Member Contributor

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    My interferers are my husband and two children. When they're home, I can't go off and write somewhere, because then they complain I'm not with them. When I write when they're around, I'm constantly told I'm wasting my time. If they're not doing that, then they're whining and complaining about something else or asking me to do something or are crying, breaking something, harassing the dog, requesting an unreachable item, jumping on top of me, or attempting to take the computer. So on weekends or holidays when they're around, I get almost no writing done. I write late at night when everyone's gone to bed, or during the time I'm home and they're not. Sometimes I sneak off to Starbucks or the local bookstore cafe to write.

    In short, Slappydappy: it never ends.
     
  14. AmyHolt
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    AmyHolt Contributing Member

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    As annoying as family can be and as good as it can be to move out, we'd all do well to remember that family and real people are more important than any imaginary world we write about, more imporatant than our characters, video games, texts, facebook...
    That's not to say I haven't hidden in a closet for peace and quiet before but it's the real people in our lives that make our lives matter. I say this as someone talks, sings, and screeches (yes, he's really screeching) non-stop in the background. Ah, the joys of life! :)
     
  15. minstrel
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    minstrel Leader of the Insquirrelgency Staff Supporter Contributor

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    But remember the famous quote from William Faulkner, who, I guess, was a rather notable curmudgeon: "The writer's only responsibility is to his art ... If a writer has to rob his own mother, he will not hesitate; the Ode on a Grecian Urn is worth any number of old ladies."

    Now, I'm not saying I agree 100% with Faulkner here (or even 10%), but it is a memorable quote!
     
  16. chicagoliz
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    chicagoliz Contributing Member Contributor

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    Also, as annoying as they can be, they're great fodder for stories. Much as I fantasize about being able to go to the oft-discussed cabin in the woods to concentrate for a week or a month just on writing, it would get pretty boring if that became what I did 365 days a year. You've got to take the bad to get the good.
     
  17. Slappydappy
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    Slappydappy Member

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    I used to live by myself, and it was heaven. I had to move back home after a spine injury and my medical bills left me nearly broke. Now I am fine and ready to move out. Things were so perfect at my condo...silence. It was so golden.
     
  18. randi.lee
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    randi.lee New Member

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    BAM. Right here. Almost everything I write has to do with some zany thing or another that my family is doing. So as much as they hinder my writing, they also fuel it.
     
  19. NeedMoreRage
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    Things fluctuate around here. Sometimes it's very quiet and sometimes it isn't. I usually get writing around 10 at night because by then everyone has retired to their own rooms for the night and I will work into the early morning hours.
     
  20. shaylyn
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    shaylyn Member

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    When I lived at home, I always stayed up till the wee hours of the morning. That was when I get my best writing done. When it was dark, lonesome and depressing. Now, my husband works all day and it's just me and my dog most of the day. Now I can't be home because it's too quiet :p So I have to go to a cafe where there are people...like right now :)
     
  21. Erato
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    Erato Contributing Member

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    My family, no. My life, yes.
     
  22. DHTSciFiWriter
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    DHTSciFiWriter New Member

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    With myself, I have no problem for two reasons.

    The first is I write at night when everyone is sleep. I sleep in a basement so I am not really disturbed by anyone.

    Second I have this uncanny ability to tune out even the most loudest closest noise. When you have done even the hardest, most mind fraying accounting homework when 4 small nieces and nephews are playing and screaming to the top of their lungs. You develop a wall of blockage.
     

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