1. SilverWolf0101
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    SilverWolf0101 Active Member

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    Family and Friends too Nice... Who to Turn to?

    Discussion in 'General Writing' started by SilverWolf0101, Jul 5, 2010.

    As a writer, we all get our work reviewed by someone before shipping it off to the publishers, after all we want to make it as clean and pristine as possible to better our chances of getting the book published.

    Here's a common place problem though, usually the ones most first time writers turn to is their friends and family. Since our family loves us, they'll usually say it sounds goods and sing our names to the heavens. Fact is, family and friends lie so we don't get hurt by their words.

    So, here's why I bring up this thread, where do you get your work reviewed? You can't ask family and friends because then you risk being lied to. Me, I'd take it to someone else, but I'm not very trusting and worry about it being stolen, but I need someone, anyone who can review my writing and give me the cold, hard, hateful truth.

    In fact, a lot of writers need someone who'll sock it to them, it's the only way to better one's writing. Yes, I must admit the review section of the site is nice (and very helpful might I add) but posting section after section of a writing can get very tiresome, and may even annoy some members.

    Which brings me back to my original point, who do you turn to? Who do you ask to give you the review you want, without fearing them being too nice, or even stealing the content for their own?

    Now, I'm not looking for someone to say "oh go to such and such place and find the person of your dreams" (sorry it's rude and such but people do this and it can be annoying). In fact, I could care less if I get a suggestion for reviews, I'm merely putting this thread up as a discussion piece. If it violates the rules (I might have misses where) then by all means I'll pay my time and let this thread sink into the shadows as though it was never there.

    Anyways, back to the topic one last time, if you can't trust your friends and family to give you the brutually cold but honest truth about your work, then just where do you turn to find someone who can give you it?
     
  2. tashaa-jayy
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    tashaa-jayy Member

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    okay,

    well where do i start?? i don't like my family and friends reading my stories im always scared that they are going to judge me on what i write about. I cant take it to friends because most of my mates don't like to read, which is understandable.

    I dont like strangers reading it because i think that they are going to take bits out of my stories and make them there own,I'm not very trusting when it comes to people reading my stories.

    I dont want to come across like a wanna be or anything like that, but if your happy for me to read your storie i would be happy to ill give you honest feed back on what you could change or whatever needs doing??
     
  3. Steerpike
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    Steerpike Felis amatus Supporter Contributor

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    Find someone you trust and care share the work with either in person, via email, or in a password-protected forum. You can always just share portions if you're worried about sharing the entire work.

    I think the risks of stealing is pretty minimal, but you should establish some degree of trust with someone before giving it over. I suppose you could also ask for someone to sign an NDA, though I'm not sure how that would go over for most people.

    I agree that most comments from friends and family are worthless. I do have a couple of friends who are not only very insightful but happy to tell me the truth, so that's a good resource.
     
  4. Fantasy of You
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    Fantasy of You Banned

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    How about a writing forum with a section specifically tailored to workshop with other writers?
     
  5. Steerpike
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    Steerpike Felis amatus Supporter Contributor

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    That's what I've done in the past. Haven't had any trouble with stolen material. But SilverWolf seems worried about that aspect of it.
     
  6. tashaa-jayy
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    tashaa-jayy Member

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    i would be worried to only because i have had people stealing my work.
    but on here seems pretty decent so i dont have much dramas on here about sharing mt story and getting feed back
     
  7. Katherina
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    Katherina Member

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    Well I dont really have any trouble in that department. Two of my friends are coldhearted stuck up writers in the rough so whenever I write something (whatever it is), I hand it over to them and they give me their opinions being bad, good or just plain mean.

    What´s good about them is that their english is pretty well so I can write and use as many "hard" words as I want and they will always understand them.

    Im already used to tough love anyway :love: :p

    So my suggestion is, if you have friends like that, who will tell you the cold hard truth, ask them for advice ;)
     
  8. JTheGreat
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    JTheGreat Contributing Member

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    For one, you used the wrong "to" in the title. It should be "too".

    Getting to the topic at hand, I usually show my writing to my friend, who, since she's also a writer, is scathingly critical, but in a sarcastic way so I don't feel bad.

    If you don't have any real-life friends like that, I suggest... WritingForums! Well, not for whole novels, but you get my drift. Cogito won't sugar-coat things, but a "no offense" might be added.
     
  9. Steerpike
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    Steerpike Felis amatus Supporter Contributor

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    Nevermind the previous comment. Looking at the wrong "to."

    Kick in coffee!!
     
  10. JTheGreat
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    JTheGreat Contributing Member

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    The OP said, "Friends and Family to Nice". By this, I assume that the OP means that her friends and family are excessively nice, and in this case we would use "too". On the other hand, the second "to" is correctly used. Meh, I understand myself.
     
  11. Steerpike
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    Steerpike Felis amatus Supporter Contributor

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    Ninjaed :)
     
  12. mammamaia
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    mammamaia nit-picker-in-chief Contributor

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    having been writing professionally for decades, i don't need or seek full critiques of my work, but when i want to gauge readers' reaction to something, i send it to my sister, who's also a fairly full time writer...

    for those just starting out, i recommend posting short excerpts here for critique and for more detailed feedback, finding someone you can trust who's knowledgeable about what agents and editors will look for and has time to look over more than those little bits...
     
  13. Show
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    Show Contributing Member Contributor

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    Family and friends can sometimes be plenty brutally honest. So they can be pretty darn accurate as reviewers in terms of what an average person thinks. Obviously each member is different but writing off family completely is rash when they can be the most honest of all. :p
     
  14. w176
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    w176 Contributing Member Contributor

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    I take it to friends who are writers. Who knows and understand why to, how to and what the goal is with feedback and review. Or other type of artist, like illustrators and painters who also understand the need and the process
     
  15. Pallas
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    Pallas Contributing Member Contributor

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    It is probably best to post some excerpts here for review, especially if you are thin skinned like myself and have already suffered the laughter or indifference of family and friends. I got some positive feedback from my posting a whiles back, so I'm fairly certain I am not writing total garbage.
     
  16. Nalix
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    Nalix Member

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    I love having my family read my work, but the thing that concerns me most is who my audience is. That's probably the most important thing you can do when considering who you want to review your work. Ask yourself "is this the kind of person I am writing for?"

    There are many kinds of people in the world. You can't write for all of them. And your first audience will always be yourself. Don't try to talk yourself into writing something you wouldn't want to read just because someone reviewed it away from your initial vision.

    Just a matter of knowing why you are writing and who you are writing for.
     
  17. eratos
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    eratos New Member

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    Who is your target audience?

    Start there.

    I have a few people I trust to read. However, if they are not my target audience it is more hassle then it is worth.

    And the wrong audience can be disastrous for a writer.
     
  18. madhoca
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    madhoca Contributing Member Contributor

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    My family are good critics. The only problem is I feel like I have to expurgate the sex scenes. My friends don't care about hurting my feelings I guess.
     
  19. Steerpike
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    Steerpike Felis amatus Supporter Contributor

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    If you get published, you won't be able to censor the copies your family members have :)
     
  20. Cogito
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    Cogito Former Mod, Retired Supporter Contributor

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    Two words: Exacto Knife ;)
     
  21. lynca
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    lynca Member

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    You could also advertise for Beta readers - writers in your preferred genre who will critique your work in exchange for you doing the same for them.

    I didn't know about them when I began to write; I learned by sending my material to agents and publishers. Talk about learning by fire, that was torture and the feedback was terrible for the ego. But I learned.

    Later I submitted to online editors. Expensive at times, but again, I learned.
     
  22. w176
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    w176 Contributing Member Contributor

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    Can't you just tell them:

    "I write romance this means the book got some sex scenes. Skip them if your not conformable with reading them. I totally understand if you do."
     
  23. Fantasy of You
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    Fantasy of You Banned

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    The problem with families reading your stuff, they're often hard pressed not to view YOU as the character. For that reason alone... sex scenes are a no-no.
     
  24. madhoca
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    madhoca Contributing Member Contributor

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    Yep, that's the problem. I've asked them if they would think I was a killer if I had a story about a murder, but I still can't reassure them.
     
  25. Fantasy of You
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    Fantasy of You Banned

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    My girlfriend bugged me to read one of my stories for a long time. When I finally submitted, it just so happened the piece she chose involved a guy who killed his neighbour's dog with a tennis racket. The coincidence: I play tennis and her cat went missing. Moral: Give your close ones stories that won't make them sleep with one eye open, and don't expect any honest feedback; unless, you know, they're somewhat capable of being unbiased!

    - Andy
     

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