A friend of mine is asking for help to improve his writing abilities (I told him to either talk to his teacher or join a forum like this, but he's very shy) and he told me to review a story of his. I'm not very good myself, so I don't think that I can be of much help, but I would like to help him out. I was just wondering if some of you would like to review his story and write down what he needs to improve. I'd just like to inform everyone that you don't have to read it if you don't want to, it's just a friendly request. For those of you that would like to read it, it's on bladerunnercontest.com under the name Joe Eibert. (He joined the contest to see if he could beat others, but I don't know if he can or not. Probably just wanted to prove something.) Don't be afraid to be blunt, either. He needs to learn and sugar coating things won't help very much. Anyway, only constructive criticism, please.