1. Elgaisma
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    Elgaisma Contributing Member Contributor

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    Help with Lucy

    Discussion in 'Character Development' started by Elgaisma, Feb 15, 2011.

    OK she spawned a rather long thread (Does Evil Need a Reason lol) - I am currently rewriting my first book, and I am about to reintroduce my 'devil' character.

    She is a personal assistant to the headmaster at the Royal Academy (for all but twenty years of its history has been my Abbot character) who wears smart suits, has auburn hair she ties up in a tight bun, she peers over her spectacles at naughty schoolboys and glares at them. Speaks in clipped tones. She instills fear into them.

    I am looking to bounce some ideas around for maybe giving a small foreshadowing of what she really is. An ancient woman who was the second creature in the universe to be created (she may have been the first), her sister is my 'eve' character Izanami, she has been charged by the Universal Father to be in effect the bad bacteria to her sisters good bacteria and keep the universe in balance that way. Created infertile she is truly immortal unlike my other pre-mortal characters who begin to die when they produce a child. She is a fifth element character which means she has control of all elements, and can control the fireflies (energy streams) that travel the universe. Her birdform is the Great Skua but that is too obvious as a symbol.

    OK Anything just to get my juices thinking - the scene is my MC who is 17 is just returning to school after becoming king. The Abbot newly reappointed as headmaster has summoned himself, his bestfriend Matt, and his arch-enemy Jack, at the start of the story Angus and Jack had been fighting, then Matt and Angus had gone fishing instead of continuing to school. They are waiting outside the Abbot's office and she is peering at them.
     
  2. w176
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    w176 Contributing Member Contributor

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    Add a level of sexual dominance and abuseivness, hinted or explicit. I would go for this for two reasons sexual abuse is a such a strong symbol for something evil, wrong and almost demonic. Unwanted sexual attention is a show of power, and abuse of your body, and as a person, even if it just an a unwanted touch, or carcass.
    Secondly because this give a parallel to the Lilith myths, where sexual disobedience towards Adam and the fact that she wanted to be on top was the reason God banished her.

    But I would not make her a sexual evil seductress. Thats an overdone troupe. I would rather just make her sexual advancements really creepy, in the way sweaty middle aged balding priest sometimes is portrayed in stories about sexual abusive priests.
    There nothing seductive about them. They are just creepy abusing their position.
     
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  3. Elgaisma
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    Elgaisma Contributing Member Contributor

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    Hmm I may hint at it maybe at least physical abuse- but she isn't evil herself just in charge of introducing evil to the world and keeping it at the right level - by being the devil she is being obedient to god. In a later book she starts to go mad but at this stage she isn't.
     
  4. Mallory
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    Mallory Mallegory. Contributor

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    You say she's an assistant adminstrator in a school, which puts her in a prime position to threaten kids. I don't mean "threaten" as in overtly saying she'll do bad things to them, but even if she acts slightly intimidating, it could scare kids to death - there's that power difference, you know? The feeling of "she's an administrator, she can do whatever she wants to me and I stand no chance." So she could revel in this.
     
  5. Elgaisma
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    Elgaisma Contributing Member Contributor

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    that is how I have drawn her - in my last book Soc is one hundred and fifty and still terrfied of her lol - seem to remember writing the line 'Lucy please stop glaring at me like that you make me feel like a naughty seven year old.' She responded 'But Soc dear you maybe one hundred and fifty but you still act like a naughty child.' Even though at one point he was her boss as a deputy headmaster.

    Because of the particular school it means she has instilled fear in a lot of the main characters from an early age. It causes some crucial moments of hesitation in Socrates' Children when Fyren and Socrates face her.

    I don't think i am going to get any crumbs into it.
     
  6. Mallory
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    Mallory Mallegory. Contributor

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    I'm talking about something a little more. Sure, there's the person who is intimidating to talk to because they're stern and make you feel like a little kid. I mean that what if she made the students feel totally helpless? Like, if this person wanted to, she could search their lockers, give them an invasive patdown, spy on them with cameras in the locker room, deny them from eating in lunch detention and make them starve all day; something that completely takes their power and their control of themselves away from them. Not that she'd have to do any of these things (although she totally could), but it would instill a deeper fear of it if she'd have no reservations. This is quite a bit worse than glaring at them behind glasses making them feel like a naughty child. :)
     
  7. Elgaisma
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    Elgaisma Contributing Member Contributor

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    :) Its a cool idea, trouble I am facing is she isn't evil herself - she is actually quite kind beyond being stern, but maybe could have her as a bigger character making them do things maybe use it to show the level of control that she can exert using her mind.
     
  8. N@asha
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    N@asha Member

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    Can a charcter be in charge of introducing evil without being actually being evil? That seems like a paradox to me. Is that why she goes mad?

    So, perhaps the foreshadowing could show that contradiction.

    Umm...sticks up for Jack and tells headmaster it was Angus who started the fight even though it wasn't. However, she then covers for the Angus and Matt by saying they had been running an errand for her and not fishing.

    Show her as being manipulative, but perhaps Angus and Matt don't realise that and are confused. They then feel like they 'owe' her something for getting out of punishment for being truant. She can make Angus believe that she thought he started the fight....even though the reader knows otherwise.
     
  9. Elgaisma
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    Elgaisma Contributing Member Contributor

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    She doesn't seem to be evil she does direct it - she has been asked to do it. In a way her evil is about bringing about a greater good.

    She goes mad due to a combination of having wanted a family, having to cause the evil and just living forever, she wants to move on to progress like her sister. I am a hundred years away from her going mad though - right now she is quite sane and very in control. What I don't know is if the Abbot (her nephew) knows her true identity, I don't think he does because he blames his oldest brother who is a vegatian pacifist monk for being the Lord of Evil.

    I think manipulation might be a good way of moving forward. Angus probably did start the fight lol not sure which of them began it Jack and Angus spend the next eighty years as friends with the occasional punch up.
     
  10. -oz
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    -oz Active Member

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    Just for brainstorming ideas, I'll kick this idea your way. What if this lady not only looks strict, but enforces every single rule in the books? Even rules that might fall outside the school's jurisdiction. She might be able to affect whether students pass the school or not, effectively adding a "disciplinary" section, where too many infractions kicks you out. Making her this strict could help drive her mad later on, when she sees all the chaos in the world. All those people not following the rules, not being obedient to god... When you're immortal and look at those short-lived people sinning left and right when you can't do a thing about it, that is almost enough to drive you mad right there. In the meantime, she would naturally try and make all the people under her follow the rules as best as she could. Instilling fear to do that is just natural!

    EDIT: Your idea for her being mad works quite well...I'm just a slow poster, the last two posts happened as I was typing.
     
  11. Elgaisma
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    Elgaisma Contributing Member Contributor

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    Hmm interesting - actually I think she can force most people. She has an ability for mind control somehow I don't know much about how hers works. I know she has a special connection with one of my MCs because of his position and hers.

    I am thinking showing her fighting skills in a situation maybe unexpected as well.
     
  12. Mallory
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    Mallory Mallegory. Contributor

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    I just read your original post. I thought she was evil because you mentioned she was your 'devil' character, but reading closely I saw she actually just has the power to control energy. My bad.

    What if Angus and Jack and Matt are about to get a severe punishment from the principal (even worse than the one Lucy would give) and Lucy overrides him, by something seemingly simple like a raise of the eyebrow. This would leave readers wondering how and why she has this type of power.
     
  13. KurtistheTurtle
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    I've got a completely lateral suggestion. Have her as a character with certain rituals and tendencies which bring comfort and normality to others there. But after she gets to know you, she'll harshly and accurately criticize you -- occasionally -- and then go back to the regular rituals and tendencies.

    This will create a sense of something missing in the other characters which they seek to find in her, but can't find, and ultimately creates an addictive and destructive relationship which can fuel other events and tragedies.

    [edit:] and she criticizes with the intention of revealing faults for self improvement (means it as a helpful thing) but doesnt realize the effects it has on people.
     
  14. Lothgar
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    Lothgar Contributing Member

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    So, she isn't evil herself, but is charged with the responsibility of unleashing evil into the universe.

    Hmmm...

    Okay, just tossing in my two coppers on this one.

    There is the angle of the non-evil being, more or less, forced to facilitate evil and the psychological trauma such duality incurs. I seem to recall that many years ago, I viewed some historical documentaries about the Nazi SS death camps on the History Channel. While some of the SS staff at the camps were undoubtedly sadistic, evil, misanthropes, there were other SS soldiers assigned to the camps who were just normal people, placed into obscene circumstances far beyond their control.

    Normal people, suddenly forced into situations like that typically are faced with the moral dilemma of one, refusing to commit such atrocities against humanity, such as genocide, and two, upon viewing the gallows, gas chambers and blast furnaces that bodies are loaded into every day...it suddenly becomes horrifyingly obvious what the fate of those who choose to become "enemies of the state" will be. So, what is one to do in such a situation? According the documentary, many felt forced to do it, compelled by both a sense of duty and at the same time fear of the implied penalty if they refused. Having to cope with such an abandonment of their humanity, many SS personnel became alcoholics, manic depressives, suffered emotional breakdowns and some even became suicidal. Others, with weaker moral compasses, surrendered their humanity and gradually evolved into sadistic, evil, monstrosities that have been immortalized in the darker chapters of history. Others still, became emotionally frayed and mentally exhausted, faithfully executing their duty during the day and crowding into the church at night, begging the almighty for forgiveness and some path to redemption.

    Since she isn't evil, but has to usher evil into the world, perhaps some of these traits could manifest periodically in her personality and inner thoughts?

    Feelings of duty and responsibility obligate her actions, but are counter balanced with either overwhelming guilt and depression, obsessive kindness to compensate for the results of her actions and/or a raging war of moral conscience within her mind that might inevitably result the madness you mentioned coming at a later date.

    Just a thought.
     
  15. Elgaisma
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    Elgaisma Contributing Member Contributor

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    Actually Lothgar that is very much her way - duty, discipline and obligation beginning to realise with this thread I had written her pretty well in the first place. My concern had been I didn't know she was the devil or how she ticked until a few weeks ago and I had written this a year ago.

    I have written a character that inspires fear in some of the most powerful men in the world/universe, is rigid in discipline and behaviour, manipulates etc

    I am now thinking a surprising scene where she saves one of her own combination (secret society, they are sort of like my demons), but in a way that looks like she is saving my MCs brother will work.
     
  16. SeverinR
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    SeverinR Contributing Member

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    Now that would be pure evil, give a kid an unwanted carcass.:eek:
    Much worse then the unwanted caress. I know its a typo, but still in this context its a funny typo.

    Two characters come to mind with this,
    Mrs Trenchbowl- Matilda
    Mrs Harridon-Daddy daycare

    Both mean/evil power monger school leaders(Head mistresses)
     
  17. Leonardo Pisano
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    Leonardo Pisano Active Member

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    Her glasses a the all-seeing instrument

    Sorry to say, El, but this out of the ordinary is just not my cup of tea. However, we are here to help each other and .....

    suddenly I, the 17 year old kid, got a chill running through my spline!

    It's that pair of glasses! It must be! She isn't really evil, but with that detestable pair of glasses on the bridge of her nose, she sees everything. She see through me, knows what I think. Heck, even before I know it myself! We must destroy these glasses .... yeah, that's what we should plan for. Thej we are free!

    "Boys, we have something to do," I whispered. A sense of conspiracy filled the room. You could have heard a pin drop. "Boys, did you ..."
     

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