1. TheDarkWriter
    Offline

    TheDarkWriter Active Member

    Joined:
    Jul 27, 2012
    Messages:
    124
    Likes Received:
    11

    How to make the romance more genuine?

    Discussion in 'Character Development' started by TheDarkWriter, Mar 27, 2016.

    So I'm writing a story with a MC who is like an evil over Lord type he's like Apocalypse meets Darkseid. Anyway his love interest is his bounty Hunter. She is basically like a slave but her service is willing mainly because he saved her from a worse fate.

    Their relationship is like Pandora and the Hidden One from Sleepy Hollow, my characters they very dysfunctional in a 50 Shades sense.

    A common theme in the story is him being very ambiguous about his feelings while she's constantly bending over backwards for him while often wondering if it's one sided.

    I hint he does by having him do small things but at the same time he treats her no differently than any other in her job position.
     
  2. Tenderiser
    Offline

    Tenderiser Not a man Contest Administrator Supporter Contributor

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2015
    Messages:
    4,288
    Likes Received:
    5,161
    Location:
    London, UK
    Nothing about that is romantic to me but hey, Christian Grey is (somehow) a romantic hero for many people. On that basis, I wouldn't change anything. There's no way you can make this relationship not-disgusting for people like me, and it sounds like it'll appeal to all the people who loved 50 Shades. Which, I don't have to point out, is hardly struggling for sales.
     
    Oscar Leigh likes this.
  3. doggiedude
    Offline

    doggiedude Contributing Member

    Joined:
    Feb 15, 2016
    Messages:
    1,452
    Likes Received:
    1,248
    Location:
    Florida, USA, Earth, The Sol System
    I was just struggling with the same issue. I went back and added a "first date" scene for two of my characters. What a horrible slog. I hate going on real first dates trying to write one really sucked!
     
  4. cutecat22
    Offline

    cutecat22 The Strange One Contributor

    Joined:
    Feb 20, 2014
    Messages:
    2,434
    Likes Received:
    1,063
    Location:
    England
    Hmm.

    How to make a romance more genuine?

    Have arguments, snidey remarks, throw things, say stupid things, do things they will regret, make them question their choices, have sex because they want to rather than just using it as a tool to attract readers.

    Was Christian Grey a romantic hero? I think he was just a man who knew no different. He didn't inflict pain and dominance because he hated women, he did it because he was taught to do it, he really didn't know any different and by the time he'd realized it wasn't considered 'normal', he couldn't change himself. But, from a controlling point of view, he tried to take control of everything in his life, and to a certain point, he did (having people followed et-al) but in the bedroom, he relinquished that control to the woman by giving her a safeword. SHE had all the control, SHE decided when to stop, when to go, when to push herself.
    So, was he a dominant, or was she the one testing the fairground rides before deciding which ones made her laugh and which ones made her sick?

    OK, I've gone off at a whacking big tangent there, I do apologise.

    Oh, rethink the romance lines. Too many 'melt the heart' moments will make a reader put the book down. Yes, you need them, just not in every conversation.
     
    Last edited: Mar 27, 2016
    Oscar Leigh likes this.
  5. Witchymama
    Offline

    Witchymama Active Member

    Joined:
    Mar 10, 2016
    Messages:
    236
    Likes Received:
    187
    Romance is authentic if it's not perfect. I think that authenticity comes if the people involved know what makes each other tick, or are interested in fully finding out... What makes her happy? What pisses him off? Like if she loves pasta, but he can't stand it, and he makes her baked ziti after a hard day, etc... Things like that make it feel real.
     
    Oscar Leigh and Tenderiser like this.
  6. Oscar Leigh
    Offline

    Oscar Leigh Contributing Member

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2016
    Messages:
    4,425
    Likes Received:
    1,982
    Location:
    Australia
    You could always kill the bounty hunter to show him mourn. That demonstrates his feelings. I mean, seeing as you intentionally choose to make it this way, I don't get what your question is exactly. Do you want to change what you have or add to it?
     
  7. Feo Takahari
    Offline

    Feo Takahari Active Member

    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2016
    Messages:
    291
    Likes Received:
    270
    Location:
    Just above the treetops
    When your MC won't express love through words, the easy alternative is actions. My first thought is to put the MC in a position where he has to choose between protecting the bounty hunter and furthering his own goals. If he actually loves her, he protects her, then acts all tsundere and claims he was just maintaining a resource. If he really doesn't care about her, he keeps to his goals and leaves her to bail herself out and rationalize it all.
     
    Oscar Leigh likes this.

Share This Page