1. matwoolf
    Offline

    matwoolf Contributing Member Contributor

    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2012
    Messages:
    2,309
    Likes Received:
    2,239
    Location:
    Brighton Heights

    I am the greatest

    Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by matwoolf, Oct 2, 2015.

    I am the greatest thruster of the hips since Apollo fired his arrow in some fuckin ole book. Also, a better writer than anybody ever born, even all of you shit writer types. Just I tire easily, personally. Would you like to know how good I am at most things everything? I am very good, though married so my tragedy is epic: I am only able to imaginate how I made, and am making love to absolutely everybody ever born [let us say over the age of twenty-one, alcohol, a most important lubricant in the USA market of books.] You, imagine it now, whiskies of the world smeared across your buttocks. How good am I? I mean, I could do it all GIVEN HALF A CHANCE. And those publishers? I have written many novels, or bits of novels. I need to cut/paste them all together, sticky, stick in the speech marks, and then little people are allowed to buy my book. But I don't yet possess the publishers e-mail addresses, not yet, or the literary agencies telephone numbers. They are waiting for me, they don't know it quite yet. I'll tell them when we make love. It is phzysicology. Anyway, to paraphrase I am the greatest writer, I can't miss this boat, let me on it, please Mummy.
     
  2. The Mad Regent
    Offline

    The Mad Regent Contributing Member

    Joined:
    May 26, 2015
    Messages:
    1,024
    Likes Received:
    427
    Location:
    Wirral, England
    No ... I'm Spartacus!
     
  3. 123456789
    Offline

    123456789 Contributing Member Contributor

    Joined:
    Jan 28, 2012
    Messages:
    6,347
    Likes Received:
    3,092
    Put on some gloves and take your shirt off, or ,quite frankly, nobody's going to give a shit.
     
    Ben414, Lemex and matwoolf like this.
  4. Wreybies
    Offline

    Wreybies The Ops Pops Operations Manager Staff Contest Administrator Supporter Contributor

    Joined:
    May 1, 2008
    Messages:
    18,901
    Likes Received:
    10,089
    Location:
    Puerto Rico
    I expect dinner and a movie before the slathering of buttocks with lubricating whiskies. No take-away either. I want a nice sit-down. Probably not a curry, though. ;)
     
    matwoolf likes this.
  5. matwoolf
    Offline

    matwoolf Contributing Member Contributor

    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2012
    Messages:
    2,309
    Likes Received:
    2,239
    Location:
    Brighton Heights
    ALL BASTARDS. I am. xx
     
    Lemex likes this.
  6. OurJud
    Offline

    OurJud Contributing Member Contributor

    Joined:
    May 21, 2009
    Messages:
    2,028
    Likes Received:
    942
    Location:
    England
    I think you need psychiatric help.
     
    matwoolf likes this.
  7. matwoolf
    Offline

    matwoolf Contributing Member Contributor

    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2012
    Messages:
    2,309
    Likes Received:
    2,239
    Location:
    Brighton Heights
    Thank you @juds
     
    No-Name Slob likes this.
  8. Lemex
    Offline

    Lemex That's Lord Lemex to you. Contributor

    Joined:
    Oct 2, 2007
    Messages:
    10,507
    Likes Received:
    3,151
    Location:
    Northeast England
    ... I think I love you. :love:
     
  9. Dagolas
    Offline

    Dagolas Banned

    Joined:
    Feb 4, 2012
    Messages:
    644
    Likes Received:
    68
    Location:
    France
    You're an jeenius.
     
  10. matwoolf
    Offline

    matwoolf Contributing Member Contributor

    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2012
    Messages:
    2,309
    Likes Received:
    2,239
    Location:
    Brighton Heights
    Thank yous, l love u boths
     
    Dagolas and Lemex like this.
  11. Augusto
    Offline

    Augusto Senior Member

    Joined:
    Sep 29, 2015
    Messages:
    145
    Likes Received:
    14
    Oh man, that's pretty delusional! lol
     
  12. BrianIff
    Offline

    BrianIff I'm so piano, a bad punctuator. Contributor

    Joined:
    Apr 26, 2015
    Messages:
    1,294
    Likes Received:
    433
    Location:
    Canada
    James Patterson's got nothing on you. I applied to woolFU before tuition became exorbitantly high, now my confidence is earth-shattering. Eat that, Bow-Flex.
     
    matwoolf likes this.
  13. Augusto
    Offline

    Augusto Senior Member

    Joined:
    Sep 29, 2015
    Messages:
    145
    Likes Received:
    14
    Also you cannot be the greatest because I am...!
     
    matwoolf likes this.
  14. matwoolf
    Offline

    matwoolf Contributing Member Contributor

    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2012
    Messages:
    2,309
    Likes Received:
    2,239
    Location:
    Brighton Heights
    YOU ARE THE GREATEST x

    thank you for the journey [brother egc]
     
    Last edited: Oct 8, 2015
  15. matwoolf
    Offline

    matwoolf Contributing Member Contributor

    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2012
    Messages:
    2,309
    Likes Received:
    2,239
    Location:
    Brighton Heights
    I am so sorry Brian. Must carry wife up stairs, work at 7amm, oh my goshly.
     
    BrianIff likes this.
  16. Ben414
    Offline

    Ben414 Contributing Member Contributor

    Joined:
    Aug 1, 2013
    Messages:
    974
    Likes Received:
    785
    A priest, a rabbi, and a monk walk into a bar. Matwoolf asks them, "Why didn't you duck?"
     
  17. Augusto
    Offline

    Augusto Senior Member

    Joined:
    Sep 29, 2015
    Messages:
    145
    Likes Received:
    14
    There was a hunter with a gun and no bullets in it. He saw an elephant and the elephant saw him. The hunter then asked himself: "Why is this elephant not running away from me?" Then the hunter understood and felt stupid.
     
  18. Link the Writer
    Online

    Link the Writer Flipping Out For A Good Story. Contributor

    Joined:
    Sep 24, 2009
    Messages:
    11,220
    Likes Received:
    4,227
    Location:
    Alabama, USA
    I AM THE HOPE OF THE LITERARY WORLD, THE BEACON IN THE DARK! I AM THE SALVATION FOR ALL READERS WHO CRY OUT FOR GOOD STORIES! I AM THE PURIFER FOR THOSE WHO THIRST FOR ORIGINAL CONTEXT! I AM ALPHA...AND OMEGA!! I AM THE HERO WHO TRAVELS THROUGH TIME AND SPACE! I'M THE WARRIOR, THE POET, THE LOVER!! I AM THE MAN, THE WOMAN, THE CHILD!! WHATEVER THAT MEANS, BUT I'M KEEPING IT!! I...AM...LINK!!! RAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHH!!!! <powers up to a Super Saiyan complete with dramatic Latin chorus playing in the background complete with lightning and swirling black clouds that cover the sun.>

    Sorry, sorry, I couldn't help myself there. :p Um, what were we talking about again?
     
    matwoolf likes this.
  19. Augusto
    Offline

    Augusto Senior Member

    Joined:
    Sep 29, 2015
    Messages:
    145
    Likes Received:
    14
    Look, I am sorry if you don't believe it but I am a super human genious. I am also a mesiah and I would like to show you all the truth and the way, the right way and the only way: my way.

    I am taking up to twelve disciples, so hurry up before it's too late.
     
  20. Link the Writer
    Online

    Link the Writer Flipping Out For A Good Story. Contributor

    Joined:
    Sep 24, 2009
    Messages:
    11,220
    Likes Received:
    4,227
    Location:
    Alabama, USA
    I am Willius, God of all Whales. Bow before me and obey, puny flabby humans!!

    #SoGonnaGetBannedForThis...
     
  21. The Mad Regent
    Offline

    The Mad Regent Contributing Member

    Joined:
    May 26, 2015
    Messages:
    1,024
    Likes Received:
    427
    Location:
    Wirral, England
    No, seriously guys ... I am the best writer EVER!




    Of course, I've never actually finished anything ... but that's only a minor problem!
     
    BrianIff likes this.
  22. No-Name Slob
    Offline

    No-Name Slob Contributing Member Supporter Contributor

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2015
    Messages:
    1,232
    Likes Received:
    925
    Location:
    Dallas, Texas
    Guys, I'm a shit writer. I need your literilogical guidance , @matwoolf.

    :p
     
    Dagolas and matwoolf like this.
  23. Tenderiser
    Offline

    Tenderiser Not a man Contest Administrator Supporter Contributor

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2015
    Messages:
    4,288
    Likes Received:
    5,161
    Location:
    London, UK
    Yeah well, I'm the worstest.
     
    matwoolf likes this.
  24. OurJud
    Offline

    OurJud Contributing Member Contributor

    Joined:
    May 21, 2009
    Messages:
    2,028
    Likes Received:
    942
    Location:
    England
    I have one question.

    What the FUCK are you all talking about?
     
    matwoolf and Link the Writer like this.
  25. Link the Writer
    Online

    Link the Writer Flipping Out For A Good Story. Contributor

    Joined:
    Sep 24, 2009
    Messages:
    11,220
    Likes Received:
    4,227
    Location:
    Alabama, USA
    Who knows? Perhaps the Mad Hatter has claimed us as his puppets and we now dance to his tunes?
     

Share This Page