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  1. GuardianWynn
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    GuardianWynn Contributing Member Contributor

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    I do not know what you call this,

    Discussion in 'General Writing' started by GuardianWynn, Mar 9, 2015.

    Which might have ruined my ability to search the forum for topics related. Actually forum mechanics I tend to suck at all the same. Concept being like that thing you read on the back of a book. Like a synopsis? Or teaser? What is that called?

    Ok I didn't open a topic just to ask what it is called. I tried writing one for my current WIP but failed! I know it I early for me to be writing something like that(I think) but I was really bothered by not being able too. I wondered if you guy knew more about doing that? Tips and tricks of the trade?

    Not attempting to beg for exact advise but I foresee everyone asking details about my WIP if I don't give it. So;

    It is about a woman(Kerrin) who recently died and is in the spiritual realm. She regained her humanity and is know struggling to survive with the memories of all the pain she caused. Rolling with the flow of world she struggles to find a reason to continue on, assuming the judges of this world deem her worthy too of course. It is a bit flashback heavy as she is constantly remembering things, such as being a monster, or how life was before she was a monster or the event that turned her evil.

    I did write a try at what might be on the back of a book but I think it fails.
    Thanks for listening.

    (Heaven? Hell? They are real just not in the way people imagine them; which should come as no surprise. They aren't a tangible place they are a state of mind as Kerrin is learning. Kerrin a former elite soldier in Donte's Army of Darkness able to conquer full plants by herself. In death she regained her humanity and now he is up against her most fierce opponent yet; her own memories. Can she find a reason to exist? Can she earn Redemption?)
     
  2. Lancie
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    Lancie Contributing Member

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    Hmm, blurb? I've never seen it called anything else but I suppose it could be called a synopsis, too. There was a thread on loglines not too long ago and the general thinking seemed to be Who> obstacle> goal on format. Try and rejig it to see if that format works better for you.

    My opinion on yours is to make it a little snappier, perhaps loose the question marks; Heaven and Hell are real. Just not in the way Kerrin imagined them. The part about her being a soldier in the army of darkness doesn't mean anything to me as a reader. I like the last part though.
     
  3. GuardianWynn
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    GuardianWynn Contributing Member Contributor

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    A blurb ok.
    Loglines? Rejig?

    lol. Figured the soldier aspect reveals how her own memories could haunt her. You think that context isn't needed?
     
  4. Lancie
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    Lancie Contributing Member

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    By loglines I assume they meant taglines, I'd never heard of that one before but if you wanted to search for it, loglines was the term used.

    You could introduce a bit of context but you'd need to rethink how you phrase it, just me personally 'Kerrin a former elite soldier in Donte's Army of Darkness' feels like a name drop- it's context without context if that makes sense?! I also didn't get the ' able to conquer full plants by herself' bit. You could try something like 'in death, Kerrin regained her humanity and now she is up against her most fierce opponent yet; her own memories serving in the army of darkness' or whatever the proper terminology is!

    But that's my opinion, some people might be completely captivated by mention of Donte and the Dark Army.

    Also, I take it I lost you with the rejig?
     
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  5. GuardianWynn
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    GuardianWynn Contributing Member Contributor

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    That makes sense. Thanks for the imput
    Yes you did lose me with rejig.
    The planet thing. Well magical universe. Kerrin was strong enough in magic to handle am army base by herself without a scratch. For a planet she tended to play it a bit more strategic but she could well rip a tank apart with her bare hands. She probably has actually.
     
  6. GingerCoffee
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    It's called a synopsis, not sure what other names are commonly used.

    A query letter includes a short synopsis and a few other things. A logline is something different. It boils your story down to a single line. You open a query letter with something close to a logline. You want something to catch the publisher's eye who is reading thousands of query letters a day.

    Typically a synopsis is used to introduce your book to readers. It's what one finds on the dust jacket or back of a book.

    You should read a slew of synopses to get a better idea what they read like. You aren't being direct enough as to what your story is about. But that's not uncommon when one starts to write these things. We want to tell someone what our story is about but end up writing a summary instead of a synopsis. You don't need a summary, you need intrigue and to let the reader know what kind of book they are looking at. I don't know what your story is about but a synopsis would go something like this:

    Kerrin awoke in a world where heaven and hell were states of mind, dead but retaining her consciousness and her skills as an elite soldier in Donte's Army of Darkness. In death she has regained her humanity, but finds herself facing her most fierce opponent yet; her own memories. Can she find a reason to exist? Can she earn Redemption?
    Or:

    Kerrin awoke in a world where heaven and hell were states of mind, dead but retaining her consciousness and her skills as an elite soldier in Donte's Army of Darkness. In death she has regained her humanity, but finds herself facing her most fierce opponent yet; her own memories. Now she must find a reason to exist and earn redemption, or suffer eternal pain.
    Some people say to avoid questions in a synopsis.
     
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  7. GuardianWynn
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    GuardianWynn Contributing Member Contributor

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    Fair points. Wait the little bit I did in the opening post didn't convey the general idea well enough?

    Inspiration. Lets see if I can do this any better.

    Kerrin's dead but that doesn't mean her existence is over. Waking up in the spirit realm she has learned heaven and hell do exist just not as she thought. Being punished with the return of her humanity now ever waking moment, every memory of her life as a soldier has become hell. Can she survive against her most dreaded enemy yet; herself? Will she find a reason to go on; to earn redemption?
     
  8. GingerCoffee
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    You're still writing a summary. It really helps to take the time to learn the difference between a summary and a synopsis:
    First, while some people suggest you write a logline before you write your piece, when it comes to a synopsis, you need to write your novel first, or at least be a good way through it.

    Then write your major points out in a list.

    Then work on your synopsis.
     
  9. GuardianWynn
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    GuardianWynn Contributing Member Contributor

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    Now I feel bad. :cry:

    I do have it written up. 13 chapters. 30k So currently a Novella not a Novel though word count might change from editing.
     
  10. GingerCoffee
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    Well that doesn't help. :friend:

    OK, now hold off on the summary and make a list of the important points. Don't tell us the hows and whys, just the whats:

    Kerrin's dead
    She still exists
    She's in the spirit realm
    The return of her humanity was a punishment
    Her memories of her life as a soldier are hell
    She must face her worst enemy, her guilt
    She must earn redemption or she'll have no reason to go on​
     
  11. GuardianWynn
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    GuardianWynn Contributing Member Contributor

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    Ok

    Wait a list of all important points? I suck at deciding what is important. Ok here goes.

    Kerrin is dead.
    She still exists
    She is in a spirit realm
    She is in jail waiting to find out what happens to her
    While waiting she is given her humanity back
    She is spared any further actions and is set free
    She has survivor's guilt thinking they should have done more
    The after life begins to shower her with things she loves
    This causes her guilt to deepen
    She is offered a chance to help someone
    She might cease to exist if she joins
    She joins the fight
    Epilogue she survived and now has a good memory to offset the bad ones. Comes off more as a realization that since she is now good punishing herself by guilt or anything else is harming a good person.
     
  12. GingerCoffee
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    That's a lot of summary points. Try to prioritize the list. This is what I would leave out of the synopsis:
    Kerrin is dead.
    She still exists
    She is in a spirit realm (this is implied)
    She is in jail waiting to find out what happens to her
    While waiting she is given her humanity back
    She is spared any further actions and is set free
    She has survivor's guilt thinking they should have done more
    The after life begins to shower her with things she loves
    [Things she loves] This causes her guilt to deepen
    She is offered a chance to help someone
    She might cease to exist if she joins
    She joins the fight [that might end her existence but might offer her redemption]
    Epilogue she survived and now has a good memory to offset the bad ones. Comes off more as a realization that since she is now good punishing herself by guilt or anything else is harming a good person.
     
  13. GuardianWynn
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    GuardianWynn Contributing Member Contributor

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    That makes sense. I originally thought the offer to fight might come off as a random event. Like life screwing her over by taking her away from the happiness but the idea is that it was a blessing in disguise as it allows her to accept the change that has happened to her.

    You think that needs to be in the synopsis? It wouldn't be like spoiling it?
     
  14. GingerCoffee
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    Synopses don't reveal the ending, just the conflict and obstacle.
     

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