1. Forgetmenot77
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    Forgetmenot77 Senior Member

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    I have to...

    Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Forgetmenot77, Mar 21, 2009.

    vent some. My brother's son got himself into an car accident. He was riding with a friend of his and they were both drinking and they rolled the car. They both could of been killed but they weren't and their lives were spared. My brother is angry and I am praying that when this is all over he does not hold it against his son. I tried to come see him for a couple of days but I had to go back to work and now I am worried about him and my brother and sister in law. I tried to stay strong for them but we had to get back to work. It was a three hour drive and a long way from home. I feel bad for them (parents)because they all have to pay for the kids mistakes. This is a very sad chapter in my brothers family. My nephew broke the left side of his rib cage, tore off a hunk of flesh off his right arm, sprang his left leg and his friend lost his right foot, broken ribs and both were thrown from the car. There are not words to describe what I am feeling now.
     
  2. Addicted2aa
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    Addicted2aa Senior Member

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    Think of the good. They are alive and they shouldn't be. Worry about the problems later.
     
  3. biggergib
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    biggergib Member

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    Hopefully your brother's son and his friend will learn from their mistakes. Perhaps it is a good thing that this happened at this point in space-time rather than at some other point in space-time at which a van full of kids or an innocent mother or father would have perished.

    I think the best thing you can do is to do your best to ensure that this lesson is not lost on the boys, or other people you know who might be at risk for a similar occurrence.

    P.S. I found the opposite nature of the top two poster's "quotes" ironic. Not substantial whatsoever, but thought I would point it out.
     
  4. Gone Wishing
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    Gone Wishing Contributing Member

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    Your brother is probably having equally mixed emotions right now, and anger is often the easiest to display because it's reactive of other emotions that are a little harder to accept or deal with. Give him a little time to work through what he's thinking and it's likely he'll calm down some. I guess I'd be a little angry at first, too, if my son had been in an accident as a result of drink-driving.

    It's a relief to hear that while injured both are alive. That is, at least, a blessing.
     
  5. Cogito
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    Cogito Former Mod, Retired Supporter Contributor

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    I think the anger is a good thing in this case. The boy an dhis friend must take this incident VERY seriously. They could have died, they could have been permanently disabled, or they could have done the same to an innocent third party.

    Love them,and be glad they are alive. But actions have consequences, and they MUST learn that. Now. While they still have the opportunity.

    Going soft on them would not be a loving act.
     
  6. Rei
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    Rei Contributing Member Contributor

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    Yeah, this is definitely a time when people have every right to be angry. They did something that people have told them their whole life is not only dangerous, but also illegal. His father shouldn't be too hard on them, of course. If they are smart, the injuries should teach them most of the lesson.

    Sadly, when it comes to alcohol, once event isn't always enough, no matter how bad it is. Some people learn from watching others that they don't want to drink enough at once to ever even learn their limits. Some have a bad hangover once and never drink that much again. Some people spend the next day throwing up every time they drink and never learn. Depending on which category your nephew belongs to, being angry and tough love might be the right way to go.
     
  7. Neha
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    Neha Beyond Infinity. Contributor

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    I think the injury he suffered is definately going to be a lesson, and then the talk with the parents. But the most important think is that he get's better soon.
     
  8. Forgetmenot77
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    Forgetmenot77 Senior Member

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    I called my sister in law and asked how he was doing and they said the same. They (doctors) tried to take out the tube in his mouth but he began to hyperventilate so they put it back in and he also tried to get up and out of bed but the nurses came and they had to re-sedate him. I believe that it is going to be another week before they try it again. I need to call my brother so he can look at his options for work. I hope he can get into a program for his work called fmla so he can protect his job. Thanks guys for hearing me out. I am not going to worry about this for now...I put my nephew and his friend on the alter of the Lord so He can heal them and give the parents strength.
     
  9. Rykoshet
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    Rykoshet Member

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    Maybe this is why we have spoiled kids. You drink and drive, you crash. It's that freaking simple. You don't have to listen to everything they tell you at school, but some things are just common sense.

    If we're lucky the cops will get to him first and then he'll really learn a lesson.

    Maybe it wouldn't be his fault if he crashed into someone and killed them too?

    This is probably the easiest and most important law to obey. Don't drink and drive, especially if you're a kid and don't have years of driving experience and need to be on your sharpest.
     
  10. LordKyleOfEarth
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    LordKyleOfEarth Contributing Member Contributor

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    I feel you man, hang in there. Sometimes our language just does not have enough words...
     
  11. hiddennovelist
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    hiddennovelist Contributing Member Contributor

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    Both very good points. I definitely understand not wanting his parents to be TOO hard on him, but there are consequences to your actions, and he needs to learn that. In a way, maybe it's good that they had this experience. So many people drink and drive with the attitude that they've always gotten away with it and nothing bad has ever happened, so what is there to worry about? In this case, however, he drank, he drove, and he got in a pretty bad accident. Maybe he'll learn his lesson and not do it again...
     
  12. lessa
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    lessa Contributing Member

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    I always told my children
    I will always love you BUT
    there will be times that I will not like you.

    this would be a case of not liking them.
    But if they learn from the mistake it was a
    mistake worth making.
    Nobody was killed for which they can thank
    their lucky stars.
    Maybe part of the punishment would be to
    have to talk to other students about the
    consequences of their actions.
    Kids listen to other kids much more readily
    than other adults.
    Put the car on display with a sign saying
    "happened while drunk."
     
  13. Forgetmenot77
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    Forgetmenot77 Senior Member

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    I've got some good news...my nephew is coming home Monday!!! Yeaaaaaaaa.....he is doing much better. He is in stable condition now thank God. I have been praying for him and asking for prayers. The Lord is soooo good. He can talk and has his motor skill test and past them. The first words he said is, I have to take a ****. LOL.
     

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