1. Eryk
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    Eryk New Member

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    I'm a bit struggling with first paragraph of my essay (GCSE spoken language)

    Discussion in 'General Writing' started by Eryk, Feb 8, 2016.

    English is not my first language, so there may be a few grammar mistakes.


    In this essay, I will be analysing short extract transcripts from a conversation between me and my work colleague, which will be very informal, and significantly opposite email conversation between myself and my manager, whereby we will present a mixture of a formal and informal way of communication. I will demonstrate and explain analyses and evaluations of aspect of how my manager, colleague and I, used and adapted spoken language for specific purposes. Likewise, I will interpret key features found in the below conversations, and show sophisticated analysis and evaluation of key issues arising from public attitudes to spoken varieties.

    What do you think ?
    Can you help me please ?
     
  2. Tenderiser
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    Tenderiser Not a man Contest Administrator Contributor

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    Homework help isn't allowed on the site.
     
    Jack Asher likes this.
  3. Jack Asher
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    Jack Asher Wildly experimental Contributor

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    Not that we would in any case, that sounds just dead boring.
     
  4. Mckk
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    Mckk Moderator Staff Supporter Contributor

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    "significantly opposite email conversation" doesn't make sense. What is an opposite conversation?

    I'd simply encourage you to use shorter sentences. Keep them short and simple. Better that you risk sounding a bit bland and repetitive but that your meaning is clear, than to use long sentences that end up sounding confusing. Right now, your sentences are too convoluted and you risk losing meaning - I imagine if the rest of your essay reads in the same way as your paragraph above, then it would be a very difficult essay to read.

    I don't think your English is bad - to write to the level you have isn't easy. But you're dealing with a complex topic it seems (how we adapt language according to what is socially appropriate) and English isn't your first language. So what you're trying to express will be difficult enough as it is - don't make it unnecessarily hard for yourself by insisting on long, difficult sentences too. Go for short and snappy. It's okay to write "I will A. I will B. After B, I will evaluate C. My colleague and I will..." etc.

    When it comes to essays, clarity is your priority.
     

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