1. blazenglory
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    blazenglory New Member

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    Im about shoot my short film but Im stuck in the middle with my PLOT..

    Discussion in 'Plot Development' started by blazenglory, Jul 4, 2013.

    Script name - Psycho. Help me with Plot please .Im stuck with scripting.Please read

    Ok the story goes like... there is a poet who walks in a coffeeshop ...falls in love with a random girl ... and he visits the coffee shop quite often just to look at her and admire her beauty ..He gets inpired by her beauty and writes a poem in the shop itself ..and one fine day .. she leaves the shop early and after sometime the poet leaves the shop too and while he is walking under street lights ..(Ok NOW GUYS help me here) ... he then comes across a dead body..which eventually turns out to be the girl who he loved ..the same girl who visits the coffee shop .. he is devastated as he is near the body with the knife in his hand and crying loudly.....now some locals think ..he is the murderer ...and run after him ..but he escapes and runs into the forest and turns into a psycho after few years thinking about his love.... and blames the society for judging him quickly.. ( btw he got a big scar on his face ..so the perception of people is that he is a rapist )
    ( OK GUYS PLEASE HELP ME NOW - 1st POINT - SHOULD I SHOW THE MURDER MYSTERY ?
    2nd POINT - ENTIRE FILM IS A VOICE OVER
    3rd POINT - HOW DOES SHE GET KILLED AND WHO MURDERS HER ?
    4th POINT - EVEN IF ITS REVEALED HOW DO I SHOW IT IN THE FILM ..as I CANNOT REVEAL THE MURDER MYSTERY FROM POETS POV ?
    5th POINT - PLEASE HELP ME WITH SOME TWISTS AND TURN IN THE FILM ... IT WILL GREAT HELP ( anything else need to be added ? )
    6th POINT - NO CLICHES PLEASE and COME UP WITH SOMETHING CREATIVE and KEEPING AUDIENCE IN MIND
     
  2. GingerCoffee
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    GingerCoffee Web Surfer Girl Contributor

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    How are you at the stage of shooting a film with a story that isn't finished? Shouldn't it be the other way around?
     
  3. blazenglory
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    blazenglory New Member

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    I said ..I'm about to start the film ..in which I meant ..everything is finalised ..just that I need the plot ... and then Im sorted and I can shoot it immediately ... Location, Post Production everything is sorted... Just help me with this plot ..and I can go on board.... I cant think of any twist here and hence im on hold ..Please help !!
     
  4. redreversed
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    redreversed Active Member

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    Coming to a writing forum to ask for plot ideas won't get you much help, people are just going to tell you to be creative and think of it yourself haha.
     
  5. blazenglory
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    blazenglory New Member

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    I'm being optimistic..someone will help me im sure :)
     
  6. Cogito
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    Cogito Former Mod, Retired Supporter Contributor

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    Um. That's more than optimism. Sorry, you're running helter-skelter in a dark forest. Like George of the Jungle, watch out for that--
     
  7. CyberFD
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    CyberFD Member

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    [​IMG]
     
  8. ChickenFreak
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    ChickenFreak Contributing Member Contributor

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    Without a plot, you don't know what characters are involved. Without characters, you don't know what categories of actors you need. So I can't see how you can be ready to shoot immediately.
     
  9. blazenglory
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    blazenglory New Member

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    All im saying by im about shoot my short film means i have my script with a good start and the climax is good but then after thinkin a lot ..i feel the need to justify my film with the murder mystery.. i mean ..more twist etc ..so my middle plot is bit blank and vague... i know how the characters are involved but as i said i donno how to justify the murder from Mc's POV... if you can plzz help
     
  10. Yoshiko
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    Yoshiko Contributing Member Contributor

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    I think the reason you're stuck is because the foundation of your idea is flawed. You're having people turn against your protagonist for what seems like no reason at all.

    1. Why would they assume he killed her? Surely a sensible person would report the incident straightaway, so I don't see why anyone would assume he's the murderer just because he was seen at the crime scene.

    2. Scar on face ≠ rapist. Unless it's a pop culture reference I'm not getting, I don't see why anyone would jump to that assumption.​
     
  11. blazenglory
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    blazenglory New Member

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    its not an assumption cause when the MC is walking by ..he sees the dead body and when he is near it , he cries and removes the knife from her body and cries loudly... and at this point of time , people see him and run after him , thinking he is the murderer.. but he escapes ...he cant prove that he wasnt the killer ... as the society had a perception about him and thus he gets mad ... but now i dont know how can he prove he wasnt the killer ...i cant think of any twist and turns here...as he cant justify her kill from his POV ...which is obvious ... I just gave the synopsis regarding this ... please help me ..if you can ..would be great :) thanks
     
  12. mammamaia
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    mammamaia nit-picker-in-chief Contributor

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    if you want to be a screenwriter and filmmaker, you'll have to develop your own plots, not be writing one 'by committee'... begging isn't going to do any good...
     
  13. blazenglory
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    blazenglory New Member

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    im asking for suggestions ... suggestions aint begging ... im here for discussions ... :) cheers
     
  14. Cogito
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    Cogito Former Mod, Retired Supporter Contributor

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    You want it to be creative, then exercise your imagination. If you are to be a writer, you must develop your own storytelling skills.
     
  15. Selbbin
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    Selbbin I hate you Contributor

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    Sorry to say but when you ask for the ideas that we give you not to be cliche, then you may want to review the eye-rolling opening scenes. The idea that the whole film is a voiceover is also alarming. I assume that's the poetry. I've done that myself but with a clear story that started with the poem itself.

    I've thought about ways the story could work, but it can't. It just can't. Sorry, but it's a bad story and fundamentally flawed. Why doesn't he call the police? There is no evidence to incriminate him. The police aren't that stupid. Neither are the locals. Now, if you set it in the 1800s, maybe you'd have a film, but I doubt you're in a position to pull that off. The murder is pointless. Totally pointless. It serves no purpose at all. If I were you I'd start from scratch and find a more interesting plot that will be worth the time and effort by everyone involved to film, edit, and watch. Perhaps he approaches her with the poem, but her rejection sends him into the wilderness to deal with his anguish. Perhaps she has a violent partner, which the poet knows about, and a poem he leaves for her in the cafe inspires her to run away, and maybe find him, but it's too late because he's run away thinking he'll never be with her anyway. If you're going to shoot it you need to know your story and characters inside out. How else will you know how to shoot and present it? It's not as easy as just pointing the camera or getting some cliche 'brooding under the streetlights' scene. Anyway, I don't mean to be mean but I write from a wealth of personal experience in the film industry and from having seen hundreds of poorly thought out and poorly made short films.

    PS - This stinks of a homework assignment.
     
  16. blazenglory
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    blazenglory New Member

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    Thank you for you reply Selbbin .. I appreciate and agree with your points...Im just a rookie though ... This was a random thought which clicked and just went with the flow..but then I thought to myself..ok the plot is missing and some serious thinking needs to be done..anyways Ill think of the plot and write it down ..if I get an idea which is not cliche..coz every idea turns out to be cliche in my head..so I just wanted a suggestion what can be done..so that i can visualise the ideas put forward.. :) Cheers .> if I have any Idea ..ill put it on the forum :)
     
  17. Selbbin
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    Selbbin I hate you Contributor

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    I re-read my reply and it seemed a bit mean-spirited, which I didn't intend. Sorry. But I have given you a few ideas that were different from your intended path but may work for your opening concept. A big trap many new film-makers fall into is to get carried away with visuals before they have a story. It really needs to work the other way around and that's my strongest bit of advice.
     
  18. mammamaia
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    mammamaia nit-picker-in-chief Contributor

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    mine, too!
     
  19. heal41hp
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    heal41hp Contributing Member

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    Also, do you even know what happened to the girl, why she got murdered? Do you know her story? You need to know the whole scenario before you can figure out how elements interact.

    Maybe your MC (if you stick with him being mistaken as the perp) investigates to find the real murderer so he can clear his name.
     
  20. blazenglory
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    blazenglory New Member

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    @ selbbin - Atleast youre being straight forward... and finding loopholes ...which is better than being diplomatic..I dont mind ... criticism should be taken in the right spirit.. trust me ..Im taking your advice seriously... thanks for your ideas and if you ave any more advice ..please let me know :) Ill work on it :) cheers mate :) Keep up the great work :)
     
  21. sanco
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    sanco Contributing Member

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    Yes, don't rush the shooting of the film if you have time to do another re-draft. Once you've locked off you're script, you'd be doing some pre-production stuff. Shotlists, storyboards, director's prep (I'm assuming you'll direct it). Is this like a school project or just a fun little thing you're gonna shoot with your friends?
     
  22. blazenglory
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    blazenglory New Member

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    [MENTION=52525]heal41hp[/MENTION] - Ill write again with one new plot ..hope you give me harsh criticism on it ... and if its a cliche ..please let me know ..ill work on it ..give me some time ..
     
  23. blazenglory
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    blazenglory New Member

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    [MENTION=53150]sanco[/MENTION] - I agree with you completely and hence im not shooting it . till I get my plot right and I got my team for this ... but more than technique, the story should work for me ... pre production as you said< ill get it done once the script is ready ..though i have some locations in my head and costing ... but ill write a new one ...give me your opinion .. Thank you :)
     

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