1. drayelya
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    drayelya Member

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    I'm in a real rut this time

    Discussion in 'Plot Development' started by drayelya, Jan 20, 2011.

    Ok, so on another post I said I was certain I wanted my main to destroy the world mid way through the story. Well...things have happened since then and now I am caught in indecision. There are other baddies trying to destroy the world as well and all of them are contending with my main while the good guys are trying to stop them. The issue is, I'm not sure if I want my main to fail in destroying the world and another bad guy does and continue from there.

    On the other hand I have another storyline where my main is being used by the so called 'good guys' because he has raw power in his body. In this storyline they are drawing his energy out to supply power for their entire planet. This is because he has entered in an agreement with them where he supplies power to the world and they let him take shelter there. There are also other people from his race and another race he knows on the planet he lives on. They have spread what they call 'the Truth' about my main character and some of the things he did before he came to this planet (he was an evil tyrant ruler). He is living a life trying to be normal but everyone rejects him and he barely understands what a joke is even. When monsters begin to appear from a rift that my main used to come to this world(the rift won't close)things only get worse since the creatures are very powerful and are Hell bent on destroying the world(people start blaming him). He himself is too weak to fight the monsters so another person from his race is called upon to fight them. Later on things begin to improve as my main finally begins to help in the battle against the fiends from his world.

    So what do you think? Its loud here and I cannot concentrate so forgive me if I make no sense...
     
  2. Mallory
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    Mallory Mallegory. Contributor

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    Hi,

    First of all, let me say that the bit about the monsters who enter through the rift is way cool.

    Okay, now for your question.....

    Initially, I like the idea of your MC destroying the world, but of course it depends on the context. If it's a matter of "Evil bad guy destroys the world and good guy has to save it," it might seem a little too predictable; on the other hand, if the original goal was to destroy the world, then having the villain do it instead of the MC would be better.

    I personally prefer when things don't go as planned for the MC. It makes the plot more interesting - I mean, come on. Not everyone who studies for a test gets the A. Not everyone who applies for a job gets it. Not everyone who wants to defeat the bad guys as planned does so.

    Think along the rule of "put your MC in a tree and throw rocks at him:" go from there.
     
  3. drayelya
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    drayelya Member

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    Alright, put my MC in a tree and throw some rocks at him...that could go several ways. Heh, well thats something I'd never thought about before so I'll definitely give it a try, thanks much!
     
  4. Mallory
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    Mallory Mallegory. Contributor

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    No problem, if you need more help just post back or PM me. :)
     
  5. drayelya
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    drayelya Member

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    OK miss Mallory I put my MC in a nearby tree and tossed some rocks at him but guess what...he fell out of the tree! I think I've figured out whats wrong with my character and every story I ever developed for him. I think its his back story, I was talking ideas over with a friend of mine and realized that my MC has three or four separate back stories that make no sense. So I put him in a tree and started throwing a few rocks and when I got to the rocks labeled "back story" he fell out ever time. Does the back story really have to make good sense when writing and how can I fix my problem? Thanks for all of the advice so far and I look forward to your reply if you see this message.
     
  6. Mallory
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    Mallory Mallegory. Contributor

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    Hi again!

    I'm a bit confused by what you're asking.

    Of course you shouldn't have 3 or 4 backstories that conflict each other, so if that's the case for you, then pick one backstory and go with it: you can combine some of your ideas, but make sure there are no conflicting pasts.

    Also, the rocks you throw at your treed MC shouldn't all be dependent on the backstory. I mean, most people have had one type of traumatic event or another in their life, but that doesn't mean that the majority of problems we face now relate to it (maybe a few, but not all). For this reason, you want to be careful with having your conflicts conjure up ghosts from the MC's past, because it can get cliche if you do it too much.

    What exactly do you mean by falling out of the tree -- can you be more specific with what the problem is?
     
  7. drayelya
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    drayelya Member

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    OK I'll try to be less confusing, sorry about that and UHG THERE'S THAT WORD AGAIN! Cliche means A trite or overused expression or idea OR A person or character whose behavior is predictable or superficial (got this from wiki answers) So what your saying is that I should focus more the future or present rather than the past?

    By the way how do I get a quote to show at the bottom of my post like everyone else?
     
  8. Mallory
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    Mallory Mallegory. Contributor

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    To quote, you hit the "quote" button at the bottom of the post. It's yellow with white writing.

    I can't say whether something is cliche based off of a summary. All I'm saying is that you shouldn't feel compelled to have all of the MC's problems relate to a problem in the past, because that *could be* cliche. However, whether something is cliche really depends on the specifics of the situation and on how you write it.

    Can you tell me what kinds of problems your MC had in the past and the problems he/she is having now? This way, I could be much more helpful. :)

    Thanks!
     
  9. drayelya
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    drayelya Member

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    OK thanks for the quote help but what I really meant was how do you have a quote by Emerson in your post is that something YOU do? Just wondering.


    I'll get the problems written down soon I have a few things to do first but I will get them to you soon.
     
  10. drayelya
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    drayelya Member

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    You don't have to if you don't want to but would you read my MC's short biography? Its easier for my to explain things that way...only if you want to though!
     
  11. Mallory
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    Mallory Mallegory. Contributor

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    Oh sorry my bad!!! For the signature thing, go your user CP, and hit "edit my details" and you should be able to make your signature in there.

    Where's your MC bio located? I'll see if I can find it.
     
  12. drayelya
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    drayelya Member

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    No its perfectly OK I wasn't clear enough(as usual lol) and my character's bio is on paper unfortunately so I am having to type it up real quick. Its a page front and back so if that doesn't scare you I can still type it and then copy and paste it for you.
     
  13. drayelya
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    OK here it is and if you have any questions I'd be more than happy to explain them. The end of the bio sort of drops off because my book picks up there so thats why the ending might seem strange and sorry if its a boring read. I'm not strong with these kind of things.






    Drayelya Untario Nexis was born to the royal family of Nexis the exact moment that Antiquity came to an end; midnight. His birth marked a change in the course of the three worlds but it was transparent to the peoples for barely a month after his birth a deep depression set into place. Money became scarce travel between worlds was impossible almost because it was so expensive and the working class was suffering beyond belief. Drayelya on the other hand was living a Life of luxury or so it seemed. His father, Rallik, had become drunk with greed and put the worlds even farther in their miserable state. Three years passed before rebellions began to take hold and Rallik turned to the bottle to cope with the stress of so many wars at once. The beatings started shortly after that and his mother, Filya, was just as bad as Rallik. While she didn’t beat Drayelya she was full of avarice and turned a blind eye to the beatings Drayelya received. All of this went on for three long years and no one knew because the boy stayed in his room and his mother insisted she care for him.

    On his sixth birth day Drayelya received yet another beating from his father and no party was thrown all like the years past. Though unbeknownst to all others change was in the air for a certain ex-king had made a silent return to Nexis. He was none other than Ahnas the Great King of Antiquity and Rallik’s father. The first place he went was the royal palace and demanded that Rallik step down as king for “it was Gods will”. Rallik completely dodged the statement, demanding to know where his father had been hiding for the past millennium. Ahnas repeated his statement and when Rallik refused blaspheming God lightning, as many described it, struck him down. Fiylia was also struck down and the palace destroyed by Ahnas after he was seen holding a conversation with an invisible entity. Many heard the voice but none saw the speaker before the palace was taken down. Drayelya was one of ten survivors who had fled the palace but as they entered the streets of the capital city Drayelya was separated from thee woman watching over him. The crowds had caused the separation and miraculously the boy was only lost and not trampled to death. Few knew his face because he was always confined and out of sight so he wandered around unhindered until he came to the slums of the city. Here he was severely beaten by a group of angry men who had recognized him and on the brink of death he was rescued by the woman he was soon to fall in Love with. At the time she was a young girl of sixteen, ten years older than him and not even Nexian. She was Itelian, the second race of the three, named Kirrianna. She had long beautiful white hair and cat like ears as well as a tail. She was among friends when she discovered him and she was also living at an academy on the far side of Nexis. She was visiting the capital on a trip of history and despite the protests of her friends she took the young boy back with her to the academy.

    At the academy Drayelya met the head master, a proud Nexian man who recognized Drayelya instantly. Seeing a golden opportunity he took the boy in as his child and began to put him through the academy classes. Drayelya proved to be highly intelligent for his age and also rather hateful towards other people except Kirrianna of course. He was soon taught manners though and he learned to control his mouth, especially around the other Nexian students and Emorians too. The Emorians were all towering people standing on average seven feet tall with powerful angelic wings. The Nexian students were like any other Nexian, possessing high power levels. Simply put the average Nexian boy could lift a ton or more easily so getting hit wasn’t exactly something to go for. Drayelya himself was weaker than most even as he grew older he failed to grow stronger and refused training not wanting to become like his father. It was troubling to the head master since he knew Drayelya would need to be strong if he were to one day ascend to the Nexian throne, which thanks to the warring nobles had remained unoccupied. So it was concluded that if Drayelya would not grow stronger himself then someone would have to protect him and act in his stead. The head master then assigned himself to this task as well.

    Life continued at the academy as normal for Drayelya and even when Kirrianna graduated she remained there with him. She had no where else to go as it was and like many others had become trapped on Nexis due to the seemingly endless depression. So the years passed and Drayelya finally came to be eighteen; the accepted age to attempt marriage. Kirrianna was twenty eight at the time and was still unmarried, denying all other suitors until Drayelya came of age. He intended to propose immediately on the day of his birth and called for Kirrianna to meet him in private on the third floor of the academy, which was deserted at the time due to reconstruction after two Nexian students had had a fight. Drayelya was already waiting for her and was daydreaming as it were, looking out the window. He was unsuspecting and that is when one of the men who had asked for Kirrianna’s hand already made his move. Ulisic, as he was named, emerged from hiding silently and attacked Drayelya with a beam of energy. The attack was flawless as it seemed but true Love was clearly the greater of the two forces. Kirrianna had arrived just in time and screaming her Love’s name she leaped in the way of the attack which struck her in the chest.

    Drayelya spun around to see Kirrianna on the floor bleeding to death and in tears he went straight to her side and held her in his shaking arms. Her last words to him were “One day you’ll have to keep her safe…don’t worry you’ll know her as soon as you see her.” she had said to him almost as if she was seeing a vision as she slowly died. Seconds after Kirrianna was dead and Drayelya was sobbing at the feet of her killer, Ulisic. It was like a nightmare but, for Ulisic it was a sad turn of events and he couldn’t have a witness now could he? He was standing over the boy about to end his Life but the hidden power inside Drayelya had other plans. His sadness had developed into pure Hatred and endless anger, unleashing his true strength. Ulisic was astounded beyond words as Drayelya’s power level soared to unimaginable heights. Seconds later a third of the top level of the academy was incinerated by a wave of energy and Ulisic with it. It caught everyone’s attention and they could see a figure flying away to the north. Drayelya was never found again but he was well. He had made his way to the nearest city and snuck on board a shuttle heading to the habitable moon called Yis. It was the head quarters of a Holy Sect of warriors called the Collision Knights. They were the strongest warriors of all and only on person a year was chosen from the Nexian race to rise up and train among them. Drayelya was never chosen as his very existence had been secret.

    When Drayelya arrived on the moon he met the young man named Vieal, the one chosen to train with the best. He was already one of the strongest men alive and as soon as he met Drayelya he had intent to turn him in to the knights. Drayelya went willingly into the abyss that would surely await him and an abyss it was. The order was set on executing him for defying their sacred law and stepping foot on the holy moon unwelcomed. Their plans were thwarted by the sudden reappearance of Ahnas. Though Drayelya despised him for leaving him to die, or so he thought, Ahnas instructed the order to train him and shape him into a true Nexian warrior. The order was given and carried out over the next five hundred years. Through rigorous, seemingly endless day to day training Drayelya was shaped into an unmatched warrior whose power had grown so that not even the oldest and strongest could stand against his might. Truly he had become strong with Veial close behind but not close enough. The two had become close friends over the years and when the time finally came for Nexis to have its rightful ruler returned Veial followed without hesitation. Drayelya descended to the world below and declared himself the rightful ruler as planned and was laughed at as if he were a mere commoner proclaiming nobility. It didn’t take long for the nobles to realize he was serious as they were all cut down. The courts were disassembled by Drayelya himself, and the counsel assembled as an auxiliary government was also disassembled, violently. To the nobles Drayelya was a cold murderer with not shame but to the people he was the ultimate liberator.

    Shortly after claiming the throne of Nexis Drayelya began to work on ending the current depression. He disregarded the old advisors and brought in ‘new’ advisors. His old head master was one such advisor, so was Veial and ten others from the working class. Slowly but surely the depression slipped away and Nexis flourished once again under the rule of her new king. Still, there were many issues yet to be resolved and one such issue was the war between Emoria and Itedge. While not warriors like the Nexians these two peoples were highly intelligent and warred in the expanse that separated the three worlds. They used powerful ships to do battle with one another and this presented a slight problem. They needed a way to confront them without using the same methods since Nexian technology was only about half as advanced. So Drayelya came up with an ingenious idea. He took one of the suits used by the Itelians during space travel that allowed them to stay alive in the airless expanse. With the suit as his guide he passed into the expanse, finally realizing just how big it really was. Nexis was like a tiny marble on the edge of the space cloud it and its sun were seated next to. In the center of the cloud was the threshold to the Gates of Hell but that was not his destination. He was headed towards Itedge with was over two hundred million miles away. He had chosen not to use a shuttle because he felt this method was safer and faster as well. He couldn’t have been more correct as he arrived in less than thirty minutes to see the fighting. The battle he was hoping to avoid was already taking place as Itedge began its last stand and Emoria began its merciless crusade; most Emorian believed the Itelains to be their mortal enemies.

    The battle continued until Drayelya arrived and was identified as an unknown target by both armies. Emoria assumed Nexis had sent a recon ship in plans of joining the fight; they had heard rumors of the new king wanting to put an end to the war but just laughed. Their technology was only matched by the Itelians but their numbers were not. A single ship was sent to deal with the ‘blip’ on the radar but the ship itself suddenly vanished itself. It was horrifying to the Emorian army as they again ‘assumed’ that Nexis had somehow developed a super weapon. They were close but not as close as they thought. Reports from fighters told them that a single ‘man’ was closing in on the fight and them moved to intercept in great number. Drayelya’s might was reasserted when he dispatched the fighters with one wave of energy. He started to drop enemy ships next and soon the Emorian fleet of one hundred thousand ships had dropped to less than six thousand. They immediately retreated to the relief of the Itelians but concern was raised once more as the ‘blip’ on their screen remained. Was it hostile or friendly? Their question was answered when Drayelya appeared on the bridge of the Itelian flagship as if from thin air; he had teleported. He assured them they were safe and requested ‘directions’ as it were to Emoria. They were given but as he was just about to leave they requested his name. He was reluctant but Drayelya removed his helmet to reveal his young face, blonde hair and crimson right eye and aqua blue left eye. He was the spitting image of his grand father Ahnas; he could have even passed as a twin. The Itelians thought so as well but were informed otherwise. With that he was off on the four hundred million mile trip to Emoria.

    As Drayelya left Itedge he faced back to see the threshold to the Mortal Realm. Rumors were that ‘stars’ could be seen beyond and sure enough they were and he had a longing to go there but it was forbidden by holy verdict. A barrier of unknown origin was also covering the threshold and repelled all who attempted to pass. That was the last look of Itedge he would have in a long time because every time he even thought about the planet painful memories of Kirrianna filled his mind. They almost made him cry moment he was alone and he still hadn’t met ‘her’, the one Kirrianna had spoken of making him wonder when he would. He thought about it the whole way to Emoria until he had to erect a field of energy around himself to keep tiny projectiles from piercing his suit. They were small rocks that led up to a large field of rocks he understood to be called asteroids. This was his sign that he was nearly there and rather than dodging the objects in his way he simply plowed through them, unwilling to slow down. He arrived a few moments after the asteroid field and was greeted by a second fleet of nearly one hundred thousand ships. He boarded the flagship and demanded that the Emorians halt their war against Itedge. He was answered with spit in his face and he calmly left the ship and then removed the fleet from his path.

    Drayelya arrived at Emoria shortly after to be greeted by yet another force but this one was rather small, maybe two thousand ships that were mainly light transports and construction ships. Unlike the previous group it made haste to lay its weapons down. Drayelya then proceeded to the planet itself, catching a glimpse of the threshold leading to the Gates of Heaven on the way down. The sight was so wondrous he was unable to find words as he looked up at it for nearly an hour. When he finally arrived on Emoria a ground force had assembled to challenge him but he decided to by pass the force and immediately attacked the governing body of Emoria. The members were all killed and then the religious groups called the Purifiers were also ended for starting the crusade. So it was that Emoria was left in turmoil until finally it called a meeting with Drayelya to discuss terms with a few remaining military leaders. The meeting was supposed to be a negotiation but Drayelya would have none of that. He demanded Emoria’s full surrender to Itedge or face worse consequences at his hands. The term was agreed to after nearly twenty four hours of arguing. He left the situation in the hands of Itedge after that and then proceeded home to Nexis. He had ended a war but at a great cost of many lives. He would not sleep well for sometime but he did what he had to do to resolve the issue.

    Time flowed on as Drayelya began to spend more time in the Nexis libraries of history, science, and theology. There was so much to learn and war was such a thing of the past now that he had all the time he wanted to read. Four hundred and eighty two years was the time he spent in the libraries until he finally came across a theory that made him go into a frenzy. According to the theory it was possible to pass through the threshold to Heaven and to the Gates of the sacred realm. He was so excited that he didn’t even inform anyone he was leaving, he just left. He put on a suit that allowed him to travel the expanse and immediately headed for Emoria. He arrived and instantly headed for the threshold with Hate at heart. He would make God pay for taking Kirrianna away from him and then he would find Kirrianna to take her back. Rage blinded him completely as he passed into the threshold and vanished, throwing the three worlds into turmoil once more. Nexis was in civil war and depression once more while Emoria made a second crusade against Itedge. It was utter chaos but it was soon to end once more. In Drayelya’s stead Veial had taken rule of Nexis and brought a peace that was hated by all of the people of the Third realm. When Drayelya finally emerged from the threshold to the Gates of Heaven he was cursed to never know sleep and to never eat for his body would reject the food he ingested yet still he lived. He suffered but he lived on all the same and made his way for Nexis. His arrival was unwelcomed and he realized that times had changed, by one hundred years. He was now eleven hundred years old now. The news hit him hard as he slowly made his way to the palace only to be met by guards.

    Veial had sensed Drayelya as he arrived on Nexis causing him to go into a sadistic state of excitement. He was going to finally show the world that HE was the true lord of Nexis by defeating Drayelya. He was wrong in so many ways. Even with the added affects of the demons that now infested his body he was easily swept aside by his old king. He was about to end Veial’s Life when a powerful energy signature caught his attention suddenly. It was a man who could have been Drayelya’s twin but he was not Ahnas. The malice, the evil, the darkness that surrounded him was a clear indication of who he was. He was the First Nexian, Viscel Irilun Nexis, the one who defied his Creator. As usual a battle ensued but Drayelya was crushed like a pebble being ground into dust and he attempted to flee. He teleported but was caught in the middle of Viscel’s final attack and the energy caused him to shift dimensions instantly. He was no longer in the Third realm on Nexis but on a strange unknown world when he awoke and to his surprise he was powerless to say the least. His power was gone and he was on a potentially hostile world what could be worse? He saw storm clouds in the distance and immediately headed for the nearest sign of Life he could find. The rain was on top of him by the time he finally arrived to a small village and what he saw was horrific to his eyes. Though the people looked as he looked and they were all…mortal.
     
  14. Mallory
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    Mallory Mallegory. Contributor

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    Can you please edit this and split it up into short paragraphs with spaces in between? :D Otherwise there's no way my eyes can handle it, no matter how awesome I'm sure it is. Thanks!
     
  15. Mallory
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    Mallory Mallegory. Contributor

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    Okay, I've just read through it and it seems good. Very thorough -- that's much more character planning than I do before I write. :)

    Is there something specific about your character that you need help with?
     
  16. drayelya
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    drayelya Member

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    OK, I've edited the paragraphs so they are separated and so sorry about that I didn't realize it came out that way. I was in a hurry, we were clearing the snow from the drive way. As for my character, I had said earlier that I couldn't seem to find a good plot for him because of his back story. Well I've sorted it out now thanks to you and is the biography good enough to be a back story? I want to base my plot mainly on his past but I don't want it to seem 'cliche'. There that word is again, geez it just seems to haunt me now...

    I was wondering if you might have any suggestions maybe, based on what you now know about him?
     
  17. Mallory
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    Mallory Mallegory. Contributor

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    If you're basing your story mainly on the past, be careful not to have too many infodumps. Weave the facts in naturally. Don't go on a huge diatribe in which you explain his childhood.

    Flashbacks can work too, but only when they happen naturally. For example, try to avoid phrases like "His mind wandered back to three years ago" and "He drifted off and began to remember." Just give us something to spark the flashback (i.e. a broken shard of glass in the trashcan reminds him of a broken windshield from a car crash) and jump straight into the scene. Try to avoid transition phrases. Write flashback scenes as though they were happening in real time.

    Suggestions -- just write the story. You've got enough information established about it. Now, write. :)
     
  18. drayelya
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    drayelya Member

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    OK, so write in real time with flash backs, try to avoid unnatural phrases or actions and then just write...I've never had someone tell me to just write it. I guess I am being to particular, thank you again Mallory and I hope that I have another chance to speak with you again I've learned a lot from you. Thank you very much.
     
  19. Mallory
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    Mallory Mallegory. Contributor

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    Hey no problem. Best of luck to you and I hope to see you published some day. :) There are lots of people out there who say "I want to be a writer," but then they don't do anything. Be the active person. Step up. Write. No one stops you but you. :)
     

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