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  1. CollegeBound816
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    CollegeBound816 New Member

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    Is this a good sentence Outline?

    Discussion in 'Word Mechanics' started by CollegeBound816, Sep 12, 2008.

    I. Benjamin Franklin accomplished many things in his eighty four years.
    A. He was a recognized inventor
    1. He invented the stove, bifocals, and the lightening rod
    2. He invented a draft for the fireplace and a combination chair and step ladder for the kitchen.
    B.. Benjamin Franklin was a city-planner as well
    1. He reorganized the British Post Office, established a plice system, and fire control organization.
    2. He was a key element in giving his city a hospital and library.
    C. Benjamin Franklin was a military strategist
    1. He helped defend his colony from a French and Indian attack
    2. He led men to supervise the construction of three important forts.
    D. Benjamin Franklin was a very active statesman
    1. He was a member of the committee that drew up the Declaration of Independence
    2. He was a delegate to the Constitutional Conventeion
    3. He was also a popular and very valuable ambassador to England and France for twenty-five years.


    I realize that you cant see where the outline is coming from, i just want to make sure like i put Benjamin Franklin, and HE in the right places to sound right. Any advice would be great. Thank you
     
  2. marina
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    marina Contributing Member Contributor

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    I don't see any problems with it, except you need a hyphen:
    eighty-four years

    Also, since you're using sentences for your outline, you need to have a period at the end of each sentence. I prefer topic outlines myself where you just have a word or a brief phrase that are like bullet points instead of full sentences for each heading.
     
  3. Cogito
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    Cogito Former Mod, Retired Supporter Contributor

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    This looks way too much like a homework assignment. In any case, you aren't asking a general SPAG question, you are asking us to comment on a piece of writing, regardless of how it's laid out.

    As a writing sample posted for comments, it would have to be posted in the Review Room.

    But you may not seek help on your homework on the site at all.
     
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