1. doggiedude
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    doggiedude Contributing Member

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    looking for a decent description

    Discussion in 'Setting Development' started by doggiedude, Mar 29, 2016.

    I have a scene where a man is at a cafeteria table watching his adult daughter getting them lunch.
    His wife has died many years ago & I want him to be comparing his daughter to how much she looks like her mother in a wistful sort of way. He's in a very nostalgic mood. These are going to be internal dialogue thoughts.
    Any ideas?
     
  2. peachalulu
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    peachalulu Contributing Member Reviewer Contributor

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    Well peoples looks are always out there to take notice of so I'd maybe start with a gesture or action that really reinforces how in this moment she reminds him of his wife, her mother. You could bring in the looks but I'd maybe start with a gesture.
    My aunt is really starting to look like her mother, my grandmother, but what reinforces that impression is her laugh. Occasionally she laughs just like her mother.
     
  3. doggiedude
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    doggiedude Contributing Member

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    Great idea .... I came up with this. (Luis is in a Scifi version of a wheelchair)

    Luis left her to her task and wound his chair through the maze of tables until he found an open place for them. As he looked at his little girl he saw her sniffing closely at one of her selections. Tereza used to do the same thing, he found himself comparing Enedia to her mother. They were so similar in appearance if not personality. Tereza had been a wonderfully warm person, Enedia was more attached to her computers and machines than she had ever been with another person.
     
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  4. sahlmi
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    sahlmi Active Member

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    You said "looks like." If you mean that specifically, I would agree with peachalulu in that I would go with almost anything besides appearance, or at least make it secondary.
     
  5. sahlmi
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    sahlmi Active Member

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    Ooops we were typing at the same time. Nevermind.
     
  6. peachalulu
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    peachalulu Contributing Member Reviewer Contributor

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    Good!
    Not sure you need this part though as it's rather implied what he's doing. Could start the next sentence with a She
     

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