1. aguywhotypes
    Offline

    aguywhotypes Active Member

    Joined:
    Jul 24, 2013
    Messages:
    183
    Likes Received:
    77
    Location:
    Millersburg, Ohio, United States

    need help with medieval/lite fantasy story.

    Discussion in 'Plot Development' started by aguywhotypes, May 29, 2015.

    The basics of the story goes like this:

    The Lord of the manor is dying and when he was in his prime used to be quite the treasure hunter in his day.
    He got almost to this, what he believes, is supposed to be this ultimate treasure spot but was defeated by some big bad thing and barely escaped for his life.
    He decides to set this up like a game and calls for the best 4 to come forth and try to go out for this treasure. It's basically either you get the treasure or your dead kind of thing.
    OH, and if you do succeed and bring the treasure back before the Lord dies (time limit/counting down clock mechanism) then you get to move up from being the low rung peasant to someone who gets to work in the Lord's manor house.

    now, this is where it all goes down the drain for me.

    so then off he goes for the treasure (maybe the old Lord gives him a treasure map, old hard to read, etc) and now what?

    either I'm not feeling it, or am not creative enough... but wouldn't' it be like go down the path, obstacle 1, ob2, ob3, etc until the big bad dragon and then take the treasure home. to me this sounds boring!

    This linear path seems boring... anything I can read that would show me how to do this correctly? or tips? or ??

    Thanks.
     
  2. Bryan Romer
    Offline

    Bryan Romer Contributing Member Contributor

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2014
    Messages:
    891
    Likes Received:
    381
    Perhaps the "big bad thing" is actually not a thing but a group of people who have their own reason to guard the treasure? Perhaps the treasure is not just money but has another significance? Perhaps there are others also looking for the treasure and have their own plans for the 4? Perhaps one of the 4 isn't what he seems? Perhaps the Lord isn't really dying?
     
  3. Lea`Brooks
    Offline

    Lea`Brooks Contributing Member Contributor

    Joined:
    May 11, 2013
    Messages:
    2,613
    Likes Received:
    1,714
    Location:
    Virginia, United States
    The only suggestion I can really give is to have the four looking at the same time. But they see your main character (as well as each other) as a threat, someone in their way to prevent them from finding the treasure and moving up in the ranks. Maybe they purposely put your character on the wrong track. Or they set up traps to try to kill or disable him. Maybe once they get closer, there's a fight between them and the others either die or concede.

    You could even go National Treasure style and use clues instead of a map. That way everyone has to rely on their intelligence to find it, not just their skill in following a map. If you haven't seen that movie, I'd recommend watching it.

    Good luck!
     
  4. Commandante Lemming
    Offline

    Commandante Lemming Contributing Member Contributor

    Joined:
    May 8, 2014
    Messages:
    1,241
    Likes Received:
    1,000
    The funny thing is that the premise reminds me of the movie "Rat Race" - which is a total screwball comedy - but what makes it funny is that the people who are racing to find the money all get ridiculously sidetracked and off course. Instead of a race it kind of becomes a demolition derby.
     
  5. aguywhotypes
    Offline

    aguywhotypes Active Member

    Joined:
    Jul 24, 2013
    Messages:
    183
    Likes Received:
    77
    Location:
    Millersburg, Ohio, United States
    yes, I have seen that move and I loved it!

    I was thinking more on the lines of The Goonies, they found a treasure map in the attic and off they went. I loved that movie as well.

    I also thought maybe as the Lord is telling them about the treasure he dies right on the spot and all they get are clues/part of the puzzle.
     
    Commandante Lemming likes this.
  6. aguywhotypes
    Offline

    aguywhotypes Active Member

    Joined:
    Jul 24, 2013
    Messages:
    183
    Likes Received:
    77
    Location:
    Millersburg, Ohio, United States
    LOL, the rat race. I did see that one. loooong time ago. I forget how it went.. I need to watch that again.
     
  7. Commandante Lemming
    Offline

    Commandante Lemming Contributing Member Contributor

    Joined:
    May 8, 2014
    Messages:
    1,241
    Likes Received:
    1,000
    Yeah I actually never got to the end of the movie funny enough. Keep meaning to re-watch and see who won.

     
  8. Mordred85
    Offline

    Mordred85 Active Member

    Joined:
    May 26, 2015
    Messages:
    204
    Likes Received:
    74
    This also reminds me of the Excalibur movie. He made a similar quest for the Holy Grail. Many died, but Percival found the treasure. Arthur drank from the chalice and claimed to be rejuvenated. Maybe this can be incorporated in some way?

    Also, when I think of a "big bad thing", I wonder if maybe you're considering something like Shelob from Lord Of The Rings? It was the giant spider who had a lair in Cirith Ungol. A pass that went through the mountains, entering Mordor.

    And, what if there's a mysterious band of rogues who pose as highwaymen and steal whatever map these four guys were given.

    Hope any of my suggestions at least spark some creativity for you to continue writing.

    Good luck
     
  9. aguywhotypes
    Offline

    aguywhotypes Active Member

    Joined:
    Jul 24, 2013
    Messages:
    183
    Likes Received:
    77
    Location:
    Millersburg, Ohio, United States
    yeah, good stuff. I want to get them down in some caves/dungeon something underground. I'm a sucker for tunnels, etc.
    I like getting the map stolen.
    I also like Indiana Jones/NT - where you have to find keys or play something on a piano or turn this knob and pull this doohickey over here and then this opens up, etc.

    maybe what I'm really looking for is pulp goes medieval? Ha! I like that idea.
     
    Mordred85 likes this.
  10. Phil Partington
    Offline

    Phil Partington Member

    Joined:
    May 29, 2015
    Messages:
    90
    Likes Received:
    48
    Location:
    Washington state

    You've probably figured this out by now, but here are some thoughts:

    First, why are these participants of the game dead if they don't retrieve the item? Why can't they simply quit or fail? He failed and didn't die, so what...he'll have them killed if they return? Probably not your main question, though.

    I think what you're missing (at least at the point where you're looking for help) is some twist tossed into the mix to break up the linearity of the story. Perhaps the MC runs into someone who can help him...perhaps he doesn't trust this character. Maybe this character claims to be able to read the hard-to-read map, or maybe knows some things about navigating the difficult terrain ahead. What you seem to have is an overarching plot/conflict, but not a personal one. What you need to ask yourself is who is this MC? What's his crack in the egg, so to speak? How/when can and will he face this crack in the egg and overcome it to grow as an individual? That's where your story can become something that stands on its own. Readers relate to characters first, plot lines second, from what agents and pubbers tell me.

    Good luck!
     
  11. Shadowfax
    Offline

    Shadowfax Contributing Member Contributor

    Joined:
    Aug 27, 2014
    Messages:
    2,504
    Likes Received:
    1,337
    1/ Reminds me (and I'm an Arthurian junkie) of The Hunger Games

    2/ Promoted from peasant to working in the manor house?
    a/ Wow! What a promotion! (Dripping with sarcasm)
    b/ How does a peasant find enough spare hours in the day to go a-questing for treasure?

    3/ The best 4? In competition with each other? So they'll all need a photocopy of the treasure map?
     

Share This Page