1. CrystalDreamer59
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    CrystalDreamer59 Active Member

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    Need Some Opinions

    Discussion in 'General Writing' started by CrystalDreamer59, Sep 26, 2013.

    I have this idea for a series of stories that take place in the near future (2059 to be exact) in which the earth has become a utopia. However it is eventually discovered that there is a secret group that wants the earth back to the way it was before it became a utopia. Soon there is a war between those who want the world to be a utopia and those who don't. In the end the group (haven't come up with a name for the group yet since I'm only in the pre-writing stages.) is defeated and the world goes back to being a utopia. I'm unsure if people would be interested in reading a story like this as I have noticed that most of you who write stories about the near future write about a much darker version of the near future in which there is a lot of war. So I was wondering from my brief description what do you think about my idea? What ways can I improve it? Please constructive criticism only.
     
  2. peachalulu
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    peachalulu Contributing Member Reviewer Contributor

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    I think it might be a nice change from the dystopia fiction. You're only tough part is to decide why the group wants to revert back to the old ways
    without slandering your utopia state. For instance in Logan's Run their utopia had everyone able to do what they pleased when they pleased because the city was run by robots and machines cateering to their every need. ( now in that story the piper had to be paid by death at 30 - in the books I think it was death at 20 ) A small group had a reason for wanting to otherthrow their Utopia ( actuality a dystopia ) but if you take away the element of death at thirty you have to have a reason why anyone would rebel. Sheer boredom, bloodlust, power, status?
     
  3. jazzabel
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    jazzabel Contributing Member Contributor

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    Your idea is so brief and non-specific that it is difficult to say anything about it. It could be poorly thought out, or well thought out, boring or interesting, it is impossible to tell. What is missing, for me, is motivations and specifics. It's all very broad and vague. You need to think this through in much more detail, decide why the reader would care about the plot or the characters, and then ask this question again. Bottom line, you really don't need anyone's opinion in order to tell a story.
     
  4. EdFromNY
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    EdFromNY Hope to improve with age Supporter Contributor

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    Two thoughts.

    First, as Cogito likes to (and probably will before long) say, an idea by itself means nothing. It's what you do with it that counts. To that I would add that any improvement will come with the actual writing of it, and I can guarantee that new aspects and nuances will occur to you as you write it.

    Second, that said, my only comment would be how on earth do you plan on getting from this in 2013 (an unpromising time if ever there was one) to worldwide utopia in a mere 46 years?! Now, that would make a helluva story.
     
  5. GingerCoffee
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    GingerCoffee Web Surfer Girl Contributor

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    It does seem like a monumental task to come up with the mechanism for such a change and without one, the plot would have a giant hole.

    It might be easier to come up with the motive for sabotaging a utopia, religious or other ideological extremism comes to mind. You'd need to make the reader care about these matters, also a difficult task for a writer.
     
  6. Alesia
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    Alesia Pen names: AJ Connor, Carey Connolly Contributor

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    "Second, that said, my only comment would be how on earth do you plan on getting from this in 2013 (an unpromising time if ever there was one) to worldwide utopia in a mere 46 years?! Now, that would make a helluva story."

    Alternate timeline maybe? The world of 2013 in the OP's book may be vastly different from ours. However, If they are using our 2013, I'd love to see how such a change took place. That I would buy.
     
  7. EdFromNY
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    EdFromNY Hope to improve with age Supporter Contributor

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    Well, the OP did say "Earth". It seemed reasonable to assume he meant this one, here and now. And even if he did mean an alternate timeline, it seems to me he'd still have to explain how it happened. That would be a book in itself.
     
  8. CrystalDreamer59
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    CrystalDreamer59 Active Member

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    Since many of you are asking about a back story on how the world became a utopia in only 46 years I am working on that and there will be a book in the series that deals with the back story. So far I have planned That a young couple who want a better world go in search of the true leader of the earth who they believe will bring the earth into a new age. Eventually they befriend a young woman about their age who turns out to be the spirit of the earth in human form and thus the true leader of the earth. Eventually after some convincing the young woman is made queen of earth and unites all the countries into one big country and with the young couple she begins to write a strict set of laws called the warrior code (a code to keep the world a utopia) and makes the young couple her top warriors, a group who's job is to make sure the warrior code is being followed.
    As for the group (which I still have yet to give a name) their motive is they want freedom. They think the warrior code is too strict and should be more lenient and that the laws were better before the world became a utopia.
     
  9. GingerCoffee
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    GingerCoffee Web Surfer Girl Contributor

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    You might want to switch to a fantasy world for that. Unless you are implying the Messiah or something, and that opens up a whole new can of worms.

    Except, I just finished reading "Childhood's End" by Arthur C Clarke and in that story some "overlords" from space came and imposed a utopia on Earth.
     
  10. erebh
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    erebh Contributing Member Contributor

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    Just make it 3059... and don't use the word 'utopia' 4 times in the first paragraph :)
     
  11. mammamaia
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    mammamaia nit-picker-in-chief Contributor

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    ditto that!

    what you say takes place can't possibly take place in 46 years without a huge helping hand from magic or aliens...
     
  12. Alesia
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    Alesia Pen names: AJ Connor, Carey Connolly Contributor

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    [​IMG]

    Couldn't hep it
     
    ChaosReigns and Thornesque like this.
  13. killbill
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    killbill Contributing Member

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    where the mind is without fear...
    Reminds me of the sex scene in Demolition Man demolition-man-stallone-bullock-virtual-sex.jpg

    To the original query if I would like to read futuristic Utopia story... oh yes! But please no scene like the above :)
     

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