1. MadameDaae
    Offline

    MadameDaae New Member

    Joined:
    May 26, 2008
    Messages:
    11
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Mainly at my computer, typing

    New idea

    Discussion in 'Plot Development' started by MadameDaae, May 26, 2008.

    Here are my characters-/ a breif passage about them.

    Rose- 16yrs./17 by the end. Lives in London, then mother drags to a bording school in Russia. Beautiful, kind, charming, lively, loving, tempermantal, rties to hid her rebel side behind being well-bred. Born on August23, 1800. Full name- Rose Antoine de Travers. Falls in love with the stable boy.

    Stable boy(Mark)- loves Rose. Creative, handsome, friendly, reserved, 17/18 yrs, stable boy for Rose's wealthy family. Scared of Rose's mother and sister. dob:April 25, 1799.Loves reading and writing.

    Roses Mother- Sarah- Left Rose right after she was born. Had Sarah when 15. now is 31/32. Loves the finer things in life. Hates Mark and Rose. Looks a bit to much like Rose's Friend-Delilah

    Delilah-16 yrs. Meets Rose at the bording school. Fav. expression-I know. Clever, power hunger. When she finds out Rose has greater power then her over the elves sghe throws a fit.

    Elva- Rose's enmy.

    Elfreda-16yrs. old elf, who loves people. Wealthy, and one of the few who knows that Rose is to inherit the Queen of the Elves.

    Xavier- Secertly an elf, who is attempting to court Rose, against Mark's wishes, at the end they run away tougher and marry. 16 yrs. Kind, gentel.
    HANDSOME!!!!

    PLOT-

    Rose recalls her life as she knew it before, as she walks down the streets of London on a snowy day looking for an insperation for her new book. It really starts out at her debut ball, on her sixteenth b-day. Her and the rich Lady Cynthia talk about which of she suitors-William, Xavier, or John- should properly court her. By the end of the night they settle on William, but she still want Mark or Xavier. In chapter 2 she is home meeting with Mark in the Stables. They pledge their love to eachother and kiss, only to be caught by Rose's mother showing back up. Chapter 3-Rose's mother tells her that they shall be traveling to Russia, and she'll be going to Russia.

    TWO MONTHS LATER- Part 2-RUSSIA

    Chapter 4-They are nearing the boarding school, Rose's mother didn't go with her, she just sent her older sister with her. Chapter 5- She meets the head missterss and Delilah, her roomate, who has all the same classes. By chap. 6 Rose is agussting to life at the boarding school and relizes how happy Delilah is having tons of power overevery body, she has some sort of magic... Chapter 7- Travels home for a week. Is farther courted by William, Xavier pays a call, and Mark kisses her in front of both William and Xavier to breck up their fighting over her. Chapter 8-Meets the elves, who look like her and live in a huge empire behind the school. She meets Xavier there and relizes that he is an Elf, too.

    PART 3-
    Chapter 9-Talks about her love for Xavier, who she now goes to see on a nightly bases. Chapter 10- Learns how to ride a dragon- the elves means of attack, and is horriable at it. Chapter 11- A huge battle bracks out. Chapter 12-Xavier gives a propusal of marriage, and she eccpts. Chapter 13- Delilah stricks Rose during the battle, Rose is forced to fight her on a dragon, after her leg is broken. Chapter 14- Xavier is killed. Chapter 15- She learns that if she can harness the powers she posses she can save him before he truely dies, he was only wonded severly. Chapter 15- Brings Xavier back to life. Takes her rightful position as the Elf's Queen.
     
  2. Lucy E.
    Offline

    Lucy E. Contributing Member

    Joined:
    May 25, 2008
    Messages:
    898
    Likes Received:
    4
    Sounds interesting!
    However, plots very similar to this one have been written many times before, so you'll need to throw in a few original twists!
    :)
     
  3. Al B
    Offline

    Al B Senior Member

    Joined:
    May 20, 2008
    Messages:
    176
    Likes Received:
    10
    I can see a few problems; nothing you cannot sort out, but among those I think you need to think about:

    A lowly stable lad during the reign of King George the III that can read and write seems doubtful in the extreme. He seems to serve very little purpose as a character in view of the fact that your main character falls in love with him and then is suddenly not in the least bit bothered about leaving him. He just kind of tails off into nothing.

    How does this Xavier dude end up in Russia, when he was in England? More importantly, why do any of them end up in Russia? There seems no clearly discernable reason for it. However, if you give the characters a connection with Britain's Royal family, you could make this work, since the Russian Tsar at the time (Alexander 1) was related to the British Royal family, being the fourth cousin of Victoria (later the queen), who coincidentally was born in 1819, so, if you shift your story forward a year or so, you could have an interesting sub text regarding accession to the throne, based on real events and the events in your tale, which might be quite a nice thing to do with your tale. And it would give your trips to Russia and back a genuine believable reason for happening which do not telegraph your 'elf' elements to the reader.

    A huge battle breaks out - why, and against whom? Again, you could sub text this again real life events, which is an interesting plot device to employ in fiction and fantasy.

    She is appalling at riding a dragon, breaks her leg, this Xavier dude is killed, but she ends up a queen, how? That sounds more like they lost this battle than won it, so how would she end up as a queen in such circumstances? There are a number of other problems in the way of her becoming queen. If being queen is your main protagonist's 'rightful position', that would surely have to be by hereditary means, which would have to transpire through the death of one, or both of her parents, and even then succession would not pass to her, because you said whe had an older sister, who by definition, would be next in line to a throne.

    These glitches jumped out at me, nothing that can't be sorted, but I think they do need sorting.

    Al
     

Share This Page