1. Wreybies
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    Wreybies The Ops Pops Operations Manager Staff Contest Administrator Supporter Contributor

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    Nonsense

    Discussion in 'Writing Prompts' started by Wreybies, Apr 21, 2010.

    Ok, this game came to me after a conversation I participated in and the statement came up and struck me as rather odd. I know there is an unstated portion that gives the statement a modicum of sense, but the wording as it is is rather silly.

    In the event that you should lose the card or the card is stolen, there is a
    number on the back of the card you should call in order to report the loss or
    theft.



    :confused:


    What nonsense have you heard? :D
     
  2. Halcyon
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    Halcyon Contributing Member Contributor

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    Reminds me of a sign I once seen in the middle of a patch of grass which said simply "Do Not Remove This Sign".

    I'll bet that some daredevil eventually did! ;)
     
  3. Cogito
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    Cogito Former Mod, Retired Supporter Contributor

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    An old standard:

    This space intentionally left blank.
     
  4. black-radish
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    black-radish Senior Member

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    My internet didn't work.. I looked up in a manual and it said: "Download the newest version of blah blah"

    How was I supposed to do that offline? :p
     
  5. Cogito
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    Cogito Former Mod, Retired Supporter Contributor

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    What about unpacking instructions for a piece of equipment, carefully stored in the ziplock bag of documentation at the very deepest part of the package?
     
  6. NathanBrazil
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    NathanBrazil Member

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    [​IMG]
     
  7. Wreybies
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    Wreybies The Ops Pops Operations Manager Staff Contest Administrator Supporter Contributor

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    Apply, lather, rinse, repeat.

    Repeat? :confused:

    Has anyone every actually repeated?
     
  8. NathanBrazil
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    NathanBrazil Member

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    "mensa" - lol won't keep caps.
     
  9. Cogito
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    Cogito Former Mod, Retired Supporter Contributor

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    What exactly IS a "lifetime guarantee." It doesn't usually seem to mean the lifetime of the purchaser. Is it the lifetime of the company? Or is it the lifetime of the product?

    "We promise, it'll last as long as it lasts."
     
  10. CharlieVer
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    CharlieVer New Member Contributor

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    I think of these frequently but can never remember them later. Now I'm going to have to carry a little notebook around or something...

    I'm not sure if this counts. It sort of counts.

    Remember the Flintstones?

    The theme music at the end tells us that may be some day, Fred will win the fight, and the cat will stay out for the night. The cartoon always shows Fred throwing the Sabre-tooth tiger out, then the "cat" jumps in the window and throws him out.

    :confused: The Flintstones didn't have a cat on a single episode of the actual cartoon that I recall.

    Charlie
     
  11. tcol4417
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    tcol4417 Member

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    "He who rules from highest heaven: He knows, or he may not know." - Rg Vedas [Bill Bailey]

    "If we enact an alcopop tax, less people will drink alcohol and the government will get more money from sales taxes."
    "But how do you make money if people aren't buying them?"
    "...(Shut up.)" - Prime Minister Kevin Rudd (Australia)

    Girl: "I have solved the mystery of life! Women are crazy and men are stupid."
    Boy1: "Wait, why are we stupid now?"
    Boy2: "Because you don't understand crazy people." - Three Panel Soul

    Religion, Politics and Sex - three topics of conversation that inevitably lead to an argument. Go team.
     
  12. Cogito
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    Cogito Former Mod, Retired Supporter Contributor

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    On my email once at work: "Let me know if you don't get this message."

    I swear, someone actually wrote that in an email!
     
  13. Shadow Reeves
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    Shadow Reeves Contributing Member

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    on my phone network it costs you credit to ring and complain, so if you are out of credit you cant complain about it.
     
  14. Meliha
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    Meliha Member

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    On the money it says: Bank of England: "I promise to pay the barer on demand the sum of five/ten/twnty/etc pounds" So if I go to the bank of England and 'demand', they promise to do what exactly? Give me another note? What the heck is that promise?

    Time is money ??? Err I don't think so; I'm pretty sure time existed even before money was invented?

    A cigs company run a scratchcards promotion - so on the outter package it said: "Smoking kills", but when you open it it said "Have you just opened one of our lucky life changing boxes? scratch and find out!" - I honestly thought of Hamlet and the whole 'to be or not to be' :D
     
  15. black-radish
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    black-radish Senior Member

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    I love this one, wasn't really sure if it fits here.. but it's funny.

    [​IMG]
     
  16. Xeno
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    Xeno Mad and Bitey Contributor

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    "Position Open: Advertisement Designer

    Designer needed to design employment opportunity advertisments"

    No joke.
     
  17. Meliha
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    Meliha Member

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    I just got this in an e-mail :D --- the only problem is. If you say 'time and money' I think mathematically that's 'time + money', not 'time x money'
     
  18. Prometheus21
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    Prometheus21 Member

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    I was listening to the radio the other day and it was about how the current generation is addicted to the internet and how it is a serious psychological problem. Evidently there is also a support group called "Internet Addicts Anonymous." You can join internet rehab groups that will help you work through your problems.

    Just go to the following website to register...



    I think I see the problem here. :rolleyes:
     
  19. garmar69
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    garmar69 Contributing Member Contributor

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    How about the fact that there are instructions there at all? I figure if you can't figure shampoo out, then the odds that you'll be able to manipulate the hot/cold knobs are slim at best. :D

    And how about the warning not to microwave your new cell phone? :eek:
     
  20. Prometheus21
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    Prometheus21 Member

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    The sad thing is that if there is a warning not to do it, it's probably because someone, at some point, did.
     
  21. sidtvicious
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    sidtvicious Contributing Member Contributor

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    nutrition facts on bottled water.
     
  22. Lydia
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    Lydia Contributing Member Contributor

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    What about those little fake gemstones you can stick on clothing? I read by the instructions: Do not apply to eyeball.
     
  23. CharlieVer
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    CharlieVer New Member Contributor

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    I was just reading an online article about a study of some 19th century skeletons and what they tell us about life in Great Britain at the time.

    Below one picture of a skeleton, the caption read, "This skeleton belongs to a 18-25 year old mother-to-be."

    She's a mother-to-be? Really? I'll have to congratulate her. So when is she going to be a mother? It's been a long wait already.

    Charlie
     
    1 person likes this.
  24. Shadow Reeves
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    Shadow Reeves Contributing Member

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    thats not silly. it means she died preggers.


    what is silly: news report that said an L plate driver (learner in australia) was caught five times over the legal limit of alcohol. - which for an Learner in australia is 0...5x0 =?
     
  25. riverbank
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    riverbank Member

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    Asking for directions in Boston ...

    "You can't get there from here."
     

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