1. Genious in Orange
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    Genious in Orange New Member

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    Oh noes! I'm stuckers!

    Discussion in 'Plot Development' started by Genious in Orange, Jul 17, 2007.

    It's a sad day in my own personal bubble, seeing as the plot of my book has come to a screeching halt. Right now the only things set in stone are the facts that my main characters have muddled up Elven-Human blood, which ticks off the evil Elf king, Aleksandrew. It's also set in stone that a chief character, Blaese, fathers twin sons Lucien and Petros who bring Aleksandrew's 4000 year tyrannical reign to an end, and that one is Jerrashal, the fighting champion in a gladiator-like sense, while the other is a pure-hearted scholarly man.

    Lucien and Petros where prophesized by a dying sorceress in the presence of Aleksandrew and Blaese. Naturally, he told Blaese, who happens to be one of his guard, and so his slave, that he may have a wife and have daughters, but his sons will be murdered. Then Blaese comes up with a plan to save his twin sons and yakity yak yak, then BAM!!!

    The plot goes to halting.

    Any help?

    -Genious in Orange
     
  2. Edward
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    Edward Active Member

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    So let me see what you're saying:
    Dying lady tells her body guard, "hey, you're gonna have some kids, but all your sons are gonna die. The girls are fine though." and then he points to the other guy in the room and says "oh yeah, they're also gonna kill you." (I'm assuming this is happening after the Elf-King kills her? which would explain the bad guy and the bodyguard being there. Unless she just had cancer or was old and the bad guy was there for some other reason)
    Also their half elves, which also ticks off the nazi like Elf-king.
    One son is a warrior, the other's a mage.
    Both are going to die because they're the bodyguards son and it's in the prophecy.
    Blaese doesn't want his sons to die, cause then he wouldn't have anyone at bring your son to work day.
    Is the that about right?

    He could dress them up like girls and have them act like girls. Though, that really only would work for the scholarly one... I mean, I'm imagining the warrior pretending to be a girl, and that looks like Conan in a dress with a sword and a mug of beer.
     
  3. Genious in Orange
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    Genious in Orange New Member

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    Let's try this...

    Old lady sorceress is being beaten by guards because she refuses to prophesize for Aleksandrew, who has kept her captive since she was a little girl and Blaese is sent to go and get Aleksandrew, because everyone sees him as expedible and think the king will kill him because he bears such dreadful news.

    Instead, Aleksandrew promises Blaese a wife if he's telling the truth, and promises to kill him if he's not. When they arrive back where they are beating the old sage, he kicks her and she starts her death prophecy with her dying breaths, as is the coustom of dying sorcerers and sorceresses in the kingdom where all this is set, Aerynia.

    In the prophecy the woman rattles off the names of Blaese's ancestors right down to Blaesus, then makes it clear about "Fragile fingers shall come to heal us," and "A tiny heart with blood to bleed for us," meaning that a baby from Blaese's line will be the savior of Aerynia. It's then made clear its two babies when the names Lucien and Petros are spoken about the savior.

    When they leave, Aleksandrew, mind warped with fear but not quite enough to go back on his word, chokes Blaese saying he'll be given his wife and the right to have children, but when he hears of sons born to Blaese, he'll see to their murder, and if they are found after being hidden and growing, that he will see to both the sons and father being murdered.

    After those events, somehow Blaese manages to save his twin sons from the wrath of Aleksandrew and sends them to his home village of Rurai where the boys, obviously named Lucien and Petros, are raised by grandparents Orien and Karia.

    Then, somehow or another, Lucien finds himself in a position of enslavement akin to being a gladiator and Petros in a position of apprenticeship to their grandfather, a wise man who is over 100 years old.

    After that, it's all in the air.

    Oh, and he doesn't want his sons dead because currently he is the end of a great line of men in Rurai, more or less like a prince in his home village, and because so much rides on having male children in Aerynia to pass down secret family names. Women are not permitted to know these names at all and other men outside of families aren't allowed to know these names either. Right now one in the family is only told the name under certain, unspecified circumtances.
     
  4. Crazy Ivan
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    Crazy Ivan Contributing Member

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    Alright, everything I'm about to post I wrote BEFORE you made your most recent post (Unexpected drum lesson got in the way) but still, take it into consideration. Here's what I had:

    ---

    Try and be original. Everything you have up till now is running on cliches and things that have been done to death. So if you want to continue the plot AND differentiate yourself from the field of other corny fantasy writers, abandon all fears and take the story in as different a direction as you can. Even if you can't think of a plot that isn't cliched, at least try something that's not predictable. Readers only read when they want to know what happens next, and they can only want to know if they don't know. So try something from around a corner no one saw coming. For example:

    Blaese enacts his plan to help the twins escape- but he only gets away with one twin, the scholar. The warrior is left behind, and since Blaese doesn't dare go back to rescue him and thus get caught, the warrior grows up under the watch of Aleksandrew. Naturally, he becomes a brute feuled by propaganda.

    Meanwhile, Blaese takes the scholar son and goes into hiding far away, in a mystical realm. This is a chance to really have fun- if you tweak the place they go into hiding, you can get exciting characters, conflicts, and creations. For this example, let's say he goes to live on a floating colony where the scholar falls in love with a beatiful fisherwoman as he grows up. For exciting conflicts, you could have sea monsters constantly attack the colony, or sommat.

    Eventually, the waters begin to get polluted- the work of Aleksandrew. The scholarly son becomes outraged that his home should be attacked and runs back to the main continent to start an underground rebellion, using his smarts to plan out guerilla strategies that weaken Aleksandrew's army.

    Meanwhile, Warrior Son has grown up to become a Jerrashal who leads the army against the rebellion. The rebels capture him for a while (Think Les Miserables/Valjert captive situation) and Scholar Son and him confront each other multiple times. They don't know they're related, but they feel a connection- which they put down as deep hatred. The Jerrashal even steals Scholar Son's romantic interest, a rebel woman who reminds him of the fisherwoman he once loved. When the Jerrashal escapes and heads back to the palace, the rebel's hand is forced: They must make one last attack before their secrets are spilled.

    During the climactic battle in Aleksandrew's grand palace, Jerrashal and Scholar Son come face-to-face once more, and start a battle to the death, but Blaese, who has infiltrated the palace, and the romantic interest, who followed Scholar Son, grab them both and break them up. Romantic Interest reveals herself as the dying sorceress' reincarnation, and tells them that they are brothers. The brothers and even Blaese, who does not recognize Warrior Son, do not believe here, until her statement is confirmed- by Aleksandrew, who has been watching the battle from the wings the whole time. Aleksandrew orders Warrior Son to kill his father and brother, and the Jerrashal first beheads Blaese with his sword, before turning to take out Scholar Son- when Sorceress, who can't take it anymore, grabs the sword and throws it out of the way. The sword flies through the air and beheads Aleksandrew, thus bringing Sorceress' prophecy to a close: The twins both brought the tyranny to an end, both willingly and unwillingly.

    In the end, the Jerrashal, host to a billion conflicting emotions, has the Sorceress kill him painlessly and leaves the Scholar Son and the Sorceress to rule the kingdom. Whoo.

    Now, you can use some of this or all of this or none of this at all, but at least consider shaking things up a bit. The direction you're headed in right now- and, I think, the reason for your plot confoundment- is one of cliches and unoriginal thinking, yawn, been there done that. Try keeping things cool and unpredictable.
     
  5. Genious in Orange
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    Genious in Orange New Member

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    Heh, I like, except the fact of Lucien killing Blaese. That wouldn't happen because Aleksandrew is supposed to kill him, eventually.

    What you described about Lucien being semi evil has been torturing me for some time, at least the idea of an evil hero, however mangled that sounds. I was intending on him being the betrayer of the story, and quite posibly murdering his brother and then Aleksandrew. I don't intend on bringing back old Aza Verti, since the sorceress character is difficult and boring to write for.

    I'm also liking your idea of lands unknown; it's even mentioned in the prophecy that at least one brother does this, and "Take the treasures of worlds unknown."

    Of course, it also says "He shall rob our Masters and free our souls" as well as saying he will be "swept away from endless plight."
     
  6. Cogito
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    Cogito Former Mod, Retired Supporter Contributor

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    The plot begins like a classic Greek tragedy. The essence of Greek tragedy is that disaster comes about when the central character attempts to circumvent fate, invariably condemning himself or herself to a far worse outcome.
     

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