Online Dating

Historic teachings

But I suppose knowledge of the past is only dependent on how much you can trust what you are told or that you observe. Kind of like religion...

 

You are aware that traditional way of dating isn't applicable to "modern" dating culture right?

 

That's sort of the point I was making kiddo.

 

I don't think that's what Connolly meant when he said "traditional." That "traditional" you're talking about the good old days of the 1600's we're everyone got married just so they could have kids, form alliances all that.

In the "tradtional" dating these days, which I assume is what connolly meant no one does that anymore (In the western world as far as I know anyway). I think Connolly meant asking a gal/guy in the local area and who you see in person regularly out for a lunch and maybe some chit chat. The hardest part is always asking him/her... sad face

 

I don't remember a time where that existed without other methods (ex: online dating, blind dating, speed dating, etc)

How can you call it traditional if it never was a true stand-alone beggining to the dating trend? Maybe it was for a year, but people learned quickly.

 

I don't understand your last post.

BTW. Speed datin, blind dating, and online dating are mcreations of the information age and have only become prevelant in the last 20-30 years. Online dating started in the 90's. The current tradition I described has been around since the dawn of time and has always been the most commonly used method.

Arranged courtship (What you ahve described) was never even a dominate methode of metting members of the opposite sex to begin with. It was only used by people who actually had things to arrange marriages and alliances for. Most people, the peasants and serfs, use the current tradition. Arranged marriage and courtship began losing favor in the US in the 1800's, and in Eurpoe in the early 1900's.

Now, the most commonly accepted and widly used form of dating is what I described. You walk down the street to get coffee everyday. The girl who handles the register is always nice, has a smile on her face, and she's really cute, you decide to ask her if she wants to go get lunch. Or maybe you think one of your class mates is really special and ask him if he wants to see a movie.

The most widely used method of dating has always been asking someone you can visually see and talk to with ease to spend quality time. The entricacies have changed over time but the core concept is the same. Thats what would currently be considered "traditional" in the west. It changes based on region but I only know a good deal of western history. Ask me about CHinese history an it all starts looking like... well... chinese.

 

When you speak with that sort of confidence

I have no choice but to trust you.

I admit, I haven't taken time in my life to specifically educate myself on mating culture, mainly because I am complete failure with relationships to begin with. Less failure, more just incapable of handling them and continuing to be happy.

 

Welcome to the club. My dating life was a disaster. I'm surprised the continental US survived XD.

 

When I say traditional, I mean meeting people that live around you and cultivating a relationship with them. I'm not trying to say that I support arranged marriages, because I don't.

 

Hahahahaha

I can't even explain why I laughed so hard when I read that...

Now that I have reread it a couple time...it's not funny at all...actually.

...-.-

 

So THAT's what happened to the country!

 

What, you're laughing because that's not historically traditional? In the world I was raised in, meeting people and gradually falling in love with them is the norm.

 

Poor Katrina victims...

I take that back actually...that's aweful...

 

Actually, I was laughing at when you said "I'm not trying to say that I support arranged marriages"

 

Yep. I was sort of expecting mass extinction but... well I think it could have been worse. SG-1 could have been cancelled... wait a second... oh crap XD

 

Heather you are a very, very wise young lady. It is great to know that you are so weary about meeting people via the internet. Puts a moms heart at ease that you are so cautious. Heh, that always feels funny saying I'm a mom being so young. I don't know why, but it does for me

As for your questions....well I know I'll cop criticism for my replies, but I'm a big girl with broad shoulders and can take it.

As for dating online....well I am at the moment, in a sense really. I met someone on a writing forum some time back now. We have spent a lot of time talking and helping each other out with different hurdles in our lives. We are as close as two people on the internet can possibly get. We know where each other lives, works, etc. We keep nothing a secret form each other.

I have met a few people in person that I've met on the internet now. One of the guys I met I dated for a while. Nice guy, but he hurt my son. Another guy I met I remain friends with to this day. He is a wonderful guy and a very sweet friend. He has been there for me through a lot. The third guy I met, who lives in the city, has been a wonderful friend. We spent a lot of time getting to know each other and he developed feelings for me. Didn't work out, we had a real bad patch with the friendship and now after talking about it all have remained good friends and catch up when we can.

I also met a really great group of female friends online that I've since met in person. One of them passed away and I wasn't able to make her funeral. So they put the whole thing on webcam for me so I could still be there. It was nice. But I've remained in contact with these females I've met. They all have children and our children have all met and get along really well too. We don't see much of each other, but when we do catch up, we all meet at a public place and have lunch while and our children play together. We all live in different areas, so we travel to each different area accordingly.

As for falling in love...I don't know. I think becoming attached and caring deeply for an internet persona is possible. Falling inlove with the persona is possible I guess. But you are falling inlove with one part of this person. You can't really say you love someone that you don't know fully. To love someone unconditionally, I think you would have to meet and spend time with each other and know them away from the internet first. I know many relationships that have worked from first online dating. A friend of mine just recently married a guy she has been talking to online for 6 years. They met a year ago now and got married this year. They are expecting their first child soon and their relationship is very strong and they have said that what makes it work so well is that they have such strong communication from talking over the internet, because that is all they had for so long, communication.

I wouldn't suggest anyone to go out and try to create a relationship with someone over the internet though. It can lead to some pretty nasty endings. Rape, murder, abduction, molestation, who knows really.There are some sickos out there.

But what ever someone decides to do with their own life, is their own business. Just when and if anyone ever decides to meet someone over the internet, it is always best to be very cautious and make sure that you are going to be able to get away if things turn nasty. Always make sure there is an exit, you have a phone on you and have emergency services on speed dial. But I don't recommend it to anyone to be honest....sometimes, even if the person is responsible and safe, and you know that they won't do anything to harm you, it really can turn out really badly. Last thing your friends and family want to see on the news is that something happened to you because you met an online friend in person.....

 

I am not planning on meeting anyone, was just talking about it. Thanks for the concern however. I do, however, disagree with women being easy to influence, no more easy that men i do not think. It is not fair to assume that women are easy to minipulate if you tell them you love them or something.

 

I agree with you there Heather. A lot of females i know are less influenced by the word love than males I know. After all, love is thrown around so much these days that the actual meaning behind it these days isn't what it used to be imo.

 

exactly, and because it is something that men think they can use to get us to do whatever they want, I think it makes us more caustious as we are aware a lot of men will use the world "love" to get something.

That is another thing with the interent, someone can say they love you as, like messing about if you get me, and one person interprets it wrong. Something similar happened to me a while back with some bloke I talked to who was planning for me to visit him in the Netherlands and I wasn't aware he was being serious. That turned out really bad but again, when he was saying stupid things like he loves me, I realised it is just bollocks.

 

yeah sometimes, because you can't show much emotion online, things are taken the wrong way and people get wrong impressions. It happens a lot.

 

I'm marrying Banzai = p

so yeah, online romances ftw

lolol.

 

I don't believe in love. And no, offence, but guys are, two-faced, slimy, two-timing slimy creatures, who don't care an ounce for your feelings. I'd prefer going the traditional way, arranged marriage and then love....let's leave it that....


I'm 15 too, btw.....

 

Oh yeah. I can't tell you how many times I've been sarcastic online and someone thinks I'm serious. Oh boy, bad stufff . Without the ability to change tone and pitch in your voice or whatever the word is its hard to show the change in emotion. It means you gotta be extra careful with what you type XD I'm owrking on it

Wow, I didn't know so many people don't believe in love anymore. I'm a failure with the opposite gender and I still believe in it. I mean, 5,000,000,000+ people on the planet? One of them has to be the one special someone you can get the incrediblly deep emotional bond with... *calls in secretary* I'd better get started with the interviews. I'll be out til next year...

Course, I also believe in the bible, and Rosewell, and Area 52, and the Mighty Morph'n Power Rangers, and Santa... maybe I'm just gullible -_-

 

lol..........looks like you'd bettter call the bank too........f you're going girl-hunting, and have only 1 year, you need to date a new girl every half-an-hour......and that'll be expensive......girls are such bitches.............spending, spendng, spending.......that's all they care about.......selfish creatures

 

From Lord of Hats in Italy

Its not going good. Lots of nice ladies out there but haven't found the right one yet (Jotted down a few possibilities for future reference). Luckily, I have a direct line to Bill Gates and access to a TARDIS.