1. wordwizard
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    wordwizard Contributing Member

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    Overload?

    Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by wordwizard, Sep 4, 2008.

    My daughter is starting kindergarten tomorrow. This is very exciting.
    I am wondering if I need to drop a program for her though because she is in so many of them.
    She has:
    Soccer on saturdays
    Horseriding on Mondays
    Beavers(which is like brownies or scouts) one night a week.

    Now would this all be to much with beginning school?
    Do you think I should drop something or wait it out and see how she handles.
    I want to have her involved in everything, and be a well rounded person, but the last thing I want to do is overstimulate her. It doesnt seem like to much but keep in mind she is only 5.

    Let me know what you think, and hopefully I can make a better decision on what to do.
    Thanx
    WW
     
  2. Banzai
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    Banzai One-time Mod, but on the road to recovery Contributor

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    I'd wait and see how she gets on with it. To be honest, kids are very resiliant at that age, and enjoy being active. If she's too tired, or starts to struggle with it, then think about cutting back, but I wouldn't just yet.
     
  3. Cogito
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    Cogito Former Mod, Retired Supporter Contributor

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    Is she giving you any indications that she wants to drop one of the activities? If not, I'd hold off, but watch her for signs of stress (mood changes, temper flareups, changes in sleep patterns or appetite, etc.) before making any changes.

    She will probably show some stress symptoms just from starting school though, so give it a few days to see if she levels off from that.

    ALL changes, whether "positive" or not, are sources of stress. B y dropping activities right now, you could actually increase her stress levels.
     
  4. Rei
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    Rei Contributing Member Contributor

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    That's so much for a five-year-old. I would never give a kid more than one or two extra activities outside school. They need time to play in an unstructured environment.
     
  5. Scattercat
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    Scattercat Active Member

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    When I was young, my mother had a policy of one after-school activity at a time. If I was in the Cub Scouts, I couldn't also take Tae Kwon Do, and so on.

    Frankly, I think this is a good idea. My younger half-siblings have gone through life with a frankly rather manic mother who refuses to allow any time to pass without a scheduled activity. They rarely have time to themselves, and they often seem strained and worn out.
     
  6. Rei
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    Rei Contributing Member Contributor

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    Letting kids have unstructured time will also make them more self-motivated. If they never have to figure out how to entertain themselves, it makes it a lot harder to get them to do things on their own when they are older and HAVE to do it. Plus, boredom leads to creativity. That's something I think all of us can appriciate.
     
  7. CDRW
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    CDRW Contributing Member Contributor

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    Does it leave enough time for you to spend with her? Scheduled activities are good, but not if they come at the cost of spending time together.
     
  8. Leaka
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    Leaka Creative Mettle

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    I like this better.
    You can still make her a rounded person even with one activity.

    I don't like your schedule activity, it feels like you are forcing her to become a rounded person. Isn't it nicer for her to find something she likes. Or let her explores some activities on her own.
     
  9. Banzai
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    Banzai One-time Mod, but on the road to recovery Contributor

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    Well does she enjoy and want to continue with the activities?
     
  10. wordwizard
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    wordwizard Contributing Member

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    hmm
    I am not forcing her to become a rounded person I am giving her opportunitys to find things she likes and in hopes that she becomes some self confident and learn things she can't learn in school. Since she is 5 how can she explore activities on her own? We live in a rural part of town and because of wild animals I do not let her play unsupervised outside.

    I do have lots of time with her because school is only 2.5 hours long for her.
    My issue is not the how well rounded she becomes...that would be a perk, it is the time and overload that could occur if I am not careful.

    I really appreciate everyones thoughts and how quickly everyone responded.
    I am still not sure what to do but everyone made some valid points.
    thanks so much
    WW
     
  11. Rei
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    Rei Contributing Member Contributor

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    Again, Wizard, she's five. She'll have loads of time to figure out what she likes. If you have her in a good school, they'll have the ability to show her many the opportunities she has.
     
  12. Leaka
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    Leaka Creative Mettle

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    Quoted for agreement.


    Anyway all I was trying to say is that scheduled activities, in my opinion, are not always the best for young people.
     
  13. Scribbles
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    Scribbles New Member

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    I never had the opportunity for any scheduled activities when I was younger. My family was dirt poor... I wish that I could have had the opportunity for it. I'm sure I'd be a different person if I had had the chance to get into things like Karate, and Horse Back Riding.

    I think that you should keep an eye on her for the first few weeks and see how she handles it. If it's too much for her then I would take it back a notch. If it's too much for you to handle, drop something. It's all about finding that nice happy medium.
     
  14. Speedy
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    Speedy Contributing Member Contributor

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    Giving opportunities is fine as long as its best at heart. I think letting a kid be a kid is the most important thing of all.

    The soccer and scout thing IMO seem good, sport leads to healthy lifestyle and scouts im guessing helps social aspects (was never in scouts). The Horseriding thing seems silly when added to the busy schedule for a 5 year old (but you said your rural which i guess makes sense).

    I guess all you can do it what the kid, you know the child better than anyone else.

    Had to quote this, sorry

    Like every other 5 year old for the past thousand plus years ;)
     
  15. Torana
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    Torana Contributing Member Contributor

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    One thing to take into consideration is 'Does she enjoy all of these activities and look forward to them all the time?'
    If the answer is yes, don't drop them. But if she has dificulties coping with the schedule of activities, then maybe look at doing horse riding lessons every second Monday, instead of every Monday. Let her miss a day here and there with soccer, and even beavers. It won't hurt. But if she loves all of these activities, and you take one or more away from her altogether, she may resent you or school for that.

    Kids are pretty active and personally I think that if you can keep a close eye on her and her education, she should be fine. You as a mother know if your child is ill, too tired, etc. So you will know when it is time to miss a lesson or whatever, or when to say enough is enough and drop an activity. Give her a chance though. Don't punish her for starting kindergarten. If you take away these activities, it is what she may think. Just take it one day at a time and see how she goes.

    Hugs to you WW and I hope everything goes great for her at Kindergarten. It is so exciting on their first day. :)
     
  16. wordwizard
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    wordwizard Contributing Member

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    Thanks guys!
    I think I agree with Torana, I don't want to punish her just because she is starting school, so I will have to keep an eye out for stress signs.

    If I do decide to get rid of an activity it will NOT be horseriding lessons, as silly as it seems to others, it is her favorite out of all three.

    I can't shake the feeling like some people here think I am crazy for putting her in activities while shes 5. MAybe I am interpretting things wrong.

    I understand many kids through out the years find activities to do on their own, but like I stated before we are in a rural area, with no other kids around and being 5 she doesnt have many other resources. I am sounding like I am defending but I honestly am trying to see the other view.

    Either way I know what is best and makes her happy but it is nice to see both sides even if I don't fully understand the reasoning. It is appreciated that everyone took the time to help me figure out this situation.
    thanx
    WW
     
  17. Cogito
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    Cogito Former Mod, Retired Supporter Contributor

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    It's also ok to lay it out to her if you start to see her slip in schoolwork. If she knows she must keep jer schoolwork up if she is to keep all her activities, she may decide to put in the extra effort at school - or she may decide that one or two of her activities can be set aside.

    Just because she is five years old doesn't mean she can't make any such decisions. And letting her have some opportunity to make those decisions may help her developmentally too.

    I have a philosophy I apply in work and in raising children. If you treat people like they can make mature decisions, they will do their best to live up to that. Treat them as incompetent unruly brats, and they will exceed your expectations of immaturity.
     
  18. ZionsRodeVos
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    ZionsRodeVos New Member

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    Where I live kindergarten is 6.5 hours. I do not believe this is too long for a 5 year old and so when I read what you said and your concerns I was thinking that what you have done is simply supplemented kindergarten with more activities.

    In this case though you get to choose the subject matter instead of the school system and so too me this is much better because you can choose what she likes and not something that she might be bored with.

    I think horseback riding is a wonderful extra activity, one rarely offered in schools (or at least the schools I and my children have attended). Also these extra activities are giving your daughter some good extra social time too.
     
  19. Rei
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    Rei Contributing Member Contributor

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    We know that, but at five kids won't see it that way. They'll see it as "Mommy wants me to do all these things." Plain as simple. She may like them, but did she ask for them? Ask her how she feels about you signing her up for so many activities. Even older kids who understand the reasons behind you signing them up for so many things all at once will still feel the expectations of those activities and want to please you.
     
  20. Kylie
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    Kylie Contributing Member

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    I think it's great when a child has so many opportunities at such a young age. If she wants to do all that stuff and you're willing to help her with it all, I think it's fine. If it gets to be too much for both of you, tell her to just pick one.
    It's true, most kids tend to find stuff to do when there seems like there's nothing to do. They have a big imagination.

    My recommendation is to try it out for a while and see what happens. It'll be a great experience for her. :D
     
  21. Scattercat
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    Scattercat Active Member

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    And we're talking about kids up to forty years old, here. :)
     

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