1. M9A8E6S4TO
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    M9A8E6S4TO Senior Member

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    Post a descriptive paragraph

    Discussion in 'Writing Prompts' started by M9A8E6S4TO, Apr 16, 2009.

    To make this game, each poster should suggest a broad topic for the next poster to draw upon for the description. The next poster can ACCEPT or PASS on the suggestion.

    I'd like to change "a human" to something better.

    next subject: tropical wilderness
     
  2. Credulous Skeptic
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    Credulous Skeptic Member

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    Do you want us to post any ol' descriptive paragraph, or do you instead want us to post a rewritten paragraph of your original post?
     
  3. arron89
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    arron89 Banned

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    Why would you change "a human"? It works pretty well since the rest of that passage is so focussed on description to just have this one simple unaltered "human" contrasting against it, which seems to be the kind of idea you were going for anyway. I vote don't change the human.

    (And although it's not about the human bit, I think the bit about the trees' spines shivering needs to be rewritten, its a little unclear what you mean)

    GLHF!
     
  4. Cogito
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    Cogito Former Mod, Retired Supporter Contributor

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    I am moving this to Word Games. It really does not belong in General Writing, because it isn't really a Writing Issue.

    Yo make this more of a game, each poster should suggest a broad topic for the next poster to draw upon for the description. The nest poster can ACCEPT or PASS on the suggestion.

    To start the ball rolling, next subject: tropical wilderness (borrowed from Maestro)
     
  5. M9A8E6S4TO
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    M9A8E6S4TO Senior Member

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    Good idea, Cogito. I'll edit my original post.
     
  6. rory
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    rory Contributing Member

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    Here is my attempt! I'll probably reread this in a few days and wonder why I posted. ;)
    Tropical wilderness paragraph:

    The cry of a mysterious bird, muffled by the foliage, echoed in the distance. The air was a thick soup of moisture, insects, and pollen, stirred only by the movements of the creatures who call this wilderness home. Flowers in radioactive colours broke up the overwhelming torrents of greens and brown, inciting the unsuspecting to come smell their incapacitating scents.


    Next Topic: Life on a farm?
     
  7. Cogito
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    Cogito Former Mod, Retired Supporter Contributor

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    Marty spat out the stalk of Timothy grass and leaned on the rough rail fence. Locusts buzzed, and a hot breeze rustled the brown corn leaves and lifted a dusty ochre haze. If we don't get rain soon, he thought, we'll lose the entire crop, right sure. He looked up, but not a single cloud interrupted the deep blue sky, and the fierce white sun mocked his fading hopes.

    Next topic: arctic night.
     
  8. Atari
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    Atari Active Member

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    Another frigid blast of wind carried a hail of snow down the mountainside and into the windswept valley. Naked trees leaned all in one direction as if an explosion of ice had bent them to the side and frozen them permanently in position, carrying away forever their colorful leaves. Everything appeared to be tinted in light blue, and even though it was night, the moonlight reflecting off of the snow made the landscape visible for several hundred feet. With wind brushing his face and whistling in his ears, the great Timber Wolf observed the landscape from atop the precipice of a tapering, snow-covered rock, protruding from the ground and peaking high above the icy plains.


    Next Topic: Blood and Comradeship
     
  9. architectus
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    architectus Banned

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    The mangled bodies were tangled across the landscape. Smoke from chard bodies mixed with dust, clouding Tim’s view. He limped forward. Some bodies were missing an arm, or a leg. Some reached out as if still trying to crawl. Some were his friends. A fog swirled in his mind and emptiness pervaded him. Nothing but emptiness.

    Next Topic: The perfect swimming hole.
     
  10. Tall and Weird
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    Tall and Weird New Member

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    The crickets were so loud that I could barely hear my laboured breathing. It sure was beautiful country just as I'd been told. The trees were prettier than those back home. Hell, even the air was prettier. I stumbled over the rough, broken stone that told me the way and looked down at my destination. From here, the water looks cool and clear. 'Untouched' springs to mind. As my journey nears its end I can see a beach of perfect pebbles reflecting the heavy sun in every direction. The pebbles are gentle as I collapse on them. They are hot but not uncomfortably so and I can feel their heat like a thousand tiny fingers. They jostle beneath me with the sound of marbles bouncing as I stand up. The water is even clearer this close. I strip and throw my clothes away. The water is just as cool as it seemed when I had first seen it. A perfect branch for climbing dipped its leaves in the water in front of me and I accepted its invitation.

    Next: A dilapidated house.
     
  11. architectus
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    architectus Banned

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    The Victorian was once a beauty until time had taken its toll. Death swept through its rooms and creaked between its boards. Wood that was once white and blue, were then cancerous yellow and rotted brown. Shards of glass lined the tops and bottoms of windows like monster’s teeth. Holes devoured the roof. John feared stepping onto the porch. Because of his touch, the house might fall to ash, but he knew this was foolish.

    Next: A dying forest.
     
  12. Tall and Weird
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    Tall and Weird New Member

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    He watched the children play in the sickly trees he had climbed in play so many years ago. Can't climb their grey branches now, he thought bitterly, they'd just bend and splinter under the weight. He couldn't remember the last time a blue breasted sparrow had flown by his home. Even the wolves had started avoiding the brown and dry areas that had once been so lush. The yellow leaves that clung stubbornly to the trees that still clung stubbornly to life were ever so slowly disappearing in the slow gusts of foul smelling wind and soon there would be no leaves left. All that would remain of his childhood playground would be the naked and disease ridden trunks.

    Next: A sunny room.
     
  13. Chips
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    Chips Member

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    He pulled the heavy curtains back and light flooded through like an invading army. Squinting and swearing, he turned and looked around. Dust was everywhere; on the furniture and the floor, in the air and on the cracked glass protecting his mother's photograph. He looked through the door at the newer, cleaner, blander furniture in the darker room next door; safer in there.

    Next: a schoolyard
     
  14. Lyssa
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    It was a perfect spring day, and the teacher gladly let the children out for an early recess. Bubbles of laughter sprang from the tall grass, and you could hear the gossip, whispering, like a bug walking on grass. The small girl's dresses floated freely above them and the boys wrestled rentlessly in the mud. And all the while the sun showered down, like a spotlight on the perfect moment of laughter and love.


    Next: A horrible email.
     
  15. Blank Page
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    Blank Page New Member

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    Dilapidated house

    I am brand new here. Just joined today. This looked like a fun and good exercise. Here is my attempt. :)


    Dilapidated house.

    Carefully brushing aside thorny brambles opened my view to the remnant of what once had been a glorious mansion. In an instant a story unfolded of years of neglect. The house reeked of a loneliness so deep that I was overwhelmed by my own sadness at the loss of beauty. I was overwhelmed more by imagined tragic events that must have led to such a complete rejection of one’s heritage. Paint, long since blistered and peeled by the wrath of sun, and wind, and rain…hung in curling fragments, barely clinging to the weathered grey wood clapboard beneath its onion-like layers. Shutters, faded to pale grey-green still hung, a few no longer secure on their hinges. These swayed carelessly with the breeze. Broken floor length windows flanked a front door that now sported a ragged wound near its midsection; a door that had doubtless once opened to welcome the elite of this forgotten town. I now would walk through that door and discover my secret heritage.

    Next subject: Autumn walk through the woods
     
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  16. Ilseum
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    Ilseum Member

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    A vague attempt of a newbie =].


    I smiled to myself and closed my eyes for a while. Without noticing, I had stopped walking and the fresh, crispy autumn air filled my lungs. I could hear birds all around, making the most wonderful sounds. As I opened my eyes again, a small, brightly coloured leaf tumbled down. It went right and left, as though it were looking for something, before settling on my nose. I giggled, wiping it off. I took another deep breath. I wondered how anyone could not love walking through the woods on a day like this. The smell, the leaves dancing on the soft breeze, almost singing along with the numerous birds... Thump! Dingo, the big, hairy dog that I'd brought on my walk jumped onto me, interrupting my daydream. I laughed, and absent-mindedly contemplated the sky, not bothering to get up.


    Next subject: a rollercoaster ride
     
  17. Bellacuse
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    I grabbed the rusted chain-link fence with one wrinkled hand and wondered where the time had gone. I still remembered my first ride on the ‘Shiver Me Timbers’. Hollow screams of pretend fright intermingled with the delighted yelps of real fear. The park was closed back in ‘68, but the rollercoaster still stood; auburn timbers covered in moss and ivy reaching up to where the rusted metal tracks writhed across the gray sky. The first few rides were exhilarating. But, like all things, the thrill wore off and eventually I would jump on board just to see how my friends reacted. Vicarious pleasure does not last as long however, nor is as satisfying. Yet stubbornly, I kept going back until it was nothing more than habit, the initial delights all used up. I tore my eyes away from the decaying ruins of adolescent pleasures and pulled my gnarled hand back from the fence.

    Next subject: Ancient armor
     
  18. Welsh Wizard
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    Welsh Wizard Banned

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    The armour was ancient. Rust had sealed the helmet to the chestpiece and squirrels nested in the legs. However, there was a small patch on the back that was highly polished - probably the side effects of some fleeting alien invasion thing.


    Next : A Gym Full Of Ex-Members Of The Swedish All-Girl Volleyball Team
     
  19. Bellacuse
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    Bellacuse Member

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    Pass on the previous topic, as tempting as it may be:

    New topic - The lonely cottage
     
  20. Gallowglass
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    Gallowglass Contributing Member Contributor

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    The waves surged forth in a rush towards the fresh-thrown earth that formed the low ramparts of a solitary crannog on its stilts, a wooden hut suspended above Loch Maree. The crannog bore the badge of the Lords of the Isles, the galley and the raven, and its wooden construction creaked and moaned in the wind that danced above the loch after its race along the scarp face. The assortment of items from spindles to storage cleitean were scattered on the beach near the bridge to the crannog, and leaves floated on the water with about as much joy as drenched playing cards.

    New topic - the remote island
     
  21. Cogito
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    Cogito Former Mod, Retired Supporter Contributor

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    We could hear the pounding surf before we could see land. As the damp fog began to thin, the dark mass off the starboard bow resolved to forbidding black cliffs. Foam surged and swirled among jagged boulders at the base of the sheer walls. A gnarled, blackened stump reached from a crevice like a grasping claw. The wind tore at the fog, but the grey streamers refused to shred. A low, mocking moan echoed from the wind-carved crevices among the crags. We could see no harbor, nor a single shingle of beach to attempt a landing.

    Next: first landing on an arid planet
     
  22. Okie
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    Red-hot flames were licking the outer hull, I knew this. They taught us this back at the academy. Let me tell you, it's nothing to hear it in a classroom. You just don't know until it actually happens. The vibration of the deck plates, the creaking and groaning as atmosphere collides with alloy. We're going to burn. The hell with this, why was I doing this again? Before I could answer that, we finally leveled out, about time. And soon enough the 'Last Hope' touched ground with a resounding clang. The readouts confirmed what we knew from months of long distance research. The air out there was breathable, barely. Taking my first steps out onto the gangway, I just knew it was a mistake to come here. The heat was almost unbearable. All of us were greeted by a cyclone of gusting sand and dirt. Welcome home.

    Next topic: Full Moon
     
  23. Tall and Weird
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    Although the sky is hidden behind heavy clouds I know that the moon is as full as it can be. I stare at the patch of dark sky where the light of the moon seeks entry and wait for the stormy wind to uncover it. The smells of damp dirt and the sounds of traffic whizzing by keep me company until the clouds wash away. The moon is waiting for me too and meets my gaze unblinkingly. The light floods me and I rejoice in the madness that drowns the pretense of sanity I wear. The full moon knows who I am and lets me off my leash.

    Next: a rusting shed at the end of a dirt track.
     
  24. Bellacuse
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    Waves of steam rose from the dense underbrush that framed the simple dirt road as the sun baked away the recent rainfall. A cloying scent of vibrant vegetation filled the air, mixing with the damp, dead smell of decay. At the end of the trail a small clearing ringed the shed. Callous sunlight bore down on the shack, dancing away against the naked metal and falling into the dark holes that riddled the structure. Streaks of jagged rust clawed their way down the sides in an unrelenting clutch and merged with a bicycle resting against one wall, defying the weakened metal to hold it upright for just one more year.

    Next Topic: The elephant's graveyard
     
  25. Doug J
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    Doug J Active Member

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    He was all I knew for so long. While raising my sister and me on that isolated farm that sustained us in good times and bad he said little, but imparted the wisdom we needed. We endured the endless labor that comes from living off the land. Only much later did I realize that he was quite wealth, and the few visitors we had were the hoity-toity that came to curry favor. I suppose in a sense, those were his salad days. But now as I look at him: nearly blind, dementia trying to get a good grip, quivering limbs – I can only see and respect him as the giant he always was; as all these people at this secluded nursing home once were. Next to him is a senator talking to the two-time best actor winner from the 50’s. By the window there's a table of crotchety hall-of-famers that were inducted into Cooperstown over two decades ago. But it's time to go. I tell him we are going and give a hug, but he does not understand, and we back out watching him with his mouth open, his body leaning forward and oscillating from side to side in his wheelchair and surrounded in a room full of notaries that are merely existing in their final days.

    Next topic: Bad hair day
     

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