1. Dandroid
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    Dandroid Senior Member

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    problems with these sentences?

    Discussion in 'Word Mechanics' started by Dandroid, Mar 28, 2011.

    He crossed the yard, kicking at any can he passed.

    She cried, gasping in terrible pain.
     
  2. Ion
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    Ion Senior Member

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    Fine.

    Is she gasping or crying? Make up your mind. You're saying she's gasping while she's crying.

    "She gasped at the terrible pain and cried."

    This fix implies that she gasps, then cries, but not both at the same time.
     
  3. Dandroid
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    Dandroid Senior Member

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    ignore the second one...going to the first...you don't see a problem in tense?
     
  4. evelon
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    evelon Active Member

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    No. Crossed, passed - past tense. Kicking can be past or present. Reads ok to me.
     
  5. Dandroid
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    Dandroid Senior Member

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    along the line of the past continuous...?
     
  6. Melzaar the Almighty
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    Melzaar the Almighty Contributing Member Contributor

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    As long as there's a comma and not a full stop it's fine. :p
     
  7. Ion
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    Ion Senior Member

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    Your gerund works fine as long as it's separated by a comma.

    "He crossed the yard, kicking at any can he passed."

    "Kicking at any can he passed, he crossed the yard."

    Are both perfectly correct.
     
  8. Dandroid
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    Dandroid Senior Member

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    thank you kindly....ran into a lengthy discussion today that explored this and ultimately all were confused
     

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