Red vs Blue: Operation Rainbow Surprise

"Do I get a cool title before my name like Private or Soldier or General?"

Pain stared at Nate and instantly started laughing. "Sorry. It's just that every time a rookie asks for a promotion an angel gets his wings and a red spontaniously combusts. It makes me happy!... Oh, and the answer is no."

He looked over the team Command had sent him and nodded. "We should be getting our orders from command momentarily, and when we do the trumpets shall howl and the great crusade against the Red Demons will begin! But for now I expect too see you all down coffee like a drunk at communion. Can't have a hang over in the middle of a fire fight unless your a drunken master, and none of you look like masters to me."

 

New Orders From Command!

Red Team​

Yo dudes. I got something here that looks really official like and I think it's addressed for you. Apparently there are some hostile Alien activity in a canyon in the middle of Relic so, yeah. Might want to check it out dudes... what the, no signal? Is this thing broken? You there dude? Aw screw it I'm going out for lunch. If you can hear me check out that canyon dudes. meanwhile I'll be checking out a Subway.

CHAPTER ONE: Operation Rainbow

Red Team is on Que, Blue Team standby for orders from Command.

 

Twin heard the alarm as he sat in his corner. He swore at the 'THIS IS NOT A DRILL' part. Reluctantly, he suited up, wondering what their incompetent captain could have in store for them this time. He picked up his Needler.

What we wouldn't give for some frag time...

He heard the thought as it came from his own head, and yet seemed alien.

"Patience." He responded out loud. "We'll get some frag time." The armor he put on only served to further bring his Other to dominance. He felt his heartbeat increase and his face heat as he fought for control. He yelled, half from exertion, half from his loss of control. He spun and slammed his fist into the lamp on his desk, shattering it.

The Other halted his assault on his mind, and Jerry MacGyver was himself yet again...for a while.

Noting the time that his little outburst had taken, he ran down the hall to the ready room, going through a door that had apparently been blasted open.

"MacGyver reporting!" He burst in just to hear the bored voice blare out their orders amidst a slight haze of static. When it was done, he repeated himself.

"MacGyver reporting, sir!"

 

"Shouldn't fighting the Blue be our first priority, not fixing a leaky faucet?"

” Look, you pretty obviously have short-circuited. Because the odds of you ever actually killing a blue are roughly on a par with me finding the Loch Ness monster in my bathtub.” the major could not believe the audacity of this soldier. Giving recommendations to him.

"MacGyver reporting, sir!"

"MacGyver where in the world have you been? If you have been talking to yourself again i won't hesitate to put you in a room with Book until he blows both of you up from listening to your constant gollum like fireside chats." he paused supremely irritated by his soldier's incompetance. They would never defeat the blues at this rate.

"Now command has ordered us to search the canyon for some 'alien'. So i expect you all to get your gear and be back here in 5 minutes! That means you have four minutes to stop that tap from leaking or so help me god i will have you court martialled so fast you'll wish a blue had kicked you in the jewels!"

 

The loss of control was much more sudden and violent this time. His Needler came up, and he marched boldly up to his commanding officer.

"YOU KNOW WHAT A PORCUPINE IS, SERGEANT MAJOR?!?!" He roared. And just like that, the outburst was done, and Twin found himself standing with his Needler pointed into his CO's chest. He shook his head and stepped back.

"W-we mean...sir, yes sir!" He on his heel and dashed out of the door before his CO could dismiss him.

 

"YOU KNOW WHAT A PORCUPINE IS, SERGEANT MAJOR?!?!"

"W-we mean...sir, yes sir!" with that Mac quickly hightailed it into the base. Major Mercer shook his head in a most understanding manner,

"God help that boy if he doesn't die because he valiantly wanted to protect his CO i will surely kill him myself." He looked at Sappy who was too busy to notice what was going on. She had been busy admiring her pink armor.

"Lets get a move on ladies...and Sappy. Those weapons wont procure themselves!" With that he went into the base to write in his journal the objective of the current mission. He got to his quarters and sat down.

1. Have Book blow up all of Sappy's mirrors.
2. Send Mac on a suicide run.
3. Kill the blues!
4. Find alien.

He then got his weapon and went back outside to wait for his troops who would at least take double if not triple the time he'd specified.

 

'Outside?' Sappy said, flipping her head dismissively. She held an arm out and examined the shiny lightish-redness. 'With the dirt? And the mud? I just polished my armor.'

But Mercer wasn't listening. He walked away further into the base.
She stomped back to her room and picked up her sniper rifle from under a pile of clothes. She had customized it by sticking a small compact mirror where the aimer should have been. Ugly, horrible thing, she thought, holding the gun arms length. Why did Mercer insist they take them? It wasn’t like she could actually shoot the stupid thing.

She stopped off at the supply cupboard and picked up a can of elbow grease. In the rare event that they should meet the alien, and the even rarer occasion that there would be a blue, she wanted to look her best. Perhaps a model scout would see her, and she would be able to finally leave Relic. It was more likely than a lot of things.

She ignored the dripping tap and went outside. MacGyver could fix it. What did Mercer think she was. A plumber?

 

Twin dashed to where that leaky faucet was supposed to have been. Sure enough, it's slow drip slapped monotonously onto the metal sink below. Twin looked at it carefully, reached up, and tightened the gasket at the faucet's mouth. Instantly the dripping stopped. Twin smiled.

Mission accomplished. He then returned to his quarters, sat down at the desk, and penned in his time.

13:06:46 to 13:06:48 - solved internal security problem at the request of the Sergeant Major. Site is now considered safe and ready for regular use. No casualties reported. 159,234 drops of water wasted. No resources consumed.

With a flourish, he signed his name at the end of the work log. He then slapped some rations and some grease into his pack, and rushed off to meet at the rendezvous point. The Sergeant Major was standing with a notebook in his hand. Mac saluted.

"Reporting for duty, sir! Operation completed as ordered, sir!"