OOOO! @yagr What did they say to you when you went in? Apart from "step this way, sign this, go here, go there, sit down, stand up, etc etc etc ..."
The FBI already know me from research they helped me with last year so ... erm ... is that a helicopter I can hear outside ...
With respect to Lewdog (because he used to work in a correctional institute) I have found that many guards look at inmate families and friends as extensions of the inmate. As a result, what begins as cold detachment often escalates to outright antagonism and sadism. To this end, some states have begun to rotate guards out of smu (special management units) such as max units after two years. As a serious case in point...and I suppose a warning is due because of the nature of this example. You may want to stop reading here. If not, my wife was raped by a guard in 2007 while in custody. Shortly thereafter, while visiting her, I was escorted back. While in the sally port, waiting the three seconds after door one locked and before door two unlocked, the guard bringing me back asked, "So, how are you going to satisfy your wife when she comes home, now that she's had a real man?" My reaction dictates whether I ever see her again.
Sorry really isn't enough for a situation like that. There are bad people no matter where you go, and you have to keep the attitude that one day they will get there's.
It's a sad state of affairs when the people in power (any kind of power) take advantage of their position. I certainly hope they got theirs and both you and your wife survived and came through the other side x
Thanks Lewdog. I'm not going to suggest that I didn't have some very, vivid, violent visualizations as a result of that question but candidly, I don't believe the officer who said this to me is inherently a 'bad' person. Over the years, I have come to conclude that people are not fit to be in charge of people. Regardless of their original motivations, when given power over others, folks are changed by it. We see it in cops every day on the news. Despite a healthy dose of cynicism, I firmly believe that most join the force to do good. What happened? I'm sure many become jaded, burnt out, etc., but the factor never weighed is simply the corrupting property of power. Politicians, correctional officers, cops - even nursing home and day care centers. I'm not referring to the sexual predators but just kindly, salt of the earth types who came to work to care and end up abusing. Even the officer who raped my wife... I simply can't make myself believe that he would rape a woman on the outside. I'd like to be able to. It would justify all the anger and feelings of revenge I've floated. Might even justify more than feelings - if I thought he might be dangerous to another woman. But I can't even imagine it. I truly believe that because of the power disparity, he was able to see her as less than human. As he is no longer allowed to work in a woman's prison, I don't see it happening again. Anyway, your comment was very much appreciated.
And that's the main root of the problem. Once you are in the system, you are seen as less than human whether that be the prison system or the care system and the people charged with looking after you, instead turn into the monsters and begin abusing the system and the people they are there to care for. There have been a number of care homes in this country that have been closed because one worker stood up to the rest of the staff and secretly videotaped what was going on, it just makes me wonder how many people had to suffer before that one person put their own safety to one side and stood up for what's right rather than just joining in.
