1. ValianceInEnd
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    ValianceInEnd Active Member

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    Self-Confidence

    Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by ValianceInEnd, Jun 27, 2008.

    Today I heard on the radio a commercial targeted at men that they need to "increase they're size". It made me realize just how low these commercials are. Everywhere you go people are doing plastic surgery and changing their body because they don't like it. Is this overflow of "you're not good enough" in advertising really driving the general publics' self-esteem to the floor? Now I'm not saying I haven't subcum to self-doubt or wished I had said something at a certain time, but I'm really feeling that people just can't be happy anymore. Or has it always been this way, just now with better technology people can really change themselves? I mean, aren't we the harshest critics of ourselves? What are your thoughts?
     
  2. Wreybies
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    Wreybies The Ops Pops Operations Manager Staff Contest Administrator Supporter Contributor

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    My thoughts are that these commercials take near criminal license with our most sensitive concerns to strip people of their money.

    My B/F buys this product that is like a dark grey powder to shake onto his head after he does his hair. The idea is that it fills in the thin spots.

    Ridiculous!

    I told him as much. I told him he doesn't need it. I told him I think he is the cutest guy ever, ever, ever to walk on two legs. He was so taken aback and unprepared for me to confront him on this sensitive issue. The stuff is expensive and just a gimmick to get his money. My hairline has gone back quite a bit. I have no intention of ever doing anything about me. It's me! This is me! If I can't love myself exactly as I am, who can?
     
  3. Rumpole40k
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    Rumpole40k Banned

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    Amen Wrey ...... there's some serious wisdom in there.
     
  4. Amor
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    Amor Member

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    Amen to that, Wrey.

    I hear many girls my age make many complaints like "I'm too fat", "I'm too thin", "My breasts are too small", "My breasts are too big", "My hips are huge", "My hair is frizzy", "Omg I'm so ugly", etc. I just want to beat them all up. Do I have my own issues with how I look? Of course I do. I would like to be thinner, and I would like green eyes instead of brown ones, and I would like my forehead to be smaller. But I suck it up and deal with it, and learn to love the way I am.
     
  5. Rumpole40k
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    Rumpole40k Banned

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    Ultimately the world is full of people who will rip you apart and try to tear you down. You don't need to do it to yourself.
     
  6. Banzai
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    Banzai One-time Mod, but on the road to recovery Contributor

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    To be honest, I have no self-esteem at all... But then, that's a product of my past, and my rational mind knows it. Just a shame that my rational mind doesn't get a bigger share of thought processes.
     
  7. Rumpole40k
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    Rumpole40k Banned

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    Banzai - I used to be where you are at. I say this in all honesty. Fake the confidence until you feel it.
     
  8. Wreybies
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    Wreybies The Ops Pops Operations Manager Staff Contest Administrator Supporter Contributor

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    Banzai.... There's a part of me that would love to give you a big bear hug across the Atlantic.
     
  9. ValianceInEnd
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    ValianceInEnd Active Member

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    Wow, that's great advice right there!
     
  10. LibbyAnn
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    LibbyAnn Contributing Member

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    Having dealt (and am honestly still dealing) with an eating disorder, I can't tell you how many times I've wished I could go live on a deserted island with my family. I don't buy magazines anymore, but you have to pass them in grocery stores - and seeing airbrushed, perfect models makes me cringe. It's such a struggle to stay positive and confident when Hollywood gets to edit out/in anything they don't like about themselves.

    I think it's something that always has been and always will be. Technology is making it easier to change yourself and I think it's just going to get worse in the future.
     
  11. Wreybies
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    Wreybies The Ops Pops Operations Manager Staff Contest Administrator Supporter Contributor

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    Libby, I feel for you. This is such a tragicaly common feeling among woman in the U.S.

    I work part time as a personal trainer. I can't tell you how often women and men come in with magazine pictures of people and say, "I want to look this!" I have to explain to them that the person in the magazine doesn't even look like that! It's all computers and airbrushing, and if they even look close to the image in the magazine, then in between roles of film, that poor person is in the corner throwing up from dehydration.

    I think there should be (yes I do!) legal recourse for magazines and advertisements that create an unrealistic and unhealthy expectation for people. You can't have cigarette ads on TV anymore, why should there be comercials of that creepy woman exclaiming, "YOU NEED LEPTOPRIN" in her hypnotic, crazy voice?!?!?! No sir! And then the next freakin ad that comes on the TV is for a hamburger from who-knows-where that weighs five pounds, four and 1/2 of which is all grease. DOES THAT MAKE ANY SENSE?

    breathe in, breathe out....
    relax.....

    Ok, I'm better now. Sorry. :redface:
     
  12. ValianceInEnd
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    ValianceInEnd Active Member

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    It doesn't make sense. Gotta love advertising...
     
  13. Sandy Banks
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    Sandy Banks Member

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    Everyones a **** up. With confidence i've learnt that its something you can affect. I find that if i just try to do something that i wouldnt normally do, something small like ask a girl on a check out how she's doing whislt your being served, than it can help with confidence. Regarding adverts, sometimes they are too much, playing on peoples insecurities. But im starting to think that its kind of harmless. USA, western europe etc, its all one big consumer society. Consumerism is proably the central aspect to our societies. Whilst consumerism has its problems, it seems to me that its alot better than what came before it. You need something to bind society together and consumerism isnt the worst ideology to live by. Its about wroking hard for your money and then enjoying spending it.
     
  14. Wreybies
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    Wreybies The Ops Pops Operations Manager Staff Contest Administrator Supporter Contributor

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    I hear you. I don't have a problem with consumerism. I have a problem with irresponsible consumerism.
     
  15. LibbyAnn
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    LibbyAnn Contributing Member

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    Ugh. This is what started all my issues - wanting to look like a cover model. I'm a really athletic person and honestly don't have a lot of fat that I could lose. But when I was younger, I actually thought that by exercising enough, I could look like cover models. So not the case!!

    I'm really starting to learn to tune out and ignore advertising and to embrace my strength and muscles. I lift weights, I swim, and I run. And all of those things are going to make me stronger. I'm starting to learn to be proud of those things and push the other things out of the way...and as I do this, I gain self confidence slowly, but surely.

    I think all young girls (and guys, but especially girls) need to have people sit down and talk with them about all the lies that the media is going to feed them.
     
  16. ValianceInEnd
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    ValianceInEnd Active Member

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    Something I have been taught for years. It's the truth if there ever was a blatant truth.
     
  17. Samswriting
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    What a thread :) Hello i'm Sam and I have issues :) heehee...

    Seriously. I have been largely blessed by a body that I have not hated, I don't find anything over the years that I really couldn't live with, though now I've some weight I'd like to lose and I'm working on it albeit slowly.

    What I find sad, is that what makes people unique, and special and worthwhile is how different we all are, both mentally and physically. How boring if every man looked like Matthew McConaughey, and every woman was Naomi Watts. I mean really who would we be what would be the point.

    If you look through history, what is "in" and fashionable changes. I find myself, that what looks "good" is varied and no two people can look "good" with the same body. While for one lady a very tiny frame works and looks great, the next may need a much more muscular body to look good, while another needs a soft tender body. To each their own. Same with men. While Arnold looked pretty good, as a bodybuilder, he would have looked silly as a 110lbs nothing. Meanwhile the guy in Napoleon Dynamite would have been silly as a 200lb wrestler.

    I don't know the whole thing bugs me, men trying to get "bigger" in the pants, while the beautiful girl goes and makes herself look off balance with bigger breasts. Its enough to make me want to cry. Dont mess up what you have, trust me if you care for yourself and take care of yourself, the reflection in the mirror is gorgeous.

    As to the airbrushing and such :) even in movies and tv, with HD coming on so hard now, they really are airbrushing makeup, because the HD signal can pick up the flaws even in makeup application. I find it hilarious that these people go through such trouble to look that way on tv, its nothing but a thick pile of goo. So remember its makeup and after effects. You probably look way better without makeup than they do.
     
  18. Banzai
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    Banzai One-time Mod, but on the road to recovery Contributor

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    A bit late, perhaps, but Libby, you're gorgeous. What those models have due to fancy photographic techniques, you have naturally.

    I know that probably won't be any help, but I feel that women who are genuinely beautiful should be told, especially in a world whoch doesn't seem to appreciate that.
     
  19. Slippery
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    Slippery Contributing Member

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    Nothing will matter when you dead. Might as well make it good. :)
     
  20. Banzai
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    Banzai One-time Mod, but on the road to recovery Contributor

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    Well that's....cheerful.
     
  21. Slippery
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    Slippery Contributing Member

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    Well I think it is! The best things in life are temporary.

    When I was very young, I was so hungry that I imagined the community swimming pool was entirely full of McNuggets, and the jacuzzi was the ketchup. I later learned that too much of anything, even a good thing, becomes bad.

    Rather than feeling melancholy, the idea of life as being temporary fills me with a sense of freedom. I'm not going to be here forever, which is why I'm going to make this life something to write about.
     
  22. LibbyAnn
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    LibbyAnn Contributing Member

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    :redface: Thank you. And it does help, a lot, actually. :)
     
  23. SonnehLee
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    SonnehLee Contributing Member Contributor

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    I'm a teenager in oh-so-wonderfully advertised america, but I've found my problem isn't really with the advertising, I'd always been blessed with the ability to be blissfully unaware of the things that are popular, like celebrities, but what gets to me are the people close to me. They say something, have no idea that it bothers me, and just go on.

    Like this week, after a long night of watching a 3 yr old, and having been completely worn out by him, and the "adults" who spent the night criticizing me for it, a friend of our family came over, i'm relaxing on my couch with a bag of chips, and said "well. i see why you couldn't keep up with laydan last night"
    ouch.
     
  24. LibbyAnn
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    LibbyAnn Contributing Member

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    I'm sorry someone was insensitive enough to say that to you. I really think some people don't think before opening their mouths! There is nothing wrong with eating chips, so please don't listen to whatever idiot said that to you.
     
  25. SonnehLee
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    SonnehLee Contributing Member Contributor

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    I threw the bag of chips at him. i was just mad, because we had invited him into our house, and shabam. there it was. but i would starve if i didn't eat chips in the summer, we never have any food at my house.
     

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