1. cube
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    cube New Member

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    Sentence confusion

    Discussion in 'Word Mechanics' started by cube, Dec 7, 2011.

    I'm having some confusion over the construction of the following sentence:

    "Bob walked into the room, wearing his shoes that were always caked with mud, and plopped himself on the recliner."

    It's just an example, but is it poor form to introduce "wearing..." in the middle of the sentence?

    If so, can anyone suggest a better version?
     
  2. shadowwalker
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    shadowwalker Contributing Member Contributor

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    Well, unless he's carrying his shoes, one would assume he'd be wearing them - and that they are indeed 'his'. ;)

    Would suggest something like: "Bob walked in and plopped down on the recliner, his shoes, as always, caked with mud."
     
  3. cube
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    cube New Member

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    Ok, thanks. Whenever I read through grammar rules, I doubt my writing abilities!

    Your version of the sentence is a good one.
     
  4. digitig
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    digitig Contributing Member Contributor

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    I can't see how it could possibly be bad form to introduce "wearing" in the middle of the sentence, but the sentence isn't very tight. A rewrite that keeps close to the original might be something like:
    Bob walked into the room, his shoes -- as always -- caked with mud, and plopped himself on the recliner.​
    You might not like all that punctuation, though, so maybe consider a complete rewrite.
     
  5. mammamaia
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    mammamaia nit-picker-in-chief Contributor

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    there's nothing wrong with using 'wearing' in the middle of a sentence... but sorry to say, that's a poorly worded sentence all around... better would be:

    he wouldn't be wearing someone else's shoes, would he?... if he were, you'd write that... but if not, it's assumed they're his, so why say so?...
     

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