1. starrynight89
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    starrynight89 Senior Member

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    Short Essay for Honors Application

    Discussion in 'General Writing' started by starrynight89, Jun 1, 2008.

    Hi!

    I'm applying to the honors program and a short 1,000 word essay is required. Here's the prompt:

    I have a few ideas in mind but I'm not sure which one to go with. Last semester, when I used to commute, I got into a car accident and it changed my outlook on driver's ed program and life in general. I'm not sure how I would word it. It did effect me a lot and I was so nervous I couldn't drive for a while. The words of my driver's ed teacher echoed in my head for the next couple of days: "Always check twice before making a turn." It was partly because of my carelessness but it has made me a better/cautious driver.

    Diversity is a major issue at my university. They stress this point so much in the university's mission statement and interaction in classes but I failed to see how diversity exists. There has been a hate crime at our school against a particular race. I'm in a Indian traditional dance team and I want to tie diversity to dance because we have an African-American female on our team which is great! I want point out that diversity just isn't something we learn about, it has to be promoted and accepted.

    A third option could be the avon walk for breast cancer I did last year. A lot of options but I'm just not sure.

    Which one do you think I should do?? Or any general tips on writing a personal statement?

    Thanks guys! :)
     
  2. Klee
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    Klee Contributing Member

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    I think it's best if you the one you feel like you're most passionate. Since it's asking for something about you that they wouldn't know otherwise, I think you should write something that also speaks about your beliefs and personality.

    That's my two-cents, I hope it helps.
     
  3. Al B
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    Al B Senior Member

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    I think you should do whichever one means the most to you, and only you can decide which one that is. However, if it helps you...

    The car accident one seems a bit trivial in comparison to the others, unless it was really genuinely was a life changing experience, the one concerning racial diversity could be good, most notably because it shows you are the kind of person willing to mix and participate in things, which is probably something an educational establishment would welcome, the third one is good too, it shows you care about others, but is perhaps not as good as the second one.

    Alternatively, you could combine ideas from all three, i.e. the accident changed your outlook, because it could so easily have been different, now you realise the importance of this and that etc, and so you've thrown yourself into all kinds of activities etc...

    Al
     
  4. starrynight89
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    starrynight89 Senior Member

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    Al B: Thank you so much for the response. I agree, the first one seems kind of off, for lack of better word. And I'm not even sure how I'm going to tie it in with my extra-extracurriculars without sounding cliche. I was leanings towards diversity because it does mean a lot to me we had to talk about it for one of my classes.

    Thanks, again!

    Klee: That's a good point but there's just a lot of things that effected me that I want to get across to the committee, it's just hard to choose. I think I can address my beliefs by talking about diversity and the traditional dance. :) Thanks!
     
  5. mammamaia
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    mammamaia nit-picker-in-chief Contributor

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    good luck with this... but when you write about the effect whatever event you choose had on you, be sure to get effect/affect right, 'cause you're using the wrong one in your posts...

    here's the diff:

    affect is a verb [only time it's a noun is in shrink-speak in re facial expression]
    effect is a noun

    so...

    something that affects you has an effect on you...

    love and hugs, maia
     
  6. kayeshannon
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    kayeshannon Member

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    You have certainly provided some good ideas for an essay. Since the diversity issue
    and the walk for breast cancer may unfortunately offend or upset someone reading
    your essay, I would go with the safe choice of the driving incident, and how if affected
    you persosnally.
     

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