1. ValianceInEnd
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    ValianceInEnd Active Member

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    Something I cannot stand

    Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by ValianceInEnd, Dec 17, 2007.

    I can't stand the kind of love where somebody is in it for themselves or to say that they have a girl/boyfriend. They don't truely love eachother and when they kiss there's no passion or joy in it. It's just an act to show of for their own damn selves. Now, I'm not complaining about a personal expierence or relationship I am in, no it's just that I can't help but notice the thousands of kids around me trying to be older than they are. It seems that to have material love makes them cool or seem "older". My friend is victim of material love and when his ex dumped him he seemed crushed and devastated, even when what they had didn't seem real. Is it just me, or is love losing its meaning to today's society and being replaced with selfishness and lust?
     
  2. SeaBreeze
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    SeaBreeze Banned

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    Possibly.

    The young ones are a bit odd today. Oh well. The world ends soon!
     
  3. SeaBreeze
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    SeaBreeze Banned

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    Yeah, but back to thread topic, I do see it a lot lately. These chicks are like, look at me! I'm going out with a hot guy that's five years older than me! Stuff like that. It irritates me. A friend of mine was getting stuffed around by a girl because she was basically pulling him out when convenient but ignoring him when she didn't need him. It's stupid!
     
  4. Torana
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    Torana Contributing Member Contributor

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    Love certainly is being replaced with lust and selfishness. People are too hasty to say that they are inlove. They give their hearts to someone and don't even realise it is not love at all but merely lust. (my opinion anyways)

    Love is not somethign I feel you can find in a night. It is somethign that you must build over time. There are so many things that have to be there before love can exist. Like trust and security, etc.

    Love is hard to explain but most mistake lust for love these days and the fear of being alone.
     
  5. SeaBreeze
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    SeaBreeze Banned

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    Oh yeah. I mean, with my BF, It took me a while to truly fall in love with him. I was unsure at first but I love him as heck now!
     
  6. Lemex
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    Lemex That's Lord Lemex to you. Contributor

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    I can safly say I've never been, or tried to act, like i'm in love with anyone.
    It's just might be me being so damn acribic, but I tell people if I don't feel the same way.
    I've never given into my own desires. Yey for me.
     
  7. Eoz Eanj
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    Eoz Eanj Contributing Member Contributor

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    Immature love follows the principle: "I love because I am loved."
    Mature love follows the principle: "I am loved because I love."

    Immature love says: "I love you because I need you."
    Mature love says: "I need you because I love you."


    - Erich Fromm
     
  8. SeaBreeze
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    SeaBreeze Banned

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    .... Love sucks.
     
  9. Heather Louise
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    Heather Louise Contributing Member Contributor

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    Just because it didn't seem real to you, an outsider in their relashionship, does not mean it is not real. I mean, the fact he was crushed proves something.

    Me and Nick went out for a while and although we didn't do anything much, jsut hung round and stuff, it meant a lot at the time. Ok to anyone else it didn't appear much as we would keep our deeper feelings and stuff for when we were alone so that people cannot see everything. And I was upset when it ended as although we are only young and I will get over it, it still hurts a bit. Don't just judge people and their relashiponships by what you see as it might not be everything.
     
  10. The Freshmaker
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    The Freshmaker <insert obscure pop culture reference> Contributor

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    Not true. Love is one of the few purely happy things in this world (that and gummi bears, but I digress). It is worth striving for. However, there is one simple rule that you have to accept: as high as love can bring you, it can take you just as low.

    I had my heart broken this year. It was horrible. It made me physically ill, and I dropped down to only 85lbs. It is the worst pain I have ever felt. I asked myself, would I trade the years that we had in order to be spared the pain? And the answer is no. They were the happiest times I've ever experienced, and I wouldn't trade them for anything. Love and heartbreak shape you as a person.

    And that's all I have to say about that.

    As for love being trivialized, I don't know. I can't tell anyone how to love because you have to figure it out for yourself. People will live and learn, I suppose.
     
  11. ILTBY
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    ILTBY Contributing Member Contributor

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    I think kids and teenagers often think they're in love when they're not, too. I know I did with my first boyfriend and I'm fairly sure, looking back on it, that it wasn't true love. I thought it was love then, but I think it was just the fantasy of love.

    I see where you're coming from, though. The way a lot of younger couples display themselves these days is pretty disgusting. It also often seems like many people are just in a relationship for the sake of being one - it's the cool thing to do, you're a 'loser' if you haven't made out with anyone or even had a partner.

    Going a bit off topic now, but one thing that seriously pisses me off is the pressure, particularly on guys, to have sex. So many people I know or know of have lost their virginity at an incredibly young age and I'm sure, for most of them, it's just because they were drunk and didn't know what they were doing or felt pressured to.

    My boyfriend is 19, he's never had sex and all his friends pressure him to. A friend of mine only just lost his at 19, too, and only did it because of peer pressure (and way too much alcohol).

    Aah, teenagers are crap.
     
  12. The Freshmaker
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    The Freshmaker <insert obscure pop culture reference> Contributor

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    Don't pick on teenagers. That's low. It's like making fun of the handicapped.
     
  13. ILTBY
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    ILTBY Contributing Member Contributor

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    Harsh :p

    Well, I'll change it to 'most teenagers'.

    I for one, am a very nice teenager :p :) Seriously. I dislike the majority of my generation.
     
  14. want2playwithurevilinside
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    want2playwithurevilinside Member

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    I think that a few teenagers particularly girls want relationships young, and the reason they get with older guys is purely for the fact that they're more likely to want the same things out of the relationship. I'm not saying that younger guys are all not wanting anything serious, but a lot of the ones i know are just out to get with as many girls as they can.
    My boyfriend is 7 years older than me, been together a few months, and i do love him, as does he love me. He's perfect. I have told hardly anyone about him, due to image of the '7 years' thing, and he respects that.
    I don't feel like i'm in the relationship for just 'a boyfriend', and i really don't feel that a lot of people 'teenagers' are in them for the 'image' side.
    Although the ones that 'always have to have a bf/gf... dump one.. get a new one the next day'... that attitude does fit the criteria.
    Not all teenagers are stupid tho, i do feel that majority are looking for more than just a partner to show off.
     
  15. Jaclyn
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    Jaclyn Active Member

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    You can't expect teenagers to be ready for and understand love at such a young age!
     
  16. lessa
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    lessa Contributing Member

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    ILTBY you sound so old. You are just a babe.
    Love does not suck. It can hurt, it can be wonderful. It is a lot of hard work.

    Every teenager from time immemorial has striven for love. The gawky pimply faced boy starts to look at the girls and pick one for himself. The gawky flat chested girl starts trying to improve so she will be beautiful to somebody other than the tall gawky pimply faced boy.
    To adults of which I am one it is funny to watch and see them make the first attempts at finding love. We know it is not real but we went through the same moves and we eventually found the man or woman of our dreams and many lost their true love. But then we turned the corner and found the true man of our dreams. This lasted for a year and then we had to meet the next man of our dreams.
    So don't say it isn't love and they don't feel true love. For the moment in time it is true love.
    I am one of the rare few these days. I found the man of my dreams and married him 6 weeks later and we are still together 31 years later.
    Friends and strangers alike said it wouldn't last since it was lust not love.
    Well they were wrong so don't knock the kids trying to find not only love but themselves.
    They will eventually.
     
  17. Torana
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    Torana Contributing Member Contributor

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    Love can be the most wonderful experience in the world, but the most cruelest thing to ever go through at the same time. Though personally I believe it is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.

    I have only ever really loved one guy. He loves me as well. It is an amazing feeling really. I am glad I now know what love is and all that but in a sense I never wanted to feel it either. Love scares the heck out of me. I'd rather be in lust with someone than in love. Much easier :)
     
  18. PrincessGarnet
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    PrincessGarnet Contributing Member

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    hear! hear!
    I think too many people judge relationships and the only people who know what it was really like were the ones involved.
    --------------------------------

    I don't think relationships have really changed, as surely that would mean human nature has changed as well. Surely people have always been scared of being left on their own etc I guess it's what is shown in public has changed.

    I really don't want to get into the issue of love and what it is. I guess what i don't like about it is that there seems to be a time frame attached to it - that if you've been in a relationship for, say 2 years then you must be in love, whereas if you've been in a relationship for 2 months it can't be love..... whereas i would say dependency can come with time and........... also! people change, so can you really be in love with someone throughout a 30 year marriage??? I kind of like the idea of an everlasting love, but perhaps i am a dreamer
     
  19. ILTBY
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    ILTBY Contributing Member Contributor

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    Thanks Lessa :)

    I'm another who thinks love is great, I also think it can be deceptive and as most people know, hurtful. However, I think if you find it you're pretty damn lucky, it's a wonderful thing and it shouldn't be taken for granted.

    I'm know quite a few teenagers and kids do have the real thing and may last forever, but I'm sure quite a few are just in it for the sex or for the popularity or whatever else.
     
  20. Kit
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    Kit Contributing Member Contributor

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    I think that's an unfair comment to be honest with you, and highly stereotypical. Sometimes you can't help falling in love, and age shouldn't matter. Yes, some people are too immature/unprepared or whatever to understand what love is, what it means, how a relationship should be... but that doesn't apply to everybody. There are people out there who've entered a relationship as a teenager and spent their lives (happily) together, just like there are older people who've found a partner, married said partner and divorced because they aren't happy.

    Absolutely, only the person who is actually involved in a relationship honestly knows how they feel about the other person. Its all to easy to stand on the sidelines and make judgements, but it doesn't mean that you fully comprehend the feelings or situation involved.

    Pretty much exactly what I agree with, there are indeed teenagers out there who do not know the meaning of a true relationship, who are with someone for the sake of having someone or for other similar reasons. Nevertheless, we can't deny that some teenagers have the real thing, and congratulations to them.
     
  21. ILTBY
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    ILTBY Contributing Member Contributor

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    That should be 'quite a few' :p

    Ditto in regards to congratulations...I wish I had it :)
     

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