1. Okon
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    Okon Contributing Member Contributor

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    Stupid things you've done.

    Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Okon, Oct 29, 2013.

    Go ahead and share some silly/half baked/really really stupid things you've done! We all have times when our minds leave us on the side of the road in our underwear, and there's mostly nothing wrong with that.


    I've always been an airhead, and a little awkward, so I have plenty of examples. Here's a few to get the ball rolling:

    I once looked in the mirror and thought my name tag was on backwards.

    I was helping a friend fix their washing machine. A 9/16 socket (imperial scum) was too big for one of the bolts, so I said: Let's try 8/16.

    And here's a transcript between my manager and I:

    Did you get the such and such?

    No.

    No?

    Yes.

    So yes, then?

    No, I was confirming your 'no.'
     
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  2. Duchess-Yukine-Suoh
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    Duchess-Yukine-Suoh Girl #21 Contributor

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    I constantly put office supplies in the fridge.
     
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  3. Alesia
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    Alesia Pen names: AJ Connor, Carey Connolly Contributor

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    Hmmm. Cracks knuckles...

    1.) Driving down a windy mountain road going 100+ mph - at night - while heavily intoxicated.
    2.) Shaving my head down to the bare skin.
    3.) Accidentally leaving an... uh adult website up on my desktop when my G/F came home. Originally thought to be stupid, however as it turned out the rest of the evening was somewhat entertaining...
    4.) Eating some psychedelic mushrooms before walking through airport security with a joint in my pocket...
    5.) Asking a gentleman who was significantly larger than me to punch me as hard as he could. Alcohol was a factor in this decision.
    6.) Drinking two bloody mary's, a six pack of beer, and several shots of whiskey about three hours before I knew I was going to a bar where people would be drenching me with alcohol. This was my 21's birthday and I only lasted at the bar about an hour before I passed out.
    7.) Sleeping with a woman everyone warned me was "crazy." That she was, and not in a good way either. Alcohol was involved.
    8.) Sticking my hand in a hot deep fryer to retrieve a piece of food that fell out of the basket. Alcohol was yet again a factor.
    9.) Blaming alcohol for all of my problems.
     
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  4. Trish
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    Trish I've been deleted.. again Contributor

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    God damn. You just might be my hero. That's hilarious (not saying I've done anything comparable to any - and certainly not all - of those :rolleyes:)
     
  5. 123456789
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    123456789 Contributing Member Contributor

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    I'm calling the police.
     
  6. Wreybies
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    Wreybies The Ops Pops Operations Manager Staff Contest Administrator Supporter Contributor

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    In my mid-twenties I almost went to prison for love. Terribly romantic; heinously stupid.
     
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  7. chicagoliz
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    chicagoliz Contributing Member Contributor

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    On my honeymoon, we spent 7 days in Maui and 3 days on Lanai. On the last day of our Maui trip, the day we were taking a flight to Lanai, we went on the Road to Hana. This is a very curvy, difficult to maneuver road that brings you to all kinds of natural pools, black sand beaches, unusual trees, etc. It is not all that accessible, and you generally can't go more than about 20 mph. It's not a commercial road.

    On one of the stops, I dropped the keys to our rental car in the area where we parked the car. I didn't realize I had dropped them, so when we returned to the car, my husband asked for the keys and I did not have them. He found them on the ground where I had dropped them. This was over 17 years ago. My husband still brings it up.
     
  8. Wild Knight
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    Wild Knight Active Member

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    Stupid things I've done... there are far too many things that I've done that were stupid, but let's start with something I did as a teenager.

    It was about five in the morning, give or take, we were all awakened pretty early to go to a military event... my sister and I were talking about how good monkey bread was because we were hungry... and we both had a derp spell, where neither of us remembered what it was called:

    Little Sis: ... Wait, what was that called again?
    *beat*
    Me: ... ! *exciteably* I know, I know! *high-pitched* MONKEY BALLS!
    *uncomfortable silence from family*
    Me: ... ??? *getting the feeling that that had sounded wrong*
    Little Sis: ... I think that it was called monkey bread.
    Me: ... :oops:
     
  9. ReaperKnight
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    ReaperKnight Member

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    Climbed up on top of a tree and decided that the best thing I could was jump down. Have a guess why I'm now acrophobic.
     
  10. erebh
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    erebh Contributing Member Contributor

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    In Tunisia one year I made fun of a bald guy, turned out he just had chemo, so that day I shaved my head as a way of a really embarrassed apology!

    ...got caught on webcam - eventuality wasn't so entertaining...


    I boarded a plane in Amsterdam with a pocket load of stuff and didn't realise till I got home - phew!




    Sounds like a usual Saturday for me in my youth - still happens on occasion - old enough to know better, stupid enough to do it anyway

    Another usual Saturday night in my youth, good times :)


    Even I'm not that stupid! Although when I worked in KFC as a kid we did batter and fry a dead mouse we found by the bins and serve it to a copper. Four of us got fired, there was a court hearing but it was settled outside.



    Blaming bartenders and friends.

    I could add to this list but I'd be arrested :(
     
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  11. Duchess-Yukine-Suoh
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    Duchess-Yukine-Suoh Girl #21 Contributor

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    How much time and effort did it take you to make the mouse into food?
     
  12. Trish
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    Trish I've been deleted.. again Contributor

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    Okay - if erebh can do it, I can do it. What the hell?


    Wasn't driving, wasn't over 100, but I was in the car. :(

    Never shaved my head completely, but let my sister and my friend put a whole lot of crap (all styling shit) in my hip length hair. They WAY over did it, to the point that I was so frustrated trying to get it out I chopped it into a pixie cut.

    Haven't done this one. Have been on the other side of it though, lol.

    Acid. Idiot friends. Pulled over by cop. Interesting night.

    I'm a fearless little fool when I'm drinking, lol.

    Done this more than once. Was quite common when I was young.

    I don't sleep with women, but I've had a similar experience with men.

    Not a deep fryer - but I did try to take a 450 degree pan out of the oven without using a potholder. Changed my mind and dropped it pretty quick, lol.

    Nah, I blame me.
     
  13. Duchess-Yukine-Suoh
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    Duchess-Yukine-Suoh Girl #21 Contributor

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    1.) What the eff.....
    2.) History teacher did this. Not a big deal.
    3.) That's just not smart man.
    4.) Did you drive to that airport?
    5.)o_O
    6.) That's beautiful. Pure beauty.
    7.)Loverly.
    8.):confused:
    9.) There we go. :p
     
  14. erebh
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    erebh Contributing Member Contributor

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    @Trish just as well there isn't a thread about crazy boy/girl friends lol!
     
  15. Duchess-Yukine-Suoh
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    Duchess-Yukine-Suoh Girl #21 Contributor

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    That would be a fun thread.
     
  16. Trish
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    Trish I've been deleted.. again Contributor

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    @erebh no kidding. I have plenty of material for that, lol.

    @Duchess-Yukine-Suoh Define 'fun'.
     
  17. Duchess-Yukine-Suoh
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    Duchess-Yukine-Suoh Girl #21 Contributor

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    Not in the real definition of "fun".....We should start a thread for crazy people in general so I can write about my insane principal.

    Yes, she is insane. Fits the definition of it.
     
    Last edited: Mar 27, 2014
  18. Trish
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    Trish I've been deleted.. again Contributor

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    LOL, It could serve as a place to adopt psychotic characters. I have much material for such a thing. Not so sure how the powers that be would like it though, lol.
     
  19. EdFromNY
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    EdFromNY Hope to improve with age Supporter Contributor

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    I fear we are setting a bad example for @Duchess-Yukine-Suoh.
     
  20. Trish
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    Trish I've been deleted.. again Contributor

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    That may be, but we're admitting that all of the shenanigans were stupid - and should not be tried at home. Ever.
     
  21. 123456789
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    123456789 Contributing Member Contributor

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    Just to make it perfectly clear, everyone here is well aware that stating something like "I drove drunk down a mountain rode at night going 100 mph" is akin to saying "The only difference between myself and a convicted murderer is that I wasn't unlucky"?
     
  22. KaTrian
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    KaTrian A foolish little beast. Staff Supporter Contributor

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    Here's just a few... I don't regret anything, but I admit I've been stupid.

    -Wandering around Oxford at night at the age of 16, hammered. It was an international theater camp thingy. Had I gotten caught, I would've been sent straight home. Very embarrassing. And, of course, it wasn't very safe either.

    -At 14 or so I tried to get my navel pierced. Me and my BFF had road-tripped to another city some 400km away. The piercing parlor owner asked if I had a parent's consent. I said no. He asked for my Mom's phone number. I gave it. I... gave... it.
    WHY? I must've been conditioned. And I got in so much trouble afterwards.

    -At 17 I went to one rock festival. You are allowed to buy booze from outside the festival area and bring it in if you wanted. For some reason, being so drunk, I thought it was forbidden. I stuffed my plastic cup (full of beer) in my bag. The guard at the gates of course checked that I didn't try to smuggle in anything illegal. For some reason she squeezed my bag and broke the cup. My bag was quite soaked and smelly after that.

    -I went ice-skating on a lake. Wanted to show off my mad figure skating skills and backed straight into a hole in the ice. Cold.

    -T and I went on a long walk in an unfamiliar forest the night before his sister's doctoral defense / after-party. We got lost for hours, made it home around 4-5am and had to be at the university around 9am. So we couldn't pick any other night for a little stroll in the woods, oh no...

    -I was to meet some of T's friends for the first time in this pretty up-class beer house. I was trying to impress this rather educated and older lot with my beer-drinking abilities. Unfortunately the fine beers packed a bigger punch than I expected and I ended up passing out in the toilet. One woman from our company found me later. I received snide-ish remarks about that the next day... totally justified.

    -I was in the sauna, washing up. There's a big vat of sorts above the heater or whatever it's called in English (with the stones and the stove) in which water is heated up. You take that water and mix it with cold water from the lake to get lukewarm washing water. For some reason I took a ladleful of that boiling hot water and poured it under my swimming suit. I bolted straight to the lake, jumped right in, and good thing I did because the cold water kept my chest from burning badly. I have only very faint scars left, so I was lucky in all my infinite stupidity.

    -One of the stupidest and most everlasting ones would be the tattoo on my upper back. The same BFF made it with a carpet knife and ink. It's a triangle, or more like the shape and size of a Vicks Blue pastille. I could tattoo over it, but I suppose it has sentimental value... And I'm also too embarrased to show it to any tattoo artist.

    Just a guess, but she'd probably feel like crap if her presence and young age kept the rest of us from indulging our over-sharing sides and revealing stupid stuff about ourselves.
     
  23. Trish
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    Trish I've been deleted.. again Contributor

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    They're all good, but these two made me literally lol. :D


    I agree. lol
     
  24. T.Trian
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    T.Trian Overly Pompous Bastard Staff Supporter Contributor

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    Right, where to start... I guess I'll go for the highlights of the more innocent incidents in the name of common decency and to avoid incriminatnig myself. :D Oh, and also to shield our Dutchess from the worst of what us crazy adults get up to in the shadows.

    1) At a festival, me and a friend got truly wasted and passed out in her car, windows closed to keep out the noise of a drunken Finnish summer night. At some point I wake up, so very nauseous and barely able to breathe. Since in Finland the sun doesn't set at night, it can be pretty hot even during the small hours, so was it a surprise that the oxygen level was low and heat high? Anyway, I open a door to gasp for air only to witness a scene that was forever etched in my retinae: some guys had torn down the tent some 20ft from ours, one had taken a shit on it, wiped his ass on the guy's (tent owner) towel, tossed that on the tent, and then they had found a fallen tree from the nearby forest and carried that on top of the tent as well.

    2) I finished my 18th birthday with a fabulous, bouncer-aided exit from a local bar after a friend of mine got rowdy (being an ex-meth head, he'd got some wires crossed and always got violent towards non-buddies when drunk) and of course I and another friend had to stand by his side even though we knew he was the guilty party. Oh, and we'd dumped our fourth friend in the bathtub at my place after he started barfing at like 21:00 or so into the evening (sprayed the asshole friend's face and front in the process, actually). For some reason, we figured he'd be safe as long as he stayed in the bathtub. Drunken logic...

    3) Climbing a few wire fences separating railroad tracks because I couldn't be bothered to walk the extra 200 meters through the tunnel. By the time I reached my destination, I had a gaping hole in the crotch of my jeans.

    4) Downing 10oz of whiskey in a little over 20 minutes when I was 15. I kept it all down but the room spun like crazy even when I was lying down and I started sobering up at 20:00 or so.

    5) Exchanging blood vows with a bunch of people when I had no idea whether their blood was clean or not. Felt like a cool idea at the time. Happened a few times, so now I have around a dozen blood brothers and sisters somewhere out there (KaTrian being one of them, actually).

    6) At 16, me and a friend decided to find out whether ouija boards actually worked or were bs. We set one up, lit the room only with black candles, put a silver ring and a drops of our blood under the glass, you know, went by every book we could find, and also did everything we possibly could to "provoke" the spirits or whatever the hell they are: we had a mirror nearby and tried to summon something in it, we asked when we would die, all that jazz. In the end we tried summoning spirits into the cupboard, the oven, the fridge, and then gave up. In all fairness, up until the last attempts, we did really try it in earnest, without giggling or tittering or anything. Did I already mention it didn't work?

    7) I had just met a girl online (on some forum, not a dating site, mind) and it was New Year's. My own plans fell through and when I mentioned this to her, she jokingly invited me to her place some 300+km away. Well, I hopped on a train and boy, did I end up in a weird place. It was my most Royston Vasey experience ever. I've mentioned this here before, but here are the highlights: one guy at her party had raped one of the girls and one of the guys present when they were passed out (separate occasions) yet they were all still friends (stretches my definition of "friends"). When my friend started barfing in the shower (clothes on, shower off), the others were just heading out to the local pub, so I stayed behind to make sure she didn't pass out and drown in her own vomit. Eventually I fell asleep on the couch but woke up when the others came back and started wondering aloud (thinking I was still asleep) whether I had raped the passed out girl, joking about it as if it was the only sensible thing for me to do while I had the opportunity. Needless to say, I didn't stay in touch.

    8) When visiting Riga, Latvia with some martial arts buddies, I managed to knock over a decorative broom in a bathroom stall so that it fell over a few candles, but I didn't notice this before the broom caught fire and I had to snuff it out in the toilet. Then some leaflet stuck to my foot and, being too lazy to tear it off with my hands, I tried to shake it off straight into a trash can (one with a flopping cover). I lost my balance and got my foot stuck in the trash can. Since I was wearing steel-toed boots, when I tried to yank out my foot, it wouldn't fit through the hole and the trash can's cover came off. I only got it out after some more acrobatics.

    9) Provoking a few fights just for the hell of it: if someone starts stirring things up for no reason, well, it's a little frustrating when you're trying to have a good time, so sometimes I just couldn't be bothered to try to talk them down or bugger off to avoid the confrontation, so I'd throw gas in the flames just for the fun of it and for the adrenaline rush. Surprisingly enough, most drunken idiots back off and scuttle away once they realize you're actually interested in fighting with them. Some don't, so it's good to take that into consideration. Exhilarating but risky.

    10) Me and KaTrian were in a department store during rush hour when the, um, urge took us, so we went into the ladies' room but, well, you know how time sometimes flies, so by the time we stepped out, there was an actual queue outside. It was a little awkward to come out all red-faced. We're so gonna do that again...


    In your defence, we went to the up-class beer house you mentioned after being at my band's singer's birthday bash where we both downed 2-3 liters of beer each in a pretty fast succession. Our plan was to just pay a quick visit to the beer house, but meeting my martial arts buddies there was sheer coincidence: my phone had switched itself off and one of them had tried calling me a few times to invite me there, but as luck would have it, we stumbled straight to their table, wholly unaware of their attempts to contact me. I think it was the first time you drank stronger beers (0,5l of 6% beer, 0,5l of 8%, and 0,35l of 9,5%) so I think you did pretty admirably, all things considering. Strong beers can be treacherous...
     
    Last edited: Oct 29, 2013
  25. erebh
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    erebh Contributing Member Contributor

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    I agree!
     

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