1. big soft moose
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    big soft moose Active Member

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    The fictional autobiography thread

    Discussion in 'Writing Prompts' started by big soft moose, Aug 11, 2016.

    Inspired by discussion here http://www.writingforums.org/threads/case-studies.147706/#post-1476283 the idea is that if you were asked to describe your life by a random with a clipboard and being a creative type decide to lie , what would you say (no rules you can say what you like , but it will be more interesting if we don't all go down the road of " Hi i'm Brad Pitt..." )

    Since it was my idea, i'll kick off

    "Hi i'm Brad Pitt " .. no , bad moose, down boy ...

    " Hi I'm Pete , i'm 32... yeah you know i'm a writer, but i've probably not written anything that you'd have heard of, unless you watch a lot of day time Tv..aha, yeah I mainly write scripts for "the young and the restless" and that kind of thing , its not the best gig but it was all I could get after I got out of prison... yeah well it was all a misunderstanding really... ive still no idea how that goat got there , or what that dwarf was doing to it...

    so when i'm not writing I like to relax in my garden with my six newfoundlands pew, pew, charlie mgrew, cuthbert, dibble, and grub - I find they are great for leaning on.. why i was a kid i used to ride one to the shops.
    "

    Thats all ive got for now ...
     
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  2. Sal Boxford
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    Sal Boxford Active Member

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    My name is Tallulah, and I'm the landlady of a pub in Rawtenstall. I have two Tibetan Mastiffs called Ronnie and Boss - they are my babies. My 26-year-old daughter Keeley helps with the day-to-day running of the pub. She has been a great help since my husband Alan was swallowed whole by a blue whale while sea fishing off the coast of Australia on holiday three years ago. As well as being a licensee, I am a qualified crystal healer, and occasionally run healing sessions after hours.
     
  3. Shadowfax
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    Shadowfax Contributing Member Contributor

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    My name is [redacted] and I've been working for MI5 for about ten years now. My biggest operation was when we managed to infiltrate the White House and we got those really kinky pictures of the Pres...what's that boss? Yeah, I know I'm wearing a wire. Oh, sorry, I didn't realise you could hear what I was saying.
     
  4. Wolfmaster1234
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    Wolfmaster1234 Member

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    Ok I'll have a go at this.
    My name is Sven Kristensen. I used to run a tech company, I built it from the ground myself. I put in all nighters all the time, barely saw my wife, sometimes for days on end. I didnt like the man I was becoming so I sold it all, everything I had built and bought a cabin just north of trondhiem. I rarely visit the city anymore it's just me, my wife, my two Irish wolf hounds and the land that I love. And I've never been happier.
     
  5. Shadowfax
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    Shadowfax Contributing Member Contributor

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    Now that I'm at home all the time, my wife's realised she can't stand me; she ran off with the TV serviceman the third week...
     
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  6. Lifeline
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    Lifeline The Dark - not in Wonderland Supporter Contributor

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    This will be fun :D I love this idea!!!!

    Hi my name is Caden. Or any damn name you like, doesn't matter to me. You don't really believe that I'll tell you my real name? What freaking baby are you? Of course, it could also be true.
    But I am a war reporter. No shit, you know the funky types who lurked around every war for the last tenths of years? Whom no insurance company will accept anymore? Yep, that's me. You want to know where I am now? Let's just say, somewhere where it's freaking hot and dirty. My beard itches. I've not had a bath for a month. And I hate critters!

    I am in hiding, they will never catch me. My friends will help, just you wait and see! Don't believe me? Wait for the big revelation - just a few interviews more and I will be ready to release the biggest thing since the Kennedy assasination. In my free time I am writing some of my experiences down, cast as fiction of course. But you know what? The kernel of truth is in everything I write... that's not meant to be reassuring.

    Man, have I seen some things! I could tell you stuff out of nightmares, but... oh shit! INCOMING!
     
    Last edited: Aug 12, 2016
  7. Cave Troll
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    Cave Troll Bite the bullet, do your own thing. Contributor

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    I am Simon the fluffy Unicorn. I like to flay my friends when they abuse our relationship, and televise the event over a grueling 6 month period. After which I hang them by the ankles from a special secret tree. I leave the face intact so the devil can have something left to entertain himself.

    When not hanging flayed jerks from the special secret tree, I find other things of whimsy to amuse myself. Prancing in multicolored meadows, and chasing the automobiles on the freeway near the New Jersey Turnpike. Sometimes just lay in the toxic wastelands and marvel at the many unnatural colors of they turn the atmosphere with their deadly fumes. You know all the fun things, besides writing fiction for many an hour on the keyboard device. It is not easy being a Unicorn. :p
     
  8. zoupskim
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    zoupskim Contributing Member Contributor

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    Hello, my name is John Miller, and I'm a Journeyman electrician. I got this job by lying about knowing how to run wire, then just paid REALLY good attention during my first day of orientation. I learned as I went, and before you know I had helped wire my first condominium complex, over thousands of outlets and all the cables! I own part of the business now, my degree in communications management finally useful. It's great. I make my own hours, and although I work a lot, I get to see my kids all the time.

    I thought about joining the Marines, but... just didn't. It's better though. Who wants to run around getting yelled at all day?
     
  9. Phens97
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    Phens97 Member

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    Hi! my name is Kyle Ortega and I have lived in Burbank for six months. i don't usually like communication on any level but i feel as your new neighbor i must explain myself as i have heard you complaining through the duplex wall. i enjoy cooking meat, it's my greatest hobby in fact. when you hear a loud crack, like a gunshot, please do not worry, my radio i listen to while cooking is busted. if you hear thuds or screams, personal as it is, i have seizures.

    i cant promise you that i am in no way, shape or form a murderous cannibal, that is absurd and it saddens me that you would bring up such a question
     
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