The Not Happy Thread

I haven't had a shower in two weeks. My boiler broke - again - and the landlord has been characteristically slow to respond. No heating,no hot water. For a fortnight! The landlord hides anonymously behind limited companies so I can't see him face to face. Which would be a pleasure. For me,not him!!!

 

When I finally get around to reformat my laptop (after half a year of pain due to something slowing it down almost beyond usability) it throws a "Recovery Failed" error at me...

 

But you did back up your stuff,please,God! Tell me you did that!!

 

Arrrrgh! Spent an hour twice crawling a couple miles in some serious traffic because on the way to my appointment the cops chased a guy in a stolen car and it ended up in a ditch with the police 4x4. To investigate, even though both vehicles were completely off the road, at rush hour they closed all lanes of a 6 lane main highway just off the freeway. Traffic backed up for miles on the freeway and barely moved a car length per minute on the highway as they funneled everyone onto a one lane road with a congested 4 way stop just a after the turn.

It was insane and unnecessary. Sure, the cops need to collect some basics on the accident, skid marks whatever. That should have taken no more than 30 minutes if the cops gave a rip about the traffic jam they were making.

http://www.komonews.com/news/local/Driver-fleeing-police-crashes-in-Bothell-299109931.html

 

That really sucks. >:[ I remember how a highway was closed for improvements and me and every car behind me was diverted nearly back the way we came and we had to make a gigantic loop just to get back!

 

It's kind of big and pointy, and not little and elegant as I'd like it to be. But well, guess it makes for an original nose, at least.

 

Okay, I have to say this: The band on Late Night with Seth Meyers is utterly awful and the theme song for that show is STUPID STUPID STUPID!! I mean, this show is on right after the Tonight Show, which has the Roots as their band, and the Roots are great. Seth Meyers' band sounds like they already gave up before they even started, by contrast.

Seth needs a MUCH better band and a better theme. Maybe he can hire Paul Shaffer after Letterman retires.

But damn. Bad, bad music on Seth Meyers. Bad, people.

Bad.

 

Saw a person having a seizure in the street, one relative had a fall, memorial day for a dead relative, extended family all falling in love while I'm still single...all within a space of two days. Then add insomnia and moodiness on top of that. I think I've reached the breaking point and am going back to normal though...thank god.

 

But have you gotten your driver's licence?

 

This is the point at which you move to another town at least 1000 miles from where you live now. I speak from personal experience - it works.

 

Maybe one day. I still have an elderly relative I have to check up on regularly and then there's finding employment.

And in another "not happy" incident...I almost ran into someone I didn't want to meet on the street. We were a few feet away from each other but I took a quick turn through the intersection. They didn't call out to me, so I hope they didn't see me. *whew*

 

My soul is weary, my brain silent and still. This isn't normal, I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop.

 

Drink a Redbull. It gives you wiiings!

 

Or cardiac arrest. I'm on meds to keep my heart rate down, no caffine, ever...

 

Oh so I guess meth is out of the question too.

 

I feel a little empty and down today. Though my head fully agrees with the goodbyes that have been said, my heart is sad.

 

Take control. Drop it yourself!

Whatever you usually do,do the opposite. I find that being against type disrupts those buggering moods that come over us. Blast them all to hell and take the left road instead of the right,the hot instead of the cold.

 

The heart will be sad for a time still, even when your eyes show laughter,and no one can survey what lies within you. But bear with it. Enjoy doing things you enjoy, surprise yourself by doing something new that you never thought of,to allow all your senses to reawaken and remind the heart why it's there...to heal as well as break.

 

Thank you. Someone I'd previously said goodbye to, suddenly popped back into my life for about two days, and I didn't expect it to leave such an impact on me. It's pretty crazy, because I thought I was past it. I made the conscious decision to not get back in the place I once was, and while I believe it's for the best, my heart heavily protests. But you're right, it will heal.

 

Unfortunately the thing that heals best is time.

 

I'm at the point of the semester where I need to be focused but my brain is unfocused and fuzzy, and the nice weather, as awesome as it is, is shit for making my brain sit down and properly focus.

I've also got a new job, thankfully, and a potential second one as well if this interview goes well this weekend, but it's also stressful to be starting a new job with school getting close to finals, and worrying about how many hours I'll get since it's only a minimum wage job, because I start paying rent in two months, and ARGH IT FEELS LIKE THINGS ARE ALL PILING UP AND MY BRAIN IS SHITTING OUT ON ME siiiiiiigh.

Things will be better in a few weeks, I know, and I'll be significantly de-stressed once school ends. Hopefully I can pull through until then. My grades are the most important thing by far right now.

 

Two jobs and college at the same time? I think I just lost my ability to complain about anything in my life right now. Good luck, though. Hopefully your hard work pays off in good grades.

 

So the friend I thought I had avoided actually saw me. When she asked why, I spoke the truth. It all went back to something she did to hurt me years ago, and even now, she insists I took it the wrong way. This is the big impasse. There's no way I can be her friend anymore because that broke my trust and it's only years later that she's trying to earn it back.

 

I'm so tired of feeling emotions right now and yet they're all I want to feel. I want to hang out with people and open myself up and love others but I'm so stressed from school and so busy with work and apartment preparations that I can't, plus I just... I can't be emotionally available in the ways I want to right now. It's weird. It's so strange, but I both want to be emotionally open and I know that I can't, not in the ways I truly want to be right now. I don't know. I just want these next three weeks over with so I can go home for a few weeks before I move into the apartment. The end of 2nd semester plus all these residual emotions plus the weather getting nicer is shortening my perspective and making me feel more eager to get out of here than I would be otherwise. I feel like I'm clawing at the walls and I'm tired of feeling that way and I'm tired of being here and I just want this semester done and I want out, for fuck's sake.

 

So you're feeling normal! We all are creatures that want to be social but we don't want to get hurt at the same time. Your's is just complicated a little right now with you being so busy and you have more to lose in a bad relationship. Just ride the final wave and then sun bath floating in the calm waters.