1. anastasiastarz
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    anastasiastarz Member

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    What do you think of my Plot?

    Discussion in 'Plot Development' started by anastasiastarz, Oct 10, 2007.

    1. Adrian meets and becomes friends with Helen.
    2. At the assembly Constance (headmistress) yells at him for talking when she’s about to talk.
    3. Adrian meets Anton, Marshall, Lily and Dennis.
    4. Hannah is new at the school and wants to be friends with Felicity, Natalie and Hugo but they don’t like her.
    5. At the maths club Adrian meets Felicity and Hannah at the homework club.
    6. Anton lets Adrian in on a secret and tells him about Felicity and how they first met.
    7. Hannah just happens to be walking past and at the mention of Felicity she hangs around and eavesdrops.
    8. To get back at Felicity for not being friends with her, Hannah uses the internet to spread rumours about Felicity saying she has a crush on Adrian (which she thinks) and Anton’s going out with Lily (which is totally untrue as they are related).
    9. Hugo hears the rumour about Anton, but doesn’t know Hannah made it.
    10. At lunchtime Hugo tells Natalie and Felicity about the rumour in the practice room. Outside Anton and Lily are “flirting” with each other.
    11. Hannah sends an email about Felicity to Anton, he decides to investigate just to make sure it was entirely false, but he ends up think she likes his best friend because he sees her talking to Adrian a lot but he never actually hears what they’re saying.
    12. Felicity and Anton, both believing the ‘rumours’ because of the evidence they found; become very distant. They won’t talk to each other, because they’re both waiting for each other to explain.
    13. Natalie suggests that Felicity talks to Anton about it but, Felicity refuses to talk to him until he explains what she saw. Meanwhile Anton won’t talk to Adrian and asks Helen to talk to Adrian for him. Helen gets annoyed and makes Anton talk to Adrian.
    14. Hugo and Natalie finds out that Hannah has been the one spreading the rumours and Natalie plans to make her pay.
    15. During an exam Natalie invites Hannah to sit next to her. Natalie makes Hannah look at her exam and then tells on her. Hannah gets a detention for ‘copying’ Natalie’s exam, even though Hannah was doing a different exam.
    16. Hugo sends an email telling Anton that the rumour wasn’t true and it was started by Hannah.
    17. Anton talks to Felicity about the rumours and apologizes for believing it. She asks him about Lilly, and he says that she’s his step-sister and they were just joking. Felicity believes him but won’t forgive him.
    18. Anton tells Hannah to see him alone and he confronts her about spreading rumours.
    19. Anton and Felicity are upset with each other, Adrian notices and talks to them, but they both won’t tell him anything. After he tells Felicity that he knows about Anton she tells him.
    20. Anton attempts suicide by cutting his wrist.
    21. Adrian notices that he was missing the next morning at the meeting, and gets worried. After the meeting he goes to look for Anton and discovers he’s in his room unconscious.
    22. Adrian asks Helen for help. He finds a red rose and a letter addressed to Felicity on Anton’s desk and takes the letter.
    23. Adrian gives Felicity the letter Anton wrote. After she reads it, Adrian puts it back on his desk, as if no one noticed it was ever there. Felicity remembers when Anton first said he liked her.
    24. When Felicity sees Anton, she forgives him and they’re together again.
    25. Felicity got some heart problem while she was upset with Anton, and dies because of it.
    26. Helen and Adrian talk about Felicity and Adrian ends up telling Helen he likes her
    27. Constance talks to Helen and Adrian about Felicity and Anton and their past
    28. Anton is very upset and disappears but leaves all his stuff there and a letter and a black rose for Constance and two yellow roses for Helen and Adrian. In the letter he asks them to put Felicity in a glass coffin (she’s not going to decompose) in their secret garden.
    29. Natalie and Hugo ask Helen and Adrian about Felicity and Anton and they say A+F have moved schools.
    30. A few months later Hannah goes missing and a blue blood covered rose was found in her room
    31. Constance, Helen and Adrian go to the secret rose garden and find a red rose in Felicity’s glass coffin, and they know the phantom is back.
     
  2. anastasiastarz
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    anastasiastarz Member

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    In the story there's also a few of the characters memories from the past:

    3 yrs ago - Anton and Felicity's first meeting in this life ------------------ 6) Anton tells Adrian about Felicity
    Centuries ago - Ethel cursing and Rose -------------------------------------- 8) Hannah’s Revenge
    Centuries ago – Joel cursing Ethel ------------------------------------------- 18) Anton confronting Hannah
    Centuries ago - Rose's Death ------------------------------------------------25) Felicity’s Death
     
  3. anastasiastarz
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    anastasiastarz Member

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    Location:
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    Setting:
    Collège et Lycée des Cinq Flèches
    Place – Parallel Universe - Boarding School in Bordeaux (France)
    Time – 4287 AD (Future) – Term 2
     
  4. anastasiastarz
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    anastasiastarz Member

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    Title: Untitled
     
  5. anastasiastarz
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    anastasiastarz Member

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    Location:
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    Characters:
    Present
    Anton - 27yr old music teacher
    Felicity - 18yr old student
    Adrian - 25yr old maths teacher
    Hannah - 17yr old student
    Helen - 24yr old doctor
    Constance - 35yr old headmistress
    Lily - 24yr old gymnastics teacher
    Hugo - 18yr old student
    Natalie - 18yr old student
    Dennis - 32yr old history teacher
    Marshall - 29yr old english teacher
    Past
    Felicity - Rose
    Anton - Joel
    Hannah - Ethel
    Constance - Mary
    Fantôme
     
  6. anastasiastarz
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    anastasiastarz Member

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    History of Collège et Lycée des Cinq Flèches
    Collège et Lycée des Cinq Flèches was once a church a long ago. In 1800’s (1807) mysteriously one by one the people who lived there disappeared, the only clue was a single red rose covered in blood left each time the place where someone vanished. Till the year of 2000 it was an old abandoned place in ruins that no one ever visited. It was said to be haunted by the cursed lovers, Joel and Rose. It was eventually rebuilt again and the same events occurred again and again, the disappearances and blood covered roses. In 3284 the church was replaced with a boarding school, and then the disappearances stopped.
     
  7. anastasiastarz
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    anastasiastarz Member

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    If you've read my plot plz suggest a title.

    These are ones I've come up with:
    Spring for Entenity
    Fantom of the School
     
  8. Torana
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    Torana Contributing Member Contributor

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    Hi,

    I think that you have plotted this out quite well. It gives a good run down of what is going on in the story. You have a pretty solid plot here and it has been well written out.

    I was a little confused about the rose bit, but then when you added about the history it cleared up my confusion altogether.

    As for a title I would stay clear of using the word Phantom, it is a little too cliche in my opinion. You need something eye catching. Try something similar to the first idea you came up with. It is good. It ties in well with the over all plot. I think that the word enternity really plays the part well in the title.
     
  9. Endeavour
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    Endeavour Senior Member

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    Can't comment much on your story's (or probably novel's) main concepts and ideas but I think a solid plot like yours should the very least help you with the writing process.
     
  10. Cogito
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    Cogito Former Mod, Retired Supporter Contributor

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    Save the title for after the rest is written. If you come up with an interim title, that is fine. But You have plenty of time to select a title as you write, and as the details fill in, one may leap from those details to become the obvious choice.

    Overall, you plot seems well planned, but I would expect there may be changes as you fill in the actual story. I never go into a story with that detailed an outline!

    Characters often dictate the flow as they grow, and it is usually best toi let them do so,
    in my opinion.
     
  11. ScaryPen
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    ScaryPen Active Member

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    Wow! You do know exactly where and how your story will go, don't you? Wish I had your clarity of vision. My style is more 'make up as you go' :p (I'm pathetic)

    Your plot is very interesting and seems to hold a lot of potential. Having a clear plot will help you in the final execution as your story has a lot going on. All the best, hope it comes out like you want!:)
     
  12. anastasiastarz
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    anastasiastarz Member

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    Thanks for the reviews and comments everyone.

    My characters personalities are based on people I know, which makes it a lot easier to write the script. When the script I completed I want to publish it as a novel, but I'm currently not sure which publisher I should talk to. I know the story really well because some of the events actually and unfourtunitly happened.

    I'm doing this for a project, this year I'm writing it as a sceenplay. Next year or the year after that I'm thinking of writing it as a novel then I want to get it published.

    With some parts of the plot I think are over dramatic and kind of unrealistic. Like Anton's reaction towards Felicity's death. My friend says his reaction is cute. But unrealistic unless he's got a mental problem.
     
  13. anastasiastarz
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    anastasiastarz Member

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    How do you think Adrian should act towards Felicity?
    (Adrian's Anton's best friend and Felicity's private tutor, he knows about their relationship because Anton partly told him and some other reason)
     
  14. Torana
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    Torana Contributing Member Contributor

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    Just to let you know after thinking about this piece earlier on today a few title suggestions came to mind. <I was bathing my children when they came into my head actually >< >

    Blood of a thousand roses

    Rose blood resurrection

    Something along those lines may possibly gain a little more interest by potential viewers. I can't be certain they would, but it gives you a few things to look at.
     
  15. Gannon
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    Gannon Contributing Member Contributor

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    I think the way Adrian and Felicity act is just fine as long as it is dealt with quite detachedly rather than melodramatically, his reaction resides in your mind, his action can be fine if you write it such.

    I think your plot revolving around the lycée is a little fanciful but if you can blend it successfully with the history you may well have a great idea. That history is crucial as you know to explaining what it happening. I'd weave it into the narrative rather than have it as an intro or the like, let it seep into the reader's conscious.

    Promising.
     
  16. Gannon
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    Gannon Contributing Member Contributor

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    Oh and with regards to a title -

    Forever spring is better than spring for eternity.
    La rentrée perpetuelle might work
    La vie en rose would be good but has already been taken, why not La vie en roses?
     
  17. Torana
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    Torana Contributing Member Contributor

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    Those are some great suggestions for a title Gannon.
    I like the La rentrée perpetuelle, I think that one could work alright.

    Definately worth while thinking about anastasiastarz.
     
  18. anastasiastarz
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    anastasiastarz Member

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    Thanx for the suggestions, I think they're all really good. But I think the title should be in english and should be like umm... when you first read the title it makes you want to read the book, and it should appeal to boys and girls so nothing girly.
     
  19. Endeavour
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    Endeavour Senior Member

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    I also encourage writers to seriously consider this advice. It is never a good idea to follow one's initial plot exacly (especially like a detalied plot as the one present here), as it completely spoils the enthusiasm to write the main piece.
     
  20. Karpi
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    Karpi Member

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    im gonna have to agree with endeavor
    you might have more fun writing it (thus making the story better usually)
    if you dont have that immensely detailed outline
     
  21. MilesTro
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    MilesTro Active Member

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    This plot is giving me a head ache!
     
  22. anastasiastarz
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    anastasiastarz Member

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    This is a plot for a sceen play, but I might write the story next year.
     

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