1. JessiSky
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    JessiSky New Member

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    What do you think?

    Discussion in 'Character Development' started by JessiSky, Nov 19, 2011.

    Hey guys I'm new and I've never really been much into posting stuff forums, honestly I'm just here to get some opinions. Hope that's cool?

    I have a character that I think is developing pretty well but wanted an outside opinion from family and friends. i just feel like I need the brutal honesty. So here goes.

    Character One:
    Name: Skyla von Silverblood (next in line to take leadership of her clan, but abandons them and she changes her last name from von Silverblood to Whiteheart)
    Age: looks about mid twenties, much much much older.
    looks: very attractive, lean and athletic. however has a tail and demonic eyes. also has a very large scar going from her chest to the bottom of her abdomen, that she's not proud of, not because its physically gross looking but because it represents a shameful moment in her life. because of this scar whenever she sees herself she can't help but think about her family she abandoned(see flaws)

    A dragon character.(in my story she mainly stays in human form, it's easier to travel without the distractions, but "human" form is actually a dragons "mating" form, since they can't mate in their full beast form).

    Good Traits: Kind and helpful person(like most in her race, being a "white/holy" dragon). Has a general idea that most people are good inside and everyone deserves to be free of judgement until they prove themselves one way or another. However, not naive she knows she should always keep her guard up with strangers(just doesn't do it in a stand offish way). Intelligent.

    Neutral traits:(good or bad) Very flirty, again this is just her race. The way she carries herself with someone she finds attractive just wouldn't be okay with a catholic church haha. Just not the way she was raised, raised to be very open and free. Which also leads her into being very outgoing, she's likeable because of her confidence and ability to talk to people, but it can get her into trouble by getting herself too noticed.

    Flaws: Irresponsible, but knows she's irresponsible-tries to put that guilt in the back of her mind. Vengeful, main conflict with her through out the story is that she is trying to get revenge for her brother's death. When someone brings up the fact that she practically abandoned her other family instead of learning to deal with the death she just laughs and changes the subject but on the inside is ridden with guilt because she KNOWS she has to move on but doesn't want to. This leads to outbursts of anger when someone is pressing the issue down her throat, she begins to hold a grudge against those peoples. Also hasty when angry, any strategic thought process that she might have had when she was calm is gone. later in the story she does over come this, the antagonist actually makes her see herself for what she is truly being.

    Trying to make her as human feeling as possible. She's a good kind person not because she's holier then art thou, but because in the world there are just kind nice people you meet. i didn't want to reach into the extreme of self sacrificing either out of sheer kindness, that just doesn't seem believable to me. I also had a section of Neutral traits because I believe certain aspects of a person don't necessarily have to be good or bad. Her flaws, aren't necessarily horrific hindering things either. i wanted a more human feeling conflict with in her. One that i felt was best was the idea that a person KNOWS they are doing something wrong either for them or someone else but does it anyways to make themselves feel better. I feel like that connects to people, cause I think in a general sense almost everyone has had a moment like that.
     
  2. ArtWander
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    ArtWander Contributing Member

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    I'd say you have a very thought out character there :) I think that she would make a fine addition to a deep fantasy story (as long as it stays that way, otherwise she would be a bit out of place, haha.)

    If you want my opinion (and you may not), try to make a story with a conflict and work the characters in as an afterthought. It seems like a really haphazard way of doing things, but you'd be surprised just how much life you can breathe into your characters using this method :) I only mention this because, as writers, we like to get really bogged down with making a fun, interesting, deep, thoughtful character...but if you spend too much time on filling her out before throwing her into a story, it can come off as a bit forced or contrived (ie, she doesn't fit in)

    Anyway, my two cents. I'd say write out a couple pages and post it here! Show us the great character that she is!
     
  3. matty@!#
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    matty@!# New Member

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    heh


    Perfect
     
  4. Purehate94
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    Purehate94 New Member

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    Sounds good to me. I can tell you put a lot of time and effort into developing your character. It's good for authors to have such well thought out characters. She seems like a great addition to your story! :)
     
  5. Protar
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    Protar Active Member

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    Could be written well but I see a few cliches. People are going to judge you harshly if you describe your main character as an incredibly attractive and independent demonic dragon girl so you'll need to work hard to subvert their expaectations. And there are things like being flirtatious due to her race which isn't how it should work. Instead being forward about emotions and being open about sex should be cultural expectations in her race but each member of the race should put a different spin on this. Don't go down the planet of hats route.
     
  6. ArtWander
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    ArtWander Contributing Member

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    I think Protar has a point here. To say that someone is the way they are just based on something like race/species(?) is sort of one-dimensional. Take some extra time here...develop WHY she acts this way, rather than just, 'because.'
     
  7. gimble13
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    gimble13 Member

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    i think your character is well thought out but has the potential to be over the top if not grounded well.
    perhaps rather than have her laugh her way around ishuse, as you say she has when dealing with death and other problems.
    instead try she should avoid confronting problems at any cost this seems a more realistic reaction to me.
    people often run away from problems rather than confront them as its often there way of cooping with loss, regret or embarrassment
     

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